Good ol' mom & dad

From Small Bits and Pieces:

Bill Gates

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! To anyone with kids of any age, here's some advice. Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your
Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule: 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

If you agree, pass it on.
If you can read this - Thank a teacher!
If you are reading it in English - Thank a soldier.

Torch run or Hippie punch?

SAN FRANCISCO (AP) - The Olympic torch's round-the-world trip is the longest in Olympic history, and is meant to highlight China's rising economic and political power. But on the torch's sole North American stop, activists are also calling attention to the Olympic host's human rights record.

As runners carry the torch on its six-mile route Wednesday, they will compete not only with people protesting China's grip on Tibet and its support for the governments of Myanmar and Sudan, but also with more obscure activists. They include nudists calling for a return to the way the ancient Greek games were played.

LMAO -- What? Nudists in the bay area? What a shocker. Cracks me up though -- those nudies in the bay area will look for ANY excuse to get naked. And the Klown says "hey -- get naked -- who cares -- what's with trying to get on the news every five minutes -- just go naked, sheesh." They want to return to the way the ancient games were played -- I wonder if they'd support a stench-filled stadium from the holes they had to dig for 20,000 peeps to take a crap.

More here:

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From The Times
China’s blue-clad flame attendants, whose aggressive methods of safeguarding the Olympic torch have provoked international outcry, are paramilitary police from a force spun off from the country’s army. Gasp -- PARAMILITARY -- holy lib-beaters, Batman.

But the aggression with which the guards have been pursuing their brief has provoked anger, not least in London where they were seen wrestling protesters to the ground and were described as “thugs” by Lord Coe. Yes -- because if you lift a finger to stop an activist protester from extinguishing the torch, then you're a thug.

“They tried to punch me out of the way three times. They are horrible. They did not speak English . . . I think they were thugs.” Hey -- shitforbrains -- maybe if your crack-addicted mom had taught you to move your raggedy ass out of the way for important processions, you might not have had to be "punched out of the way." More here:

Well -- the Klown doesn't care about the Olympics -- I won't watch any of it -- unless I see a news clip. I don't even know anyone personally who cares about the Olympics. I do love the torch drama though -- and I hope a PARAMILITARY thug gets the chance to punch San Francisco lib -- so I can live vicariously through the thug. GO THUGS!!!!

We're HELPLESS say the cops

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - The Los Angeles police chief on Tuesday said a proposed new city law aimed at protecting celebrities from aggressive paparazzi would be ambiguous and impossible to enforce. Of course it is -- there is nothing that can be done -- we're come-ass-pletely helpless doofi, roaming the streets with guns ... but on THIS, we're flummoxed.

Chief William Bratton said in a report that existing laws on jaywalking, speeding and assault could be used to deter aggressive photographers, whose 'round-the-clock pursuit of singer Britney Spears and other celebrities prompted calls for a crackdown.

Sure -- exisiting laws will be fine -- cuz they've worked so well until now. More here:

The Chief and I agree on one thing -- they don't need a new law -- there are laws against harassing the absolute, everloving shit, out of people -- if you can't enforce exisiting laws then resign.

It reminds me of idiots in Congress -- making new laws to "crack down" on illegal immigration. Hey -- it's already illegal, jackasses -- just enforce the existing law.

Hey -- you know what they need? They need some more gun laws too ... bunch of brainless twits. It's one step away from "let's make a sign."

Guy yells at morons, gets in trouble

NEW YORK - A retired police officer who screamed obscenities at a train passenger who was talking on a cell phone and who hit the hand of another passenger who intervened was acquitted Tuesday of misdemeanor charges stemming from the confrontation.

John Clifford, who is also a lawyer, was found not guilty after a two-day nonjury trial at which he acted as his own attorney. He had been charged with misdemeanor counts of attempted assault, disorderly conduct, harassment and attempted petit larceny and had faced up to a year in jail if convicted.

Manhattan Criminal Court Judge Larry Stephen issued his verdict immediately after closing arguments: "I see no crimes having been committed beyond a reasonable doubt. The case is dismissed and sealed."

The 6-foot-4 Clifford acknowledged during trial that he was aggressive and overbearing when he approached Long Island Rail Road commuters he considered rude for talking too loudly on cell phones and for other behavior.

During trial, Clifford, 60, admitted cursing at Nicholas Bender, "a 19-year-old nitwit waking up one girlfriend after another," and slapping the hand of Lydia Klein after she slapped his when he reached for a business card she was handing Bender on the train from Long Beach to Manhattan's Pennsylvania Station on March 28, 2007.

