Saturday, July 2, 2011

That's right, you've been expecting it ... here come the dogshit Nazi's

Deborah Violette, a property manager, takes dog waste seriously.

Canine DNA is now being used to identify the culprits who fail to clean up after their pets, an offense that Deborah Violette, for one, is committed to eradicating at the apartment complex she manages.

Everyone who owns a dog in her complex, Timberwood Commons in Lebanon, N.H., must submit a sample of its DNA, taken by rubbing a cotton swab around inside the animal’s mouth.

The swab is sent to BioPet Vet Lab, a Knoxville, Tenn., company that enters it into a worldwide database. If Ms. Violette finds an unscooped pile, she can take a sample, mail it to Knoxville and use a DNA match to identify the offending owner.

Called PooPrints, the system costs $29.99 for the swabbing kit, $10 for a vial to hold the samples and $50 to analyze them, which usually takes a week or two. The company says that about two dozen apartment complexes around the country have signed up for the service. In 2008, the Israeli city of Petah Tikva created a dog DNA database for the same purpose. More here:

Yes, she looks like the kind of person who might take dog shit "very seriously."  I'll bet all the apartment dwellers there are very proud ... "That's right, I live at the Dogshit Terrace apartments, perhaps you've heard of it. Our slogan?  We don't take no shit, we don't give no shit, we are not in the shit business."

Said Mrs Violette, "We're not out to pile on but, seriously we've built up a good head of steam and we can't allow it to go to waste.  This is an outrageous assault on the community olfactory as well as a threat to expensive shoes everywhere.   Harumph -- umph -- umph - cluck, cluck - HEE HAW HEE HAW!!!!"

Ok, ok -- I might have made up some (or all) of the preceding quote. I blame the libs ... of course.

3 comments:

WOMBAT said...

Of course, this wouldn't be necessary if it ever occurred to dog people to clean up after their animals. It would also be very good of you to control your animals in ALL public areas. It might come as an absolute shock to you tha not everyone want to be licked, sniffed, or shed upon even though it's "just being friendly". Most people are morons and when morons own dogs, they have pets that act like morons.

wamk said...

I wish I lived near this complex. That way, I could take my dog that isn't registered in her DNA "library", and encourage it to take a dump on her lawn. Think of all the money she would waste, sending my dog's sample to the lab for analysis..

scot/nitwit said...

As a kid, growing up in Arcata, CA, we used to go to the SalArmy and buy a few cheap wallets. Then, we'd go to my house because I owned three big outdoor dogs. We'd find some of their shit and use sticks or whatever to fill the billfolds of the wallets. Then, we'd go down to the co-op (the "hippy store" as we called it) and toss the wallets, one at a time, into the parking lot and watch as some hippy would pick it up and look into it for money. It was a lot of fun. Once a guy didn't even look inside it, but took it into the store to turn in to the manager. Cheap thrills for bored kids on a Saturday afternoon. I'd like to send such a wallet to Deborah Violette.

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