LOL - SNL "went there" with the Patreus thing

Change is great

There's an old sea story about a ship's Captain who inspected his sailors, and afterward told the first mate that his men smelled bad.

The Captain suggested perhaps it would help if the sailors would change underwear occasionally.

The first mate responded, "Aye, aye sir, I'll see to it immediately!"

The first mate went straight to the sailors berth deck and announced, "The Captain thinks you guys smell bad and wants you to change your underwear."

He continued, "Pittman, you change with Jones, McCarthy, you change with Witkowski, and Brown, you change with Schultz."

THE MORAL OF THE STORY:

Someone may come along and promise "Change", but don't count on things smelling any better.

Huge new threat to freedom

(CNSNews.com) - President Barack Obama's senior campaign adviser David Axelrod said on CBS's "Face the Nation" on Sunday that his next project will include inspiring young people to become "journalists." More here:

Holy TOLEDO, we're doomed ... think about it ... this dummkopf and his buddies producing  big-government Democratics with a by-line leftist propagandists. Oh, whatever will we do ... it's going to upset the current delicate balance between socialist jourrrrnalists and communist jourrrrnalists.

Congratulations to the Democrats and Young People! You now own it and you can't blame Bush.
The next terrorist attack you own it.
Can't get a job after graduation, you own it.
Sky rocketing energy prices due to Obama's EPA shutting down the energy producing states, you own it.
A nuclear Iran, you own it.
Bowing to the Soviet Union, you own it.
Another severe recession, you own it.
A volatile border with Mexico, you own it.
Trouble getting good health care, you own it.
Higher health insurance costs and health care costs, you own it.
No budget, you own it.
Our allies mistrust, you own it.
Another trillion of debt, you own it.
More Benghazi situations, you own it.
No one willing to join the military, you own it.
Trouble getting a loan to buy a home, you own it.
More dependency on food stamps, you own it.
Trouble finding good employment, you own it.
Several part time jobs instead of a good job, you own it.
A World Government, you own it.
The UN governing the United States instead of ourselves, you own it.
A Senate that will not bring any legislation to the table even if it is "Dead on Arrival", you own it.
China controlling our world trade trampling all over us, you own it.
Loss of our freedoms as we have known it in the past, you own it.
A dictatorship instead of a democracy that follows the Constitution, you own it.
Less take home pay and higher living costs, you own it.
Driving a car that looks like a toy, you own it.
More government corruption and lies, you own it.
More toleration of extreme and fanatical Islamists, you own it.
Terrorist attacks called work place incidents, you own it.
Your revenge instead of love of country, you own it.
President George Bush is out of it now, and there is not another good man for you to vilify and lie about. In a way I am relieved that another good man will not be blamed when it was impossible to clean up this mess you voted for. Have a good day. God bless the United States and Texas! God is our hope now.

 

 

LET ME HEAR A "BIG" AMEN !

 

The Irony is Beyond Explanation

Why do we have a constitution?

George Washington at Constitutional Convention of 1787, signing of U.S. Constitution.

Found the pic here:

I shall answer the question below, not from some "intellectual" standpoint, but instead from my point of view. You can judge for yourself whether it makes any sense.

WHY DID THE FOUNDERS OF OUR COUNTRY WRITE THE CONSTITUTION?

The founders and framers were very well-read men ... very familiar with the history of governments in general ... very familiar with both old and new philosophy as it relates to the freedom of men.  

In view of this knowledge, they undertook to write a basic law to govern all future laws and to LIMIT THE POWER OF THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT.

By doing that, they also limit the power of "the majority."

But Klown, why?  Don't we have majority rule?

Well, we're not supposed to.  In fact, the framers were well aware of what happened (and will always happen) when you get "majority rule" so they went to GREAT lengths to prevent it.

Think about it ... do you think that 51% of the people should RULE OVER the other 49%?

We have a pretty generous immigration policy in this country ... how would you feel if the 51% were Muslim? See, the Muslims don't want to be "ruled over" by Christians but they have no problem or hesitation whatsoever doing the reverse.  

From my viewpoint, I don't want to be "ruled over" by people who think they know better than me.  I don't care how "smart" you are ... or if you consider the 'science to be settled" ... if I want your opinion, I'll ask for it, otherwise, keep your genius to yourself and keep your hand out of my pocket, mmmmkay?

And it doesn't stop with religion either, I just used that as an example ... to show you that the framers KNEW things could change majority-wise ... and it's never a good thing for individual liberty to have a simple majority "ruling" over the minority ... unless you're interested in the possibility of becoming a slave.