Clifford, who retired as a police sergeant after 10 years on the job, said Tuesday he had been arrested eight times after being accused of throwing coffee, spewing expletives and getting in the faces of people whom he considered loud and rude on the commuter line. This was the only case that wasn't dismissed.

"It took a lawyer and an old ex-police sergeant to stand up to it (public rudeness)," Clifford, of Long Beach, said as he left court. He said that unless lawmakers and the Metropolitan Transportation Authority do something, the lack of public civility will persist.

Asked what he regretted about his behavior, Clifford replied, "Nothing."

Funny -- they can arrest this guy for yelling at morons and harass the crap out of him for months -- dragging him through the legal system -- filing depositions -- doing discovery -- but for the paparazzi, they're helpless. Keep yelling at idiots, Clifford -- the Klown is with you.

Dipshits say "oopsie daisy"

MEXICO CITY (Reuters) - The distillers of Sweden's Absolut vodka have withdrawn an advertisement run in Mexico that angered many U.S. citizens by idealizing an early 19th century map showing chunks of the United States as Mexican.

The billboard ad has the slogan "In an Absolut World" slapped over a pre-1848 map showing California, Arizona and other U.S. states as Mexican territory. Those states were carved out of what had been Mexican lands until that year.

"In no way was this meant to offend or disparage, nor does it advocate an altering of borders, nor does it lend support to any anti-American sentiment, nor does it reflect immigration issues," a spokeswoman wrote on Absolut's Web site. More here:

Yes -- they pull the ad and say "blah blah - you're taking it all wrong." LMAO. I'm surprised she didn't say "and the sky is green -- you're looking at it wrong."

The thing is -- Americans have been raised as libs for 3-4 generations -- and they have been taught that saying you're sorry is enough in any situation. For libs -- there is no possible scenario in which saying you're sorry doesn't fix everything.

To Absolut, the Klown says "too late" -- but keep hiring your Harvard boys.

New way to waste your money

Los Angeles considers global warming tax
The Orange County Register

To fight global warming, a bill in Sacramento would enable Los Angeles County transit officials to increase taxes on motorists. It's a bad idea that may foreshadow even worse to come.

Billed as a "climate change mitigation and adaptation fee," the measure would cost motorists either an additional 3 percent motor fuel tax, or up to a $90 annual flat fee, based on vehicle emissions. The new charges would be on top of taxes already paid at the pump. Either option requires a majority approval by a vote of the people.

Well -- Imagine this -- The Klown has some things to say.

1 - I TOLD YOU IT WAS COMING!

2 - Don't we already pay a massive tax to support the EPA?

3 - "The Globe" hasn't warmed any in a decade and signs point to a reversal -- you know -- a natural phase which is a function of the sun's activity etc. So will they remove the tax if the globe stops warming or cools? Have you EVER known a gd lib to remove a tax?

4 - This is why the libs have changed their little tune from "Global warming" to "Climate change." So once the taxes are in effect, if the globe cools, it's ok -- cuz they still need the money -- you know -- for climate change.

5 - A version of this tax is coming soon -- to a county/city near YOU.

6 - How many more cabinet-level positions is Barack or Hillary going to invent if they become presidink? Presidink Bush created the Dept of Homeland Security. What a bunch of bullshit. Hey -- jackasses -- the threat level is ORANGE.

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New taxes:

Accounts Receivable Tax
Building Permit Tax
CDL license Tax
Cigarette Tax
Corporate Income Tax
Do g License Tax
Excise Taxes
Federal Income Tax
Federal Unemployment Tax (FUTA)
Fishing License Tax
Food License Tax
Fuel Permit Tax
Gasoline Tax (42 cents per gallon)
Gross Receipts Tax
Hunting License Tax
Inheritance Tax
Inventory Tax
IRS Interest Charges IRS Penalties (tax on top of tax)
Liquor Tax
Luxury Taxes
Marriage License Tax
Medicare Tax
Personal Property Tax
Property Tax
Real Estate Tax
Service Charge Tax
Social Security Tax
Road Usage Tax
Sales Tax
Recreational Vehicle Tax
School Tax
State Income Tax
State Unemployment Tax (S U TA)
Telephone Federal Excise Tax
Telephone Federal Universal Service Fee Tax
Telephone Federal, State and Local Surcharge Taxes
Telephone Minimum Usage Surcharge Tax
Telephone Recurring and Nonrecurring Charges Tax
Telephone State and Local Tax
Telephone Usage Charge Tax
Utility Taxes
Vehicle License Registration Tax
Vehicle Sales Tax
Watercraft Registration Tax
&sp; Well Permit Tax
Workers Compensation Tax

STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?

