Fat peeps are the new witches

Dr Phil Edwards, of the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine, said: “Moving about in a heavy body is like driving in a gas guzzler.”

Each fat person is said to be responsible for emitting a tonne more of climate-warming carbon dioxide per year than a thin one.

It means an extra BILLION TONNES of CO2 a year is created, according to World Health Organisation estimates of overweight people.

The scientists say providing extra grub for them to guzzle adds to carbon emissions that heat up the world, melting polar ice caps, raising sea levels and killing rain forests.

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What about all those joggers, huffing and puffing for miles a day? What about the yoga people, farting and emitting methane like there's no polar bears suffering it out? Let's just face it ... everyone is a witch and we need to start with the burning.