Saturday, January 28, 2012

Some one liners, courtesy of Hector


The wife suggested I get myself one of those penis enlargers, so I did .... she's 21 and her name's Natasha.
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Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting "pedophile!" and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I'm 50. It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.
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My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."
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A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" He says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"
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My girlfriend says she thinks that I might be a stalker. Well ... she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.
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My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back. 
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