Not one of these taxes existed 100 years ago, and our nation was the most prosperous in the world.

We had absolutely no national debt,

had the largest Middle class in the world,

and Mom stayed home to raise the Kids.

What happened????

The Klown is almost back

I -- uh -- lost all my email addresses during this fiasco.

Please send me an email that I may rebuild my address book.

Hurry up -- TY.

Will probably be a few days yet before I get up to speed.

"Local" Monday Morning Happiness

Was inspired by the Klown's local posting of the Friday Pins so I thought it would be nice to return the favor to the ladies. No, Jules I did not take this picture through your bedroom window!!!

Socks or Nuts seeable?

We're experiencing technical difficulties...

Our favorite blog will return soon. Please refrain from posting men with squirrels in their underwear.

Genius lefties at the Smithsonian

ALLEGAN, Mich. - Is fifth-grader Kenton Stufflebeam smarter than the Smithsonian? On a winter break trip with his family to the Smithsonian Institution's National Museum of Natural History, the 11-year-old southwestern Michigan boy noticed that a notation, in bold lettering, mistakenly identified the Precambrian as an era.

Since it opened in 1981, millions of people have paraded past the museum's Tower of Time, a display involving prehistoric time. Kenton was the first to point out the error.

Kenton, who lives in Allegan but attends Alamo Elementary School near Kalamazoo, said his fifth-grade teacher, John Chapman, had nearly made the same mistake about the Precambrian in a classroom earth-science lesson before catching himself.

"I knew Mr. Chapman wouldn't tell all these students" bad information, the boy told the Kalamazoo Gazette for a story published Wednesday.

So Kevin Stufflebeam took his son to the museum's information desk to report Kenton's concern on a comment form.

Last week, the boy received a letter from the museum acknowledging that his observation was "spot on."

"The Precambrian is a dimensionless unit of time, which embraces all the time between the origin of Earth and the beginning of the Cambrian Period of geologic time," the letter says.

The solution to the problem would not involve advanced science but rather simply painting over the word "era," the note says.

While no previous visitors to the museum had brought up the error, it has long rankled the paleobiology department's staff, who noticed it even before the Tower of Time was erected 27 years ago, said Lorraine Ramsdell, educational technician for the museum.

"The question is, why was it put up with that on it in the first place?" Ramsdell said.

Excited as Stufflebeam was to receive the correspondence from museum officials, he couldn't help but point out that it was addressed to Kenton Slufflebeam.

In Allegany.

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4.5 billion years ago, the Earth was born. Comprehending that vastness in time is no easy task. John McPhee, in his book Basin and Range, recounts a nice illustration of what this sort of time means. Stand with your arms held out to each side and let the extent of the earth's history be represented by the distance from the tips of your fingers on your left hand to the tips of the fingers on your right. Now, if someone were to run a file across the fingernail of your right middle finger, then the time that humans have been on the earth would be erased.

Ok -- now you know the difference between an Eon, an Era, a Period, and an Epoch. I always like to send you hoppage away a little smarter than you were when you got here.

My dad used to threaten to beat me for an eon -- unless the cows came home first.

The Klown declares a preemptive strike

MODEL Naomi Campbell is facing a ban from flying with British Airways.

Crazed Naomi yesterday flew into a rage over ONE lost bag — after 20,000 pieces of luggage went missing at Heathrow’s trouble-hit Terminal 5.

The model, 37, allegedly SPAT at a cop who was called to calm her down — then laid into him with her FISTS.

She was arrested on the spot for assaulting an officer, then restrained after a struggle and hauled kicking and screaming off the plane in handcuffs. More here:

Isn't this the dumb snatch who keeps throwing her cell phone at peeps and wildly attacking on the most flimsy grounds imaginable?

Well -- fair warning -- I'm scared of her and if you're ever with the Klown and she is spotted -- duck -- cuz I'm taking her ass out -- before she makes me breathe hard -- capisce?

Oh well -- Absolut sucks anyway

From LaTimesBlogs:

Mexico reconquers California? Absolut drinks to that!

The latest advertising campaign in Mexico from Swedish vodka maker Absolut promises to push all the right buttons south of the U.S. border, but it could ruffle a few feathers in El Norte.

