Jack is tough

I haven't watched this show yet but I hear it's good.

Found this on Bits and Pieces:

Some people see the glass as half full. Others see it as half empty. Jack Bauer see the glass as a deadly weapon.

On Jack Bauer's Tax Returns, he has to claim the entire world as his dependents.

Chained to a chair, tortured, and with the threat of death hanging over him, Jack just wanted something to eat.

Jack Bauer never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction.

The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

When bad things happen to good people, its probably fate. When bad things happen to bad people, it’s probably Jack Bauer.

When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death.

There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. The first two are Jack Bauer, and the third one is heart attack from hearing Jack Bauer is coming for them.

Most people would need months to recover from 20 months of Chinese interrogation. Jack Bauer needs a shower, a shave and a change of clothes.

Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.

Withholding information from Jack Bauer is now classified as a suicide attempt.

When Jack Bauer ran out of ammo, he caught 3 bullets in his chest and used them to reload.

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12"

The 2007 budget for the US Military covers Jack Bauer, two pistols and four billion rounds of ammunition.

Jack Bauer definitely loves his daughter; he wouldn't let anyone else who made that many stupid decisions live.

Bauer is not word, it is a sentence...A death sentence.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's f#cking beef.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

The only reason Jack gave Nina mouth to mouth in Season 2 was because he had to kill her himself.

Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

...and on the seventh day Jack Bauer said, "I'll take it from here."

You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink.

Jack Bauer can get McDonald's breakfast after 10:30.

When the boogie man goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Jack Bauer.

Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "SMALLER THAN Jack Bauer".

In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell.

What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed.

People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer.

Sun Tzu once wrote, "If your enemy is weaker, conquer him. If he is stronger, join him. If he is Jack Bauer, you're fucking dead."

When Batman is in trouble, he turns on the Jack Bauer signal.

It took Jack Bauer two minutes to beat a confession out of OJ.

After 7 minutes of interrogation at the hands of Jack Bauer, Tom Cruise admitted that he was gay.

Jack Bauer was conceived by torturing the other sperm until they gave up the location of the egg.

Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.

Jack Bauer has killed more men than he has spoken to.

If the show was called "Bauer: Texas Ranger" the show would still be in production.

Nobody speaks while Jack Bauer speaks, which is why the entire world is silent for approximately 1 hour on Mondays.

50 million people can't be wrong...unless Jack Bauer says so.

Jack and Jill went up the hill. Only Jack came down. Jill was a fucking terrorist.

A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Minister walked into a bar... and Jack Bauer is going to find out why...