It's those consarn hobos

From Ace:

Every Red Eye Episode...Evah!
—Jack M.
If you are like me (and, God willing, you aren't) you just can't get enough of the television experience that is "Red Eye w/ Greg Gutfeld". It's like stalking hobos for sexual release: you just can't stop after enjoying it once.

So, assuming you are like me, you worry that you might miss an episode! After all, with it's 2:00 AM EST time slot, and the ever changing seasonal migration of the homeless to the local Greyhound station, it is not always possible to stay up to watch it.

To allay this concern, I have consolidated a handy-dandy "transcript" of an episode that never actually aired so that, should you accidentally miss an episode, you can still get your "fake but accurate" fix. From the Gut's "Geraldo Rivera" like BOOMING VOICE to the incredible androgenous sexual tension between Bill and Greg and the incredible vapidity of D-list guests like Samantha Judge, all your favorite "Red Eye" moments are here.

I hope this provides you with as much comfort as it has provided me on those nights when the cable is out and the hobos are too fast.

Roll Credits.

Continue reading