Elusive male orgasm caught on film

From The Onion:

CAMBRIDGE, MA—Announcing "a major advance in the age-old quest to unlock the secrets at the heart of human sexuality," researchers at Harvard's Center For The Graphic Depiction Of The Human Sexual Act confirmed Monday that, with the aid of experimental new high-speed photographic technology, they have successfully captured the elusive male orgasm on film.

"The male animal is not a piece of meat," Roehnert explained. "He is a rose wrapped in a poem, yielding up his deepest, most intimate secrets only when just the right magical moment has been achieved. The alluring yet fragile petals of the delicate flower known as the male of the species can unfold and bloom only in the presence of the right combination of gentleness, tenderness and deep, abiding care."

"Using a painstaking process of trial and error, hundreds of situations were attempted," he said. "We tried everything: pool-cleaners arriving to find bikini-clad nubiles in the backyard, unsuspecting pizza-delivery drivers finding themselves at sorority pajama parties—you name it. Virtually every permutation of sensory stimuli you could imagine was exhaustively explored."

But in the end, Leslie said, only one scenario proved both orgasm-inducing and feasible to record: the direct ejaculation of the male member onto a corresponding female partner's face, with the woman's head positioned only inches away.

"For some reason," Leslie said, "no other set of circumstances produced the desired effect. Oh, and the woman has to have high-heeled shoes on, too, although she's otherwise undressed. We don't know why that is, either."

The scientists acknowledged that such riddles may never be fully unraveled. More here:

Yes -- it's a mystery alright.