They figured to give the states and the people most of the power ... so that states could compete with each other in giving people their liberty.  But the federal government was supposed to be innocuous and have VERY limited powers ... each of which the framers painstakingly "enumerated" ... so that even morons could capisky it.

This way, people could be free to move among the states if some jackass outlawed salt despots and tyrants started ordering people around ... and collecting too much of their hard-earned curp money (for your own good, of course.)

Yet some people (mostly Democratics) want to justify their tyranny with:

"It's constitutional under the commerce clause."

"It's constitutional under the necessary and proper clause."

"It's constitutional under the general welfare clause."

To which I respond, "Oh really, you think the intention of the founders/framers was that government can do anything it damn well pleases just because of a couple of sentences in the constitution?  

If that's the case then why did the framers bother writing the rest of the constitution?  Why didn't they just have a one-sentence constitution?  I can see the document now ... big lettering ... "Government can do whatever it wants."  Why didn't they do that? Hmmmmm?

See, and jackasses like this are interested in justifying their theft of my liberty ... for my own good, of course.

To sum up, the constitution was written to protect your liberty and individual freedom by limiting the power of the federal government (so it wold not usurp the power of the states) ... and to prevent incursions on your liberty/freedom by the constantly shifting whims of your intellectual betters the "majority."

As an example of states rights, the good ol' people of California just voted to increase taxes.  And that's FINE, I love it.  But why did they do that?  Do you know anyone who WANTS to pay more money to the government?  

See, their government spent money with abandon ... they spend MUCH more than they took in.  And when governments do that, it all boils down to a tax on the people ... because eventually, the people will pay the debt ... and THAT IS WHY YOU HAVE A DEBT CEILING.  Think of a debt ceiling as a tax ceiling.  

And this is why I love the states/powers thing ... that way, dumbass hippies can't reach into my wallet, as they are SO prone to do.

Speaking of that, 

Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev.) said on Wednesday that if the $16.394 trillion current legal limit on the federal government's debt must be raised in the next few months by another $2.4 trillion, “We’ll raise it."

In other words, we'll steal your money raise your taxes no matter WHAT you say ... you got me, asshats? Because you ran out of money before we finished giving your money to our friends, expanding government, buying votes and just generally having a blast ... cuz money is power, baby.

We won't actually say that though ... no ... instead we'll tell you it's to "save you."  Oh yes, you didn't know?  They've been saving your brains out for the last 20 years.  

Has the government passed a budget in the last three years? Answer: hell no, that might limit their spending ... and right now, they're drunk as hell with power and they're doing you gangnam style.

The Republicans are for a balanced-budget amendment to the constitution and the Democractics are fighting it.  Does that suggest anything to you?  Anyone?  Anyone?  Bueller?

She's got the jets ... & TOUGH, she takes & makes hits at the end

Found it at the Chive:

It's always a "mandate" with elections, have you noticed that?

Bold is mine.

Speaker of the House John Boehner delivered a direct message to President Barack Obama after Obama’s victory in the election: “This is your moment” and “we want you to succeed.”

“If there’s a mandate in yesterday’s [election] results it’s a mandate for us to find a way to work together on the solutions to the challenges that we all face as a nation,” Boehner said in a speech at the Capitol on Wednesday. More here:

Oh yes, yes, a "mandate" ... the election stacked up thusly:

Obama -- 51%

Romney - 48%

So, 3% more people voted for Obama than Romney ... 3% ... does that sound like a "mandate" to you?  No?  Then what the hell is Boehner talking about?

Boehner, the "leader of the Republicans" ... and he wants to "work with" the Democratics.  Great, do the Democratics want to expand my freedom and reduce the size of the Leviathon/government?  If so, then, by all means, "work with" them.  If not, obstruct them please ... jackass.

Speaking of that, here's another jackass with a "mandate."

Speaking at a packed news conference on Capitol Hill, Reid laid out an ambitious agenda for 2013 after his party’s surprisingly decisive Senate victories and President Barack Obama’s reelection bid, saying the public gave Democrats a new mandate to raise taxes ... more here:

Ack, I am toting my beating

I just thought of some possible good news about Obama winning

If Obama DOES win, I think the "Democratic" party will be finished for a generation.

Has the media learned any lessons about calling races early?

In this post on Politico, the pundits are arguing over whether the media has learned any lessons in the last few elections ... i.e. calling races early.

First of all, it's just hysterical to me that anyone would think the media would "learn a lesson."  I mean, let's think about this ... they're idiot-libs, and being an idiot- lib means you don't "learn lessons" ... it's an essential characteristic of being a lib ... in other words, if you could learn, you wouldn't be a lib.

