Fuck Yasser Arafat

From LGF:

Palestinian Authority officials on Monday expressed deep disappointment after learning that US President George W. Bush, who is expected to visit Ramallah soon, does not intend to lay a wreath at Yasser Arafat’s tomb. ...

Bush would not stop by Arafat’s newly-built mausoleum during his visit to Ramallah, a source in the US Consulate in Jerusalem told The Jerusalem Post. The PA has invested millions of dollars in building the mausoleum in the Mukata “presidential” compound.

“I’m not aware of any plan to lay a wreath at Arafat’s tomb,” the source said. “This issue was not raised during preparations for President Bush’s tour and I doubt if he would do so.”

To avoid embarrassing the Palestinians, Bush may meet with PA President Mahmoud Abbas in Bethlehem or at the Prime Minister’s Office in Ramallah.

In response, a senior PA official said, “Of course we are very disappointed, although we weren’t surprised.” The official said the PA leadership had decided not to make a big issue out of the visit to Arafat’s mausoleum to avoid creating a crisis with the US.

Almost all foreign leaders who visit the Mukata stop by Arafat’s tomb to pay respects or lay a wreath on it.

Uh -- that jackass was a terrorist -- mmm Kay? That mausoleum will come down like statues of Lenin one day.

Gaaa -- The Klown agrees with Air America

From Newsbusters:

Air America Host Cheers Teen-Mauling Tiger, Steve Irwin's Death
By Tim Graham January 4, 2008 - 06:46 ET

The talk-radio host known simply as "Lionel" joined the Air America team in May, and he has demonstrated he belongs on the exotic fringe with the rest of the network. Most people don’t take sides when a zoo tiger mauls a teenager to death. "Lionel" favored the tiger.

His blog declared: "If you shoot a tiger with a sling-shot, you deserve to get mauled. That’s just how it works." The New York Post reported several teenagers that were victimized by the tiger had slingshots, but that has not been confirmed by San Francisco zoo officials. On his show Wednesday, "Lionel" was even more explicit:

Call me wacky, but hurray for the tiger that killed the kid who was...taunting him. Now, I know this is not right...but let's hear it for the wild...I loathe zoos. I'm still cheering the fact that some stingray whacked that Aussie pain-in-the-ass Steve Irwin.

Except -- The Klown likes zoos.

Idiot liberal judge

From Newsbusters:
By Ken Shepherd January 4, 2008 - 09:59 ET

It's bound to be overlooked by the media at-large in large part due to the Iowa caucuses, but a court ruling that burdens the U.S. Navy with yet another environmentally-driven restriction was handed down from a federal district court judge yesterday. That judge, the Hon. Florence-Marie Cooper, is a Clinton appointee, a fact unreported by the Seattle Post-Intelligencer's Robert McClure (emphasis mine):

A federal judge forbade the Navy on Thursday from using a powerful form of sonar within 12 miles of the California coast and slapped other restrictions on naval war exercises in a ruling that could have repercussions in the Pacific Northwest.

U.S. District Judge Florence Marie-Cooper [sic] said noise from the Navy's midfrequency sonar far outstrips levels at which federal rules require ear protection for humans on the job. Whales' hearing is extremely sensitive.

"The court is persuaded that the (protection) scheme proposed by the Navy is grossly inadequate to protect marine mammals from debilitating levels of sonar exposure," Marie-Cooper wrote in her ruling.

The Navy offered to reduce the sonar's intensity when whales approached within about 1,100 yards and power down further before shutting the sonar off when the creatures got within 200 yards. The judge ordered sonar shut off when marine mammals are within 2,200 yards.

OK -- how do I put this --- how about "FUCK NO, YOU DUMBASS."

If the whales don't like it, move the fuck out of the way. -- SWIM AWAY!!!

What next -- if the cops are catching criminals and a spotted owl flies in, they have to stop shooting and walk quietly?