The billboard and press campaign, created by advertising agency Teran\TBWA and now running in Mexico, is a colorful map depicting what the Americas might look like in an "Absolut" -- i.e., perfect -- world.

The U.S.-Mexico border lies where it was before the Mexican-American war of 1848 when California, as we now know it, was Mexican territory and known as Alta California.

Following the war, the Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo saw the Mexican territories of Alta California and Santa Fé de Nuevo México ceded to the United States to become modern-day California, Texas, New Mexico, Utah, Colorado and Arizona. (Texas actually split from Mexico several years earlier to form a breakaway republic, and was voluntarily annexed by the United States in 1846.)

The campaign taps into the national pride of Mexicans, according to Favio Ucedo, creative director of leading Latino advertising agency Grupo Gallegos in the U.S.

Ucedo, who is from Argentina, said: “Mexicans talk about how the Americans stole their land, so this is their way of reclaiming it. It’s very relevant and the Mexicans will love the idea.” More here:

So - when you see your friends drinking Absolut - let them know about this little ad - or email this post.

Cool Japanese bar codes

More cool Japanese bar codes here:

2008 Campaign pins

This pretty much figures - with egos etc

WASHINGTON (AP) - Sen. John McCain travels the campaign trail without Secret Service protection although he is the Republican Party's likely presidential nominee, the agency's director told Congress on Thursday.

Secret Service Director Mark Sullivan told a House Appropriations subcommittee that the Arizona senator has not requested his agency's services.

"Statutorily, he is not required to take protection," Sullivan said when asked about McCain's security during a hearing on the agency's budget. "As far as an actual request, we have not gotten one. We have no involvement at this point."

A request from McCain seems unlikely anytime soon, however.

The two-time presidential candidate has said he does not want Secret Service protection, fearing it would interfere with his brand of intimate campaigning among voters. McCain also has said he'll try to last as long as he can without it.

"I've never done it. After we won New Hampshire in 2000, they really tried to get us, but we said no," McCain said last November while campaigning in Concord, N.H. "It's an invasion of your ability to have contact with voters."

That contrasts with his Democratic rivals. ("Democratic" -- not "Democrat" -- lmao -- you know -- cuz every Jethro with a big cereal bowl likes to think of themselves as "democratic.")

Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton travels with Secret Service agents due to her status as a former first lady, and Sen. Barack Obama requested and began receiving protection last year.

UPDATE:

MEMPHIS (AP) - Sen. John McCain intends to meet with Secret Service officials in the next several days in preparation for accepting security protection for the final several months of his White House bid.

McCain plans to meet with the Secret Service next week, he said in an interview for broadcast Sunday on Fox News.

"I think that it's important as we get more and more visibility, that we recognize the inevitable," McCain said. "And so we will be talking with them early to arrange for, very soon, some Secret Service protection."

This is a stickup - Hand over your gas

1st Yummy local pins pic

Who is it -- Who is it? Hmmmm?
Hints for locals:

Always loads of fun

Loves camping

Good bowler

Good golfer

Loves Cornhole - HAHAHA

Obama "Loses cool"

ABC News' Sunlen Miller Reports: He's been running for president for 13 months and Sen. Barack Obama, D-Ill., may be showing some of the wear and tear of the campaign trail. Hmmm -- showing wear and tear -- I see.

One particularly aggressive person -- who, according to the campaign, may be a professional autograph seeker/seller who needed 'proof' that he actually been with the candidate in order to sell the Senator's autograph(s) online -- seemed to fray Obama's nerves as the Senator made an unadvertised stop an Italian market in Philly on Wednesday. Hmmm - Frayed his nerves.

Watch the VIDEO HERE

In three separate acts -- perhaps entitled "The Irritation of Obama" -- the normally calm and collected candidate grew increasingly agitated: Hmmm -- agitated.

Run in #1:
Outside the first shop, on the way in
Man: "Senator, can I have a quick picture with you?"
(Obama has his arm on the guys arm in a very nice way, like he does when he shakes a hand but refuses to take a picture and walks away)
Man: "It will take you two seconds. Don't cram me, I'm not doing anything to anybody. Jesus."

Run in #2:
After the first shop
Man: "Senator, can I get a picture with you?"
Obama: (slightly annoyed) "You are wearing me out brother."
Man: "I got one with Hillary Clinton, and I got one with McCain. Come on Senator, that's not right."

