Cigarette Smokers = Shitstains

As the smoking ban looms, far fewer are kicking the habit

Campaigners are calling for more spending on stop-smoking ads before the July deadline

By Jonathan Owen
Published: 27 May 2007

With almost half of Britons unaware that it will be illegal to smoke in public places from 1 July, new figures reveal there has been a dramatic slump in the number of smokers kicking the habit.

Anti-smoking campaigners are now calling on the Government to capitalise on the ban by running stop-smoking adverts and increasing tobacco taxation.
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The klown imagines interviews with "smokers on the street."

"Uh -- Duh -- yeah -- I'm banned -- but I expected it cuz I'm a shitstain"

"Uh -- Duh -- yeah -- I have to pay more taxes -- but I deserve it -- cuz I'm a shitstain"

"Uh -- Duh -- yeah -- Quitting makes sense -- with the ban on us shitstains coming soon"

"Uh -- Duh -- yeah -- it's about time us shitstains learned our lesson"

"Uh -- Duh -- yeah -- this isn't as bad as when they banned jacking off in the bathroom -- it was for my own good."
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Smokers will make a last stand at a Forest "Revolt in Style" dinner at the Savoy Hotel in London a week before the ban. Guests will include David Hockney, who has condemned the ban as a "grotesque piece of social engineering... imposed easily by a political and media elite".

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