Something tells me this "whale" bullshit is going to cost money, my friends, lots and lots of money.

GD I hate idiot libs.

Are psychics for real ??

Found it at J-Walk:

James Randi's Million-Dollar Challenge is coming to an end.

For the last 10 years, these guys have been offering a million bux to anyone who can prove they have psychic ability. So far -- they haven't had to pay.

It was March 6th, 1998, when the JREF Million-Dollar Challenge first came into existence. That's almost ten years ago. It's always been a simple, direct, matter: do what you claim you can do of a paranormal nature, and walk away with the prize. Our expectations at first were that we'd attract major personalities by this means, but they've avoided having to take the test by simply not applying; those who have actually applied are generally honestly self-deluded persons who have difficulty stating what they can do, which can be understood if they really don't know what they're experiencing; we at JREF have gone through involved procedures to help them recognize their problems. Usually, they have indicated that they don't know what real scientific rules are, when it comes down to their actually being properly tested.

All this is obvious to anyone who has followed the action over the last decade. Now, while the JREF earns a certain income from having the prize money very conservatively invested, that sum could certainly be used more productively if it were made freely available to us.

The James Randi Educational Foundation Million-Dollar Challenge will be discontinued 24 months from this coming March 6th, and those prize funds will then be available to generally add to our flexibility. This move will free us to do many more projects, which will be announced at that time.

Uh -- so -- the answer appears to be "NO."

How much of a jackass hippie are you?

Found it at J-Walk :

You are 2% hippie.

Ok, you conservative soul. Do you even believe in global warming? Loosen that necktie a little, and try some organic food. It actually does taste better. And go to a farmer's market--they're fun.

Are you a hippie?
Quizzes for MySpace

Ha Ha -- they're killin' the Klown

From The Onion:

Red-Lace Nightie Portends Another Excruciating Night For Closeted Husband

CLARKSTON, GA—A red-lace nightgown, barely covering area resident Amanda Yetter's body, sent waves of dread through husband and closeted homosexual Eric Yetter Friday.

"I was coming home late from a long, tiring day at the office, and Amanda met me at the door wearing that red thing," said Yetter, 36, referring to the size-large, satin-trimmed, babydoll-style nightgown with matching ruffled thong bikini Amanda recently purchased at Victoria's Secret. "I immediately thought, 'Oh, God, here we go again.'"

Yetter, who has yet to admit his homosexual desires to himself, much less his wife, returned home at 10 p.m. expecting Amanda to be asleep.

"When I pulled in the driveway, all the lights were all off, so I figured I'd be able to just relax and watch some TV," Yetter said. "But as it turned out, Amanda was waiting for me with the whole house lit up with candles and vanilla incense."

Upon seeing his wife in the nightie, Yetter feared that the situation would lead to intercourse, which until that point he had managed to avoid for a record seven weeks. Panicked, he began searching for an excuse. More here:

Seriously -- this gets funnier as it goes -- I found myself laughing out loud. It could have been the sour-apple vodka -- but still.

I have to get something like this now

Got this in e-mail from Wombat

If Mr. and Mrs. Newton could see the future, they never would have named their son Paul Wilkins Napleton.

Joint tugged by a fat girl

From The Onion

Yee-Haw! My Vote Cancels Out Y'all's!

By Duane Bickels

Well, damn, man, it's pretty soon gonna be president election time again, and that means we gotta start thinkin' about who's gonna be the one we want to be president. That's some important stuff, who's president, because whoever's president will be in charge of the whole dang shootin' match. And, if y'all are like me, you know America's president needs to be the kind of old boy who, in the first place, kicks him some damn ass, and in the second place, don't listen to all that bitchin' about how he shouldn't be kickin' so much ass. And, if you ain't like me, guess what? My vote cancels out y'all's!

Now, you probably waste a whole lotta good-fishin' Saturdays readin' yourself the papers, watchin' all the talk on the TV, and sittin' around thinkin' real hard about which way you gonna vote. Well, it's a real shame, then, ain't it, that all that time you spend in real careful considerin' don't count for nothin', once my vote runs y'all's right off the road.

Shoot, neighbor, if there's one type'a guy you don't want in charge, it's some damn weaklin' in the White House what won't kick enough ass. Bush, that guy we got now, he kicked him some ass in that old desert. And Bush's daddy? He kicked him some ass, too. Reagan? Kicked all the ass he could, and some they said he shouldn't! But Clinton? Barely no ass-kickin' at all. Just got his ol' joint tugged by a fat girl, and hell, I could do that down by the Dew Drop Inn off I-78. What's the damn use of bein' the Commander-Chief if that's all you're gonna do? Face it, bein' president is a job of work for ass-kickers, and if you say otherwise, hell, I got a vote here what totally negates yours. More here:

WTF?

From Bits and Pieces:

Yeoww - how embarrasking

Less than a minute

Ballsy Cab Driver

From Bits and Pieces:

A gorgeous woman gets into a taxi. She says, "To the airport, please."

After a few minutes, the taxi driver, watching the woman in the mirror, says, "You're third pregnant woman I've driven to the airport today."

The woman, indignant, says, "You must be kidding. I'm not pregnant."

The taxi driver says, "Well, you haven't arrived at the airport yet, either."

I Shall Rule From Exile

Ex-Anderson Mayor To 'Rule From Exile' Pending Dispute
Lawsuit Questioning Election Winner's Residency Sent To High Court

ANDERSON, Ind. -- Though a new Anderson mayor has been inaugurated, the man he replaced says he's not officially acknowledging the change, citing a lawsuit questioning the election winner's residency.

Ex-Mayor Kevin Smith on Tuesday issued a statement contending it is his constitutional duty to keep claiming the office until the lawsuit -- which alleges new Mayor Kris Ockomon wasn't an Anderson resident for a required period before the election -- is adjudicated.

On Wednesday morning, a judge sent the lawsuit to the Indiana Supreme Court, asking it to appoint a special judge to the case.

Ockomon, who was sworn in Tuesday, has assumed the mayor's duties and has moved into the mayor's official office. But Smith says he'll still claim the title of mayor until the lawsuit is resolved.

"Given the obvious potential for a vacancy in the office of mayor, I am ... announcing that I have not and will not be surrendering the office of mayor pending a determination by the courts," Smith said in the statement.

The plaintiffs' attorney, Mark Regnier, said Smith intends to "rule from exile" but not "interfere with city business." More here:

Rule from exile -- lmao. Was "Rule from exile" on the ballot? The Klown is starting to figure it out -- there are many ... MANY ... people, who do not understand the phrase "and don't come back, jackass."

New pins feature

I've seen other blogs do theme-like (regular/recurring) feature items -- some do blonde jokes, some put up banjo items or bacon items etc.

I have decided to do pins pics (at least for a while.) I like it already and don't know what took me so long to do it. Jennifer Anniston has some nice 'uns.

Nation braces for 2012 elections

From The Spoof:

With the 2008 caucus season coming to a close, Iowans paused to take stock before gearing up for the 2012 season.

'It's been a long, hard 4 year roller-coaster ride since 2004, but we are confident we can keep up the momentum and transition into the next election cycle without missing a beat.' said Ralph Fendless.

Responding to perceptions that the public seems to be growing tired of the current caucus and election cycle before it even begins, Fendless said 'Look, this is not about what the public wants. This in an industry all to itself. People's livelihoods depend upon nonstop campaigning. Just think what would happen to the economy if the billions of dollars we throw away on elections was not spent on people making promises they have no intention of keeping?'