Run in #3:
In the street
Man: "Senator, can I please, a quick one?"
Obama: (very annoyed) "No, you know what, no."
Man: "Can I just say something to you real fast?"
Obama: "Yea, you can."
Man: "I had one with Hillary Clinton and I had one with Senator McCain."
Obama: "I am sure you do. Because when I was trying to talk to some kids –- and, I know, look...
Man: "No, my wife is a school teacher and she was there. She had to go back and that wasn't right. What, won't you just take a picture with me? I'm not asking you for a autograph; it's for my family.
Obama: "Yeah, well, whatever. Just take it. I won't be smiling. Because you're wearing me out. . . No no, you've been really rude about it. Just take a shot."

Obama and the man did not take a shot. The man was still arguing with the Senator when Secret Service stepped in (non confrontationally) to provide the denouement.

Secret Service: (putting a hand between Obama and the man) "That's it."
Man: "No, I'm good. All I want is a picture. That's it."

Yes -- When an American does it, after SEVERAL attempts to be nice, it's wear and tear, frayed nerves, agitated, losing his cool. And yet, when a European does it, with ZERO attempts to be nice, well, I guess that's just funny/quirky -- cuz -- it's what the guy gets, right?

The Klown thinks these candidates should "lose their cool" a lot more often -- you know -- call a jackass a jackass.

For those of you with amnesia -- here's how a European (with a brain) deals with a jackass.

PARIS (Reuters) - A video of French President Nicolas Sarkozy telling a bystander to “get lost, dumbass” has become a hit on the Internet.

Sarkozy was filmed by a journalist from the daily Le Parisien on a walkabout at the annual farm fair in Paris on Saturday.

Sarkozy offered his hand to a man who said: “Don’t touch me, you are soiling me.” In reply, Sarkozy said, without dropping his smile: “Get lost, dumb ass.” Video here:

Heh -- I love it. I guess, from what the media says, in order to "keep your cool," you can't be seen calling a jackass a jackass. See -- I feel just the opposite -- letting jackasses walk all over you is not a quality I look for in politicians -- maybe it's just me.

Still though -- the most amazing thing about this post is -- AN OBJECTIVE JOURRRRNALIST IMPLIED A DEMOCRAT MAY HAVE A TINY CHINK IN THE ARMOR!!!!!

This is a police-state CLAMPDOWN

In Chicago, Youth Violence Prompts Clampdown
22 Students Slain So Far This Year; City's Public Schools Get Security Cameras and Extra Police
By Kari Lydersen
Washington Post Staff Writer

CHICAGO -- Chavez Clarke, 18, had spent this past Saturday taking catch-up classes so he could graduate on time. As he left a South Side high school that afternoon, he was fatally shot, in broad daylight and in plain view of other students. His death marked a grim end to a week when police and school officials had stepped up their efforts to combat a spike in killings of public school students.

The day before, an eighth-grader at a North Side school was shot and killed.

In all, 20 Chicago public school students have been fatally shot so far this school year -- seven in March alone -- compared with 24 the year before, said spokesman Mike Vaughn. Including those who died in non-gun violence, 22 students have been killed this year, and 30 last school year. School officials could not provide precise figures, but said that killings had increased markedly over past years. More here:

So -- zero discipline in the schools and homes has nothing to do with this INCREASE of violence -- interesting -- cuz that was my first inclination -- then what could it be? WAIT -- I got it -- GUNS. GUNS ARE THE PROBLEM -- oh -- AND KNIVES -- AND FISTS -- AND BASEBALL BATS -- WE'VE GOTTA BAN THIS STUFF.

And I love how the jourrrrrnalist calls it a "CLAMPDOWN." She could have said "measured and prudent response" but that's prolly too many words -- plus -- it doesn't conjur up images of a fascist police state. Here's a tasty tidbit from a jourrrrnalist somewhere.

Police-State Repression From Seattle to D.C.

Demonstrator pushed to the ground after climbing atop police armored personnel carrier in Seattle.

OMG -- they pushed him to the ground -- and LO', they used a stick -- Help, help -- They're repressing him -- you all saw it -- FASCISTS.

Oh, it's a sad day when American citizens can't jump on police APC's at will -- and break windows -- and disrupt other law-abiding citizens -- and say Nee, and just wreak general havoc -- in front of old women and children.

I think jourrrrnalists get a huge kick out of implying that our Democracy is really a police state and then, in the next breath, demanding the state take our guns away. There would be ONE satisfying thing about living in a REAL police state though -- watching former objective jourrrrnalists scrubbing the underneath of urinals.