Thursday, April 23, 2009

Teacher sends boy, 5, home with bag of poo



YAKIMA, Wash. -- A 5-year-old student at Apple Valley Elementary in Yakima headed home on the bus with more than books in his backpack. Inside was a smelly package his father never imagined he'd be toting around.
"I'm still kind of in shock over this, because why would somebody do this? It's disgusting!" said the boy's father, who wished to be identified only as "Jason."
Jason says his son's kindergarten teacher had bagged up a piece of human feces and stuck it in his son's backpack. His wife found the stinky mess.
"She found a clear plastic bag with a piece of fecal matter wrapped up in a brown paper towel with the note on it," he said.
The note read, "This little turd was on the floor in my room."
Jason says his son's teacher, Mrs. Graham, called last Friday and said her classroom was "stinky." She asked if the boy could have had an accident.
Jason acknowledged the possibility, as his son had had a couple of accidents in the classroom in the past. He told Mrs. Graham there were extra clothes in his backpack.
Jason never imagined the teacher would send his son home with evidence of his accident.
After his wife found the bagged mess, Jason e-mailed school officials. Days later, he received a response apologizing for the delay in dealing with the issue. On Tuesday, he was still waiting for a chance to speak to school officials about the incident.
"What would have happened if it had stayed in there and she hadn't checked the bag? And other kids were playing on the bus and it got out? And it's a very hazardous thing. It's disgusting!"
The school's superintendent said the boy's teacher and the school principal are being questioned. School officials said they'll meet with Jason and his wife next week.
In the meantime, Jason wants his son placed in a different teacher's classroom for the remainder of the school year.


A harzardous thing? Disgusting? Got out on the bus? What was the "POO" going to do? Jump out by itself! Guess the parents think it is less of a hazard to allow the entire group of children in the classroom to be around their sons "POO". Maybe Jason and his wife should be potty training their kid before sending him into a public school. Apparently they knew their son was a habitual "shitter" in the classroom if they were sending extra clothes in his backpack. I say right on to the teacher for sharing what the other students must go through every time this kid craps in class. Maybe the next time a teacher calls you lazy parents about the "POO" problem, you won't bury your head and hope you don't have to deal with it!

CNN gets McHAMMERED by lady

CNN has always been left-wing, but as it sinks into irrelevance as cable's second-string Democrat Party propaganda outlet, it is truly getting ugly, even by liberal standards. Between Susan Roesgen's pugnacious baiting of Tea Partiers and the absurd Anderson Cooper's vile "teabagging" jokes, the Communist News Network is certainly out of the running as a news source any mature individual would take seriously.

Normal Americans have had enough. As the ratings demonstrate, this eloquent letter to CNN execs Ken Jautz (ken.jautz@cnn.com) and Phil Kent (phil.kent@turner.com) from Donna S speaks for many:

Read the letter (and the rest of this post) here at Moonbattery. She definitely speaks for me. I love the new CNN logo at the bottom of the post.

Some good ones

Cop gets whiff of big mischief

CENTERVILLE — A teenager suspected of car burglary was so surprised when he opened a car door to find a police officer sitting inside that he ... (did something.)

It happened about 1 a.m. Saturday as Salt Lake County sheriff's deputy Chad Taylor was returning to his Centerville home from working a shift.

"I was in my personal vehicle, but I was in uniform," Taylor told the Deseret News Monday. "I'd pulled in my driveway and was on the phone with another deputy when I looked in the rear-view mirror and saw this guy trying to get into my wife's car."

Taylor watched the teen then move up toward his car.

And what do you think happinks next? Let me tell you, it's bad action. Nobody was hurt but it was brutal.

Fat peeps are the new witches

Dr Phil Edwards, of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, said: “Moving about in a heavy body is like driving in a gas guzzler.”

Each fat person is said to be responsible for emitting a tonne more of climate-warming carbon dioxide per year than a thin one.

It means an extra BILLION TONNES of CO2 a year is created, according to World Health Organisation estimates of overweight people.

The scientists say providing extra grub for them to guzzle adds to carbon emissions that heat up the world, melting polar ice caps, raising sea levels and killing rain forests.

More here:

What about all those joggers, huffing and puffing for miles a day? What about the yoga people, farting and emitting methane like there's no polar bears suffering it out? Let's just face it ... everyone is a witch and we need to start with the burning.

Punch them in the FACE !!


This entry comes highly recommended by Mike of the World Wide Interweb. Mike, we hope this finds you proud, healthy, and full of misplaced rage.

