Friday, July 12, 2013

Products for the completely brainwashed ninny

Let's face it, if you aren't buying this product then you're destroying your health, you're destroying the planet and you're enabling the capitalist in his relentless plundering of mother earth.

It's clear (to the very intelligent elite) that it is possible to have your cocktail sauce and be saving the planet at the same time.  Oh sure, it may cost you double for this stuff ... and it may not be quite as good (or last as long in the bottle) ... but you won't be having it unless you have some friends over so you can show them the bottle.  Oh yes, think of the fun you'll have as you all sit around congratulating yourselves on your stewardship of the planet.  And you'll have nothing to fear about your friends calling you out on this crap either ... if they are good libs, their greatest fear is being rejected by the herd so whatever drive they have toward honesty will be dominated and suppressed by the fear of rejection.  Wow ... I'm so looking forward to sitting around with friends and pretending how it's SOOOO MUCH BETTER than having all those preservatives ... mmmmm-mmmmm good.

That's right ... so what are you waiting for, Moonbeam?  Put this product in your re-useable hemp grocery bag and shuffle your Birkenstock-wearing, grey-hair pigtailed ass over to the register.

H/T Wombat for the pic:

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