It's vacation planning time

5 Vacation Planning Tips

(According To Horror Movies)
By Ned Resnikoff, Peter Hildebrand

First of all, if you have any African-American friends, you should probably bring one of them. Not more than one mind you, but at least one. This tends to make others around you more comfortable because they know you're not racist.
He'll also act as a canary in a coal mine, warning you about anything that might threaten the less expendable members of your group by being first to turn up in his tent with a knife sticking out of his neck.

Also, see if you can coerce the college slut to come with you.
Not only will she also act as a canary in a coal mine, but she's a canary that puts out! Chaste girls are not only a lot more boring, something about their intact lady bits makes them very difficult to kill.

Do you have that one guy in your group of friends who everyone hates, but who always hangs out with you anyway? Of course you do. If you don't, you're probably that friend and you don't even realize it. Tough break.

But if you're not that friend, you should make sure you bring him with you.
While these dickheads might be irritating, they can be a great source of comic relief. Plus, it'll sting a lot less when his blood gets sprayed all over the slutty girl's face.

To recap, that's one black dude, one asshole and as many slutty girls as you can fit in your shitty van. Click here for the rest of the tips.