But enough about Mike, this 153 word diatribe is meant for the parents of snotty-nosed devil children. The ones who ruin a perfectly good Saturday excursion to the mall by letting their offspring throw temper-tantrums completely unchecked. What the Crate & Barrel mom and dad? We know you can’t always control the little fuckers, but at the very least take them outside. Don’t just stand there like deer in headlights while they lick the payphones and kick shoppers in the shins. They’re your kids. No one forced you to throw contraception to the wind.

Frankly, we’ve had enough of your pussy parenting . And because hitting a child is wrong, the next time Little Sally Shrieks-A-lot blows her top near the Jamba Juice, you better believe the aftershocks are coming your way. Double time.

From People Who Deserve It:

These are interesting


Before & After PicsClick to enlarge

From Eatliver:

Look at this fucking hipster


Did you know there was a site named "Look at this fucking hipster?" No? Well now you do.

Ace's blog clued me in.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Well, lookie here lookie, y'all.

God Makes Surprise Visit To Local Church

FAYETTEVILLE, NC—Parishioners at the First Presbyterian Church were left stunned and in awe of His glory Sunday, when the Lord God Almighty dropped by their 11 a.m. service unannounced.

Enlarge Image God

Our Father, the Almighty God, popped His all-powerful head into First Presbyterian Church Sunday.

Interrupting Pastor Terry Pridgen's sermon on His unending mercy, God appeared suddenly before His flock as an intense beam of white light, instantly dispersing the earthly forms of those seated in the first two pews. Sources said the remaining congregants had to avert their eyes from their Creator, whose booming celestial voice overwhelmed their worldly senses and humbled their hearts as He politely apologized for not calling first.

"I AM the God of Abraham, the LORD MOST HIGH, who brought you forth from the bondage of Egypt," God said unto church members, many of whom cowered in reverent fear of Him. "Thought I'd just pop in and see how things were going. Please, pretend like I'm not even here."

The Supreme Being then thanked the choir for its "lovely introduction" and took a seat to the right of the altar.

According to wholly repentant witnesses, who were scarcely able to look upon the Alpha and Omega, much less conceive of the enormity of His Might, God did not speak again for the entirety of the service, but was seen nodding approvingly during the Nicene Creed.

Attendees reportedly did not ask the One Who Made Them Flesh why He had chosen to visit their small parish, though some suspected the church's new electric organ might have had something to do with it.

"I don't think anyone knew He was coming," said churchgoer Ron Stiehl, adding that, for once, he was happy his wife dragged him to church. "At least it seemed that way when He started walking toward us and everyone was yelling their heads off like it was Judgment Day."

"Turns out the King of Kings was just making the rounds," Stiehl continued. "I thought He'd be taller."

While God did not reveal unto man a reason for His visit—nor did He, in His great wisdom, offer to pay for the six stained-glass windows that shattered from the awesome power of His presence—the Almighty sat among His followers for the last 35 minutes of the Sunday service, as well as the free coffee and pastries that followed.

Sources said that Our Father sat alone eating two cinnamon-sugar doughnuts, and was approached only once, when 5-year-old Jeremy Pacheco tried to hug the omnipotent deity. The boy's parents immediately yanked him away.

The other 112 church members avoided God entirely, and reacted to His continued stay with a mix of astonishment, confusion, fearful reverence, and the sublime inner peace that comes with the knowledge of a power greater than oneself.

"I wanted to ask the Lord what heaven is like, and if my mother is there, but I wasn't sure if it's still considered taking His name in vain when you address Him directly," Wendy Alston said. "And I didn't dare draw attention to myself with two teenagers wearing blue jeans to church. I could barely look at Him, I was so ashamed."

"Oh dear God," said 72-year-old church volunteer Michael Sharpe, completely enraptured by the materialization of the One True Creator before his very eyes. "Oh, dear God in heaven."

Since the Almighty's decision to stop by the First Presbyterian Church, the theological world has been thrown into chaos. Presbyterian leaders said God's appearance was indisputable proof that their denomination is the one true faith, but afternoon sightings of the Lord at two other Fayetteville churches, as well as one synagogue, have cast doubt on that theory.

"God said He just wanted to see what we were up to," Pastor Pridgen said. "This is His house, after all. He can drop in whenever He wants."

"Although, you'd think an all-knowing deity unbound by time and space would be able to give us some warning so we could at least put a bulletin in the church newsletter," the pastor added. "Not that I'm complaining or anything. All praise be to God. Is He still hanging around the parking lot?"

