Shittens are hand-shaped disposable moist wipes designed to prevent anything, uh, unsavory from getting on your hands when you wipe. From here:
You can buy your Shittens here for $9.95 plus shipping. Some of you peeps who go to fancy-pants functions should get some and put them on the back of the toilet at one of them ... and then step back and take video of the post discovery
Don't forget to email the video to us for posting and perusal by all of America. Because viewing video of rich people getting all indignant always makes us poor peeps feel superior.