Grandpa:”Okay. Anyone here who has fought in a war can go to sleep whenever they want. Everyone else, 8:30!”
"I wish i would’ve eaten you when your bones were still soft."
“This family is not a democracy. It’s a dictatorship. If it were a democracy, you’d pay me taxes.”
“It’s just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?”
"Put the cat down. PUT IT DOWN. PUT THE… screw it. It’ll hurt you and that’s how you will learn. "
Me: "I was freezing last night."
Mom: "Get another blanket for tonight then."
Dad: "What?! Don’t spoil him, he’ll never leave."
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"I wish i would’ve eaten you when your bones were still soft."
“This family is not a democracy. It’s a dictatorship. If it were a democracy, you’d pay me taxes.”
“It’s just a fucking june bug, calm down. Jesus Christ, what happens when something bigger than a testicle attacks you?”
"Put the cat down. PUT IT DOWN. PUT THE… screw it. It’ll hurt you and that’s how you will learn. "
Me: "I was freezing last night."
Mom: "Get another blanket for tonight then."
Dad: "What?! Don’t spoil him, he’ll never leave."
More here:
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