From the onion

Looking forward to c-span on this one

Go ahead and prosecute away, Mr. President. Will be interesting to see the depositions of Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, John Kerry, Chuck Schumer, Dianne Feinstein, Barbara Boxer, and all the others who were briefed multiple times on what actions we were using. Nary a peep out of them then, can't wait to hear their explanations under oath for the defense.

Defense Attorney: Ms. Pelosi, were you ever advised of a technique of "waterboarding" occurring?

San Fran Nan: Could you repeat the question?

Defense Attorney: In 2002, you were appraised of interrogation techniques being used on detainees, correct?

Pelosi: Um, I was, um. The Bush Regime must be stopped!

Defense Attorney: Can you please answer the question?

Pelosi: Fairness Doctrine!

Defense Attorney: What? Just answer the question. You were aware of the protocols, yet did nothing. Why?

Pelosi: Drain the Swamp! Most corrupt Congress ever!

Defense Attorney: Why did you not speak out against this as far back as 2002? Was it because you knew of the techniques, and approved of them?

Pelosi: Denny Hastert had use of a jet too!

From WhereAreMyKeys

Happy Earth Day - Green is the new Red

April 22, 1970 was the 100th birthday of Vladimir Lenin. Time reported that some suspected the date was not a coincidence, but a clue that the event was "a Communist trick," and quoted a member of the Daughters of the American Revolution saying, "Subversive elements plan to make American children live in an environment that is good for them. From here:
Yes, and we all know what a great environmentalist Lenin was. The date they picked for the first "Earth Day" must have been a coinkydink. Hee Haw - Hee Haw

Hey - when is the last time you heard the commies use the term "global warming?" It's been a while for me. I think they've officially changed it to "Climate Change." That's so they can go ahead and tax the shit out of you no matter WHAT happens. Keep voting for them.

Happy Earth Day!

Today I am so grateful that I live here on Earth. With its air, water, tasty animals, petroleum, and other carbon-based energy sources, this place is the best. I truly feel sorry for those poor idiots living on Mars or Venus. That must really suck.

A good friend of mine would like this bunny

New Signature


From PostSecret:

Punch them in the FACE !!


Lets get one thing straight. We’re not against basic nudity in the rocker room. If you gotta air dry you gotta air dry. There’s nothing we haven’t seen, four words for ya: Khao, San, ping and pong. But what really chaps our thighs is the guy who treats the gym locker room like his own personal super nude Roman bathhouse with an extra side of naked.

There you are trying to mind your own business, when out of nowhere Excessively Nude Locker Room Dominator seizes control of the area with a display of naked that puts even Rocco Siffredi to shame. Even if you manage to avert your eyes during the naked strutting, stretching and Sudoku, the minute you let your guard down this walking skin sag saddles up with a junk full of Gold Bond and a hankering to talk foreign affairs. Nasty.

If your own health club happens to be haunted by a birthday suit abuser, do everyone a favor and show this corn hole it’s better to cover up with a couple of towels, than a hundred bruises.

From People Who Deserve It:

They don't even try to hide it anymore

If you want to know what's going through someone's head, find out what they're reading:

The book is The Post-American World by Fareed Zakaria. It exults in America's decline as the Third World becomes the only world.

Ha ha, in your FACE, jackasses.

From Moonbattery: Via Free Republic, on a tip from Cheetah.

Those GD Organ Grinders

Charles Babbage hated organ grinders. Calling them the worst of the "thousand nuisances" that made it "impossible for the householder to enjoy any quiet," he claimed that such "instruments of torture" had cost him a quarter of his working life. At one point he tallied 165 "nuisances" in 90 days.

"It is difficult to estimate the misery inflicted upon thousands of persons," he wrote, "and the absolute pecuniary penalty imposed upon multitudes of intellectual workers by the loss of their time, destroyed by organ-grinders and other similar nuisances."

He spent £170 on a soundproof room in his Cheyne Row house to protect him from "vile yellow Italians"; it didn't work. When a magistrate asked if he really believed that listening to a hand organ could impair a man's brain, he replied, "Certainly not, for the obvious reason that no man having a brain ever listened to street musicians."

Sadly, he was as much renowned for this crusade as for his scientific accomplishments — his 1871 obituary in the London Times notes that he lived to be almost 80 "in spite of organ-grinding persecutions."

From Futility Closet:

Socialist utopia


From Eatliver:

Some brains cells still left in Hollywood





From Newsbusters:

Play guitar - and get laid


Found it at Bits and Pieces: