What? I was just mentoring them, sheesh.

A former judge is facing life in prison after being charged with sexually abusing male inmates in exchange for leniency.

Respected circuit judge Herman Thomas, who was once the Democratic Party’s choice to be the first black federal judge in south Alabama, is accused of bringing inmates to his office and spanking them with a paddle. What? He's a Democrat and they said so in the article? Will wonders never cease?

His trial for charges of sodomy, kidnapping, sex abuse, extortion, assault and ethics violations is set to begin today.

The 48-year-old insists he is innocent and claims he was trying to mentor the inmates. Yes, mentoring ... a lot of that going around.

The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, a leading civil rights group, has defended Thomas and claims race is behind his prosecution. Oh oh, holy smoke ... racism.

In an echo of sex allegations made against black Supreme Court justice Clarence Thomas, Thomas's lawyer called the indictment ‘a high-tech lynching’.

‘They don't like uppity black folks, and that's what they consider Herman,’ Clark added.

Noting that each of the alleged victims is black, Patterson says jail checkout records back up inmates' claims about trips to Thomas' private office, and other inmates spotted marks after paddlings. Oops -- all the victims are black and it's still racism? Hmmmm.

There also is other evidence, according to court records, including one inmate's seminal fluid on the office carpet. Woopsie daisy ... sorry about that ... looks like I got some of that sweet, sweet, mentoring juice on my tonsils. More here: