AP - Calif. McDonald's Tries Feng Shui Theme
Sunday February 24, 2:16 pm ET By Daisy Nguyen,Associated Press Writer
Do You Want Fries With That Zen? California McDonald's Aims to Boost Sales With Feng Shui
HACIENDA HEIGHTS, Calif. (AP) -- The only familiar signs at the McDonald's in this large Asian community are the golden arches, the drive-through and the menu. Gone are the plastic furniture, Ronald McDonald and the red and yellow palette that has defined the world's largest hamburger chain. Leather seats, earth tones, bamboo plants and water trickling down glass panels have taken their place.
The makeover elements are meant to help diners achieve happiness and fortune -- whether they realize it or not. That's because the restaurant was redesigned using the principles of feng shui, the ancient Chinese practice of arranging objects and numbers to promote health, harmony and prosperity. Yes -- ancient Chinese practices are always awesome -- like foot-binding for example -- that was a good one. I wonder if there are any ancient Chinese practices which ward off smarmy liberal asshats.
The concept is an unlikely fit with fast food. But the restaurant's owners say the designs are aimed at creating a soothing setting that will encourage diners to linger over their burgers and fries, and come back again. Linger over McDonalds burgers? Don't people go to McDonalds to get FAST FOOD?
The makeover is part of the attempt by McDonald's Corp. in recent years to remodel hundreds of its restaurants to attract more patrons with unique decor and amenities that might entice them stay awhile. Stay awhile? Why?
It also fits into McDonald's larger corporate practice of catering to local tastes, such as a fondue-style burger in France or a pita-wrapped "McArabia" sandwich in the Middle East.
"We can't look too cookie cutter," Mark Brownstein, one of three owners of the restaurant, said about the new decor. Noooo -- "cookie cutter" is bad you know. Hey -- Brownstein -- how about a mint -- a money mint -- too "cookie cutter" for you, jackass? LMAO - buys a GD McDonalds and then says "we don't want to be too cookie cutter." Someone should smack him in the chops with the "crowbar of irony."
The basic principles of feng shui include placing strategic representations of five natural elements -- earth, water, fire, metal and wood -- around the room to increase the flow of chi, or energy. Uh -- and what can you put around the room to increase the flow of the ancient American idea of comfort , also known as "cash."
Feng shui (pronounced fung shway) has been employed in the designs of high-rises, banks, even zoo exhibits, and has been popularized by countless coffee table books and TV shows such as HGTV's "Fun Shui." It's also used in the designs of the Panda Express Chinese food chain.
The McDonald's in this Los Angeles suburb boasts wood ceiling, silver-coated chairs, plus red accents throughout the dining area to symbolize fire and "good luck, laughter and prosperity," said Brenda Clifford, who designed the dining area. The textured walls patterned after ocean waves symbolize "life and relaxation -- the balanced things that you want in your life," she said. Yes -- I'd put up wall posters of a guy with a full tray giving someone seated a boot in the ass -- this would "symbolize" you have stayed at your table too long.
Customers are responding positively, whether or not they recognize the feng shui elements.
"When we first walked in we were amazed, we were happy we skipped the drive-through and went inside," Andrew Chen said while lounging in a white leather booth with a friend. White leather booth -- oh yeah -- McDonalds customers are EXACTLY who you want in your white leather booth -- rofl.
Chen, 20, said he didn't notice the feng shui elements. He just thought it was a modern interior.
Two workers at the nearby post office said they've been taking more lunch breaks at the remodeled McDonald's, which opened in late December.
"We're here two, three times a week," Waldo Alfaro said as he munched on a Filet-O-Fish and a salad. "It's relaxing, you don't feel any pressure here." Yes -- at the regular McDonalds, it's just pressure, pressure, pressure.
Nevermind that this is the same McDonald's that's been vilified by critics over its artery-clogging Big Macs and fries. Whew -- I thought the lib reporter was never going to mention the "evil McDonalds" refrain.
The buzz about the feng shui McDonald's is starting to attract curious onlookers.
"It's successful as a design. It's got a very clean, open, airy appearance," said Elaine Bjorklund, a professor emerita of cultural geography at the University of Western Ontario in Canada, who was in town visiting a friend. "I'm not a McDonald's habituee," she added as she snapped pictures of the dining area. "It would be interesting to see if this trend will spread." Oh God -- As if I give a crap what some egghead "professor emerita" of cultural ANYTHING says. I sure am glad she quickly pointed out that she hardly EVER goes to a McDonalds -- you know -- with the dregs and so forth.
Brownstein said he and his partners chose the feng shui makeover because the restaurant is located near a renowned Buddhist temple, which is considered good luck. The designs were meant to appeal to the area's growing Asian population, but were also done in a way that would help all customers tap their inner Zen. Sure -- everyone knows that Asians aren't in a hurry -- you know -- unless there is a camera sale somewhere nearby -- Inner Zen -- *puking*
With the help of a feng shui master, the designers added details that only feng shui practitioners could appreciate. They include positioning the doors in a way that would block out bad spirits while keeping good ones inside, Clifford said. Gaaaa, bad spirits are afoot -- but they've been thwarted by lib geniuses and door placement - DRAT. Personally, I think a security guard would work better.
The eight rows of red tiles near the food counter are another symbol of fortune, because the number eight is considered auspicious, she said. Meanwhile, the metal sculptures of a crane and Koi fish adorning one wall represent fertility and prosperity, she said. I'd rather you put up a pic of an employee getting fired for being slow -- that would "represent" a sense of urgency and getting my food quickly so I could get back to work.
Clifford said she made the nearly fatal mistake of putting 44 seats in the dining area, until she learned that feng shui followers consider the number four a symbol of bad luck. So she added an extra seat to make it 45.
"Few people would notice it, but if you're in the know, you'll say 'Oh my God, that's terrible,'" she said. Whew -- now if the feng-shui cognoscenti come in, there will be no embarrassment. Idiots.
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