Speculation is already beginning regarding the frontrunners in the 2012 caucus. Polls taken at random from random sources randomly indicate clear expectations that the 2 frontrunners will be Democrats and Republicans, but the margin of error at this point cannot pick a clear leader. Fundraising projections point to a rebound from the 2008 campaign financing season which saw no increase in campaign spending due to oil prices, the subprime rate crisis and the government's squandering of the public's resources on whatever will perpetuate itself.

Fendless said, 'It never ends and the public had just better get over it. As long as rich folks want to throw money at politicians in return for political favors the public interest doesn't matter.'

I heard some peeps missed this one

More unbiased media

All liberals are great -- conservatives? -- not so much. This must be true -- because, as we all know, the media is totally objective and unbiased.

Letterman's back

Yes -- well -- I'm never up late enough to watch Dave -- and he's a huge commie -- but he can be funny. Looks like he found work as a cattle-drive cook while the writer's strike was going on -- at least, that's what he said.

MRC Annual Awards

The Best Notable Quotables of 2008
The 21st Annual Awards for the Year's Worst Reporting

Welcome to the Media Research Center’s annual awards issue, a compilation of the most outrageous and/or humorous news media quotes from 2008 (December 2007 through November 2008). To determine this year’s winners, a panel of 44 radio talk show hosts, magazine editors, columnists, editorial writers, and media observers each selected their choices for the first, second and third best quote from a slate of five to eight quotes in each category.



This slobbering fucktard objective journalist was the winner overall but there was plenty of competition. You can find the runners up here.

Finally -- some criminals I can understand

From NTDWA:

Busted thieves dip into home owner's booze

Two alleged house thieves who knew they were busted decided they might as well enjoy themselves after a botched robbery over the weekend.

On Saturday night, police in Kitchener, Ontario, were called to a break-in at a townhouse. At the back of the home, officers say they spotted a stepladder leading to a broken window.

As the thieves started walking out the front of the house, they were confronted by one of the officers. Police say the men then sprinted back inside and slammed the door.

Surrounded and with a trip to jail looking inevitable, police say the two men decided to help themselves to the home owner's liquor.

Staff Sergeant Kevin Thaler says they started drinking when they saw they were trapped and "were pretty inebriated by time we got them out."

The two men, aged 53 and 48, are facing charges.

Yes -- but you broke into a person's house -- so you need more punishment than just jail. Perhaps, if this were your second offense, we could knock the top row of your teeth out -- one by one -- with a hammer -- and you would learn a lesson. Or, if t'was your third -- maybe we strap you into a seat behind a runway and then tie the base of your tongue with 100lb test fishing line -- and then hook that up to a departing jet -- you know -- A DETERRENT -- not just jail where I'm paying for your upkeep every fucking day.

But see -- something just tells me this isn't the first, second, or third time these jackasses have been caught stealing. I don't think you wake up at 53 years old and decide to start breaking into houses.

Stinking piece of shit kills dog

From NTDWA:

Man leaps from bridge along with police dog

A man being chased by authorities grabbed a police dog and leaped off a bridge, taking the animal with him into the cold San Diego Bay 200 feet below.

The dog died after the fall from the San Diego-Coronado Bridge, but the fugitive survived and was in serious condition Tuesday with a collapsed lung.

The 27-year-old man will be charged with causing the dog's death, driving under the influence and evading police, authorities said.

The pursuit began Monday evening after an Oceanside police officer saw the man driving a pickup erratically. The officer, accompanied by a 6-year-old Belgian Malinois named Stryker, ordered the driver to stop, but he refused, officials said.

The dog actually took the driver to the ground, and then he actually lifted the dog up and jumped over the side," said California Highway Patrol Sgt. Steven Toth.

The man led police on a chase on Interstate 5 and onto the bridge, where he stopped and the officer released the dog.

And I wonder how this officer managed to keep from beating this asshole into a fine puree when they caught him. Prolly cuz the cop didna catch him -- he was prolly caught/rescued by cops on boats.

How can we stop piece of shit criminals from behaving in this manner. If only there were a way.