Oh lord, the worst of all possible worlds

An elderly man suffered a massive heart attack. The family drove wildly to get him to the emergency room.

After what seemed like a very long wait, the ER doctor appeared wearing his scrubs and a long face.

Sadly, he said, "I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still beating."

"Oh, Dear God," cried his wife, her hands clasped against her cheeks with shock.

"We’ve never had a Democrat in the family before." 

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My friend Kevin sent me this in email.

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Kelly's Always Thinking Ahead

Courtesy of Beaner.

Tuesday Taste of the "Town"

GRAVY “A SOUTHERN EATERY”
NEAR CALABASH, NC

FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
It’s basically a big barn-looking building. Very quiet when we were there, decorated oddly (if it were nicer I'd say eclectic). It was very clean. Tall people abounded, for some reason.

SERVICE:
Excellent. She answered all questions and was helpful when we needed her.

CHEESEBURGER & FRIES:
EK had heard stories of a burger “as big as a hubcap”, so this was the place for him. Apparently this item is not on their "new" menu, but if you ask for “the Beach burger” they will make it. We were informed that all burgers would be cooked well-done, but EK said “if it’s undercooked, it won't hurt my feelings.” That request fell on deaf ears (thank you government nannies!). The burger arrived, and it was quite large – it required two slices of cheese to cover it. A bit dry looking, but EK called it a big winner, nice flavor, and lots of good-looking fries. I’d say B+

OTHER FOOD:
I had “the” liver and onions. Yeah – I know – who eats that stuff? I do – and it was outstanding – tender and not overcooked, and a great pile of sautéed onions, with a side of corn and potato salad (both not homemade, and mediocre). Iron is good for you, you know.

OVERALL EXPERIENCE:
It’s an odd place – but I liked it. Cash only - no credit cards. Given the right circumstances I’d go back – not fine dining by any stretch, but good food at a very fair price.

WTF? EVENT:
This place has been a fixture for years – and it was always called “The Beach Diner”. Now the same owners decided it would be a smart idea to change the name to “Gravy – A Southern Eatery”. It’s Calabash you geniuses – that sort of rubric will scare away even your regular customers!

Yep, global warming -- Brrrrrrr

BERLIN, Nov 16 (Reuters) - Climate change could lead to colder winters in northern regions, according to a study by the Potsdam Institute for Climate Impact Research on Tuesday.

Vladimir Petoukhov, lead author of the study, said a shrinking of sea ice in the eastern Arctic causes some regional warming of lower air levels and may lead to anomalies in atmospheric airstreams, triggering an overall cooling of the northern continents.

"These anomalies could triple the probability of cold winter extremes in Europe and northern Asia," he said. "Recent severe winters like last year's or the one of 2005/06 do not conflict with the global warming picture but rather supplement it."

More here:

Yes, surely you can see how this is true.  The clothes on the emperor are mighty fine ... mighty fine, indeed.  You see them, don't you?

Note to self: Helicopters = A bit drafty

Tourette's karaoke

This guy with Tourette's does karaoke.  He posted some ..."Fuck off" ... videos here:

"It's a Great Conversation Piece"

I cartoonized these babes

Make yer own here:

JimBob?

Strange requests

I want to hate this ... but I like it instead

ooops

much screaming and running

Government schools - full of communist geniuses

Found the pic at Drudge

DENAIR - 13-year-old Cody Alicea rides with an American flag on the back of his bike. He says he does this to be patriotic and to honor veterans, like his own grandfather, Robert. He's had the flag on his bike for two months but Monday, was asked told to take it down. A school official at Denair Middle School told Cody some students had been complaining about the flag and it was no longer allowed on school property.

More here:

Hey, I'll give you one guess what state it's in.  Yes, good guess.

I think it's FAR past time  to fire some "school officials,"  don't you?  Well, good luck with that.  You won't be getting rid of incompetent boobs.  Instead you'll be paying them very well for doing idiotic crap like this on a daily basis.  Gee, why can't kids read and write?

Want to call or write them to let you know what you think of them?

Denair Middle School

3460 Lester Rd.
Denair, CA 95316

PHONE: (209) 632-2510
FAX: (209) 634-0269

fri pins

Now that the puzzle has been solved, I can post a pic I found while "researching".

Not quite as cool or mind-bending as A is A's but still pretty impressive.

Now, if they could just figure out some way to prevent all the energy going skyward instead of sideways, they could probably get these things to do some real damage.

What Is This?

Hint:

It's 1 millisecond old.

Tuesday Taste of the "Town"

ANGELO’S BRICK OVEN PIZZA
SHALLOTTE, NC


FIRST IMPRESSIONS:
Another pizza joint in a strip mall. Clean inside, with a very large brick oven and visible kitchen. It smelled very good.

SERVICE:
The service was fine, attentive but not overbearing. It’s pizza – how much can they do?

THE PIZZA:
We ordered a large with bacon, mushrooms, and onions. Why the departure from the “control pizza” of pepperoni & mushrooms? I’ll tell you that later. It arrived medium hot, and was decent looking, but I knew immediately that the dearth of cheese was going to be its downfall. Indeed, it was. The sauce was flavorless, but the crust was actually pretty good, thin and crispy (I’m going to credit the oven). Toppings were good (maybe too much bacon), but the mushrooms were fresh! I give it a C-.


OVERALL EXPERIENCE:
I’m not a big fan – I probably won’t go back. The price was fair, but there were 3 of us there and we didn’t finish the pie – ‘cause it just wasn’t that good.

WTF? EVENT :
We ordered our pizza sans pepperoni, as our frequent fellow diner “doesn’t like pepperoni”. Huh?!? Who doesn’t like pepperoni? But EK is a tolerant fellow and allowed the substitutions. And as an aside – what school has a manatee for their mascot? We love you, fellow dining lady!

One argument against using waterproof paint for your ceiling.

The story is that there was a flood upstairs and that the ceiling paint is now holding its fair share of the runoff. I'd be putting down the camera and figuring out some way of doing a controlled drain thus avoiding a messy deluge of unwelcome moisture on my dry stuff occupying the first floor.

Three more photos at theChive.

I'd watch more football if they did more of this.