Friday, March 4, 2011

HA! Burgers Will Kill YOU!

PHOENIX — A 575-pound man who gained a measure of fame as spokesman for the Heart Attack Grill — a Phoenix-area restaurant that unabashedly touts its unhealthy, high-calorie menu — has died.
Restaurant founder Jon Basso told The Arizona Republic that River was more than the larger-than-life caricature he portrayed in promoting the restaurant in Chandler, which includes huge hamburgers, milkshakes and fries cooked in lard on its menu. (Lard will shortly be on the list of illegal substances, like Freon or DDT.)
Basso said River was a creative genius who had been planning to take part in the shooting of a promotional spot called, "Heart Attack Grill: The Musical."
"Cynical people might think this (River's death) is funny," Basso said. "But people who knew him are crying their eyes out. There is a lot of mourning going on around here. You couldn't have found a better person."
Friends of 29-year-old Blair River say he died Tuesday, possibly from contracting pneumonia after a bout with the flu.
The 6-foot-8 River was an Arizona state high school heavyweight wrestling champion in 1999 and played football at Mesa Community College.

Last time I heard, the flu and pneumonia were 100% unrelated to obesity or a rich diet. NOW they will be. Here comes the fast food tax.

2 comments:

Evil_Klown said...

Well, you've made the mistake of assuming facts are meaningful to liberals/jourrrrnalists.

WOMBAT said...

"You couldn't have found a better person."

Really? Better at what?

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