Secondly, everyone is assuming  they WANT to improve.  I don't think they have the slightest interest in improving ... unless it's improving their ability to brainwash the sheep.

And finally, I read several of these "arguments" from the geniuses ... and nobody asks the obvious follow-up question:

Will the media EVER make a mistake and call a state for the conservative and then later find out the liberal won?  Yes, funny isn't it? Have you EVER seen that happen? I can't recall it.

Instead, they ALWAYS call too soon for the liberal, don't they?  And then have to reverse themselves when the votes are counted.

Luckily for them, they're idiot-libs, and another essential characteristic of idiot-libs is their inability to be embarrassed or humiliated.  Because you know what happens when you get embarrassed or humiliated?  That's right, you LEARN.

More here:

The Klown's final thoughts on the election

 

1 - Romney wins by a mile.

For the last year the media has told us that polls show Obama is a shoo-in for reelection. Yet now, as the election is within a week, they tell us the polls show the race has mysteriously "tightened" and now it's 50-50.  Do you buy this crap?

(Today's polls - the day before the election)

Here's the call, Obama is going to be blown the hell out of office like no president in the last 50 years.  Popular vote 52-47, Electoral college, Romney gets in excess of 300.  Ok, so it's not exactly the biggest blowout in the last 50 years, pardon the hyperbole.

Just my opinion, of course.  You have to remember, contrary to appearances and widespread public opinion, I'm not actually super genius (though I do, on occasion, wear a cape.) .  Therefore I have no problem saying what I actually think ... you know ... cuz if I'm wrong, so what.

2 -We badly need to win the Senate.

Without that, we can't do much of anything ... and by "do," I mean "undo."  Is there ANYTHING the federal government doesn't stick its fingers into anymore?  Is there ANYTHING it doesn't tax, or try to tax?  Is there NO limit on how much money they will tax/borrow/ or print?  None?

3 - Remember the election of 2010?

You do?  I'm impressed.  You know who doesn't?  Answer: The mainstream media.  They have forgotten ALL about this historic ass whipping.  And that's why they're all going to be so shocked and surprised when Obama gets the boot.

That's right.  Never mind he and his fellow "DEMOCRATICS" are busy crushing America as fast as they can ... and enriching their buddies along the way.  Never mind about gas prices (and the DEMOCRATICS blocking more drilling/transportation/refining.)  Never mind about persistently ridiculous unemployment numbers.  Never mind "no budget for three years."  Never mind the asinine spending of more money and running up more debt than all previous governments combined.  

I could go on an on but it wouldn't matter to our intellectual betters.  This is all invisible to them.  Common sense, logic, history, reason, facts ... all these have nothing to teach the perpetually surprised idiot-lib genius.

Hey, Klown, which senate seats are up for reelection?

Turns out Democrats are expected to have 21 seats up for election, plus two independents who caucus with the Democrats, while Republicans are expected to have only 10 seats up for election.

Have you ever noticed?  Yes, "independents" are always communists/socialists/Democratics.  Prolly just a co-winkydink.

So, we have quite the opportunity to make a change in the senate, and of course, I predict we do send Harry Reid packing ... sweet.

The good ol' honest and forthright mainstream media

Found it at Ace of Spades:

New "study" uncovers shocking info

Picture yourself as a student, sitting at a desk with your two No. 2 pencils sharpened and ready for a standardized math test. Has your heart rate quickened? Are you feeling anxious? Researchers have conducted a study of those with math anxiety and found that it can actually register pain.

Researchers from the University of Chicago reviewed brain scans of those with math anxiety and saw activity in the area associated with pain when math was being presented to them. More here:

Wow. VERY useful "info."  And who would have EVER guessed this without the "study?"

In related news, whenever the government spends Klown's money on ridiculous "research" projects, the Klown's ass hurts.

What do the religious "clerics" say about hurricane Sandy?

Ever notice that idiotic religious fanatics are always falling over each other to explain why the latest "big event" is what they've always been warning you about?

The Muslim clerics: Sandy is God's way of punishing America

The Global Warming clerics: Sandy is Global Warming's way of punishing America

Hey ... clerics ... pound sand.

Oh, if only it were true that incorrect, morally superior, public declarations were painful.
  

I think if God/Allah were to decide to "punish" something while we were on earth, the FIRST thing he'd punish is this kind of jackass behavior.  I know this because, if'n I were God, you peeps would be in deep kimchee ... you got me?

Oh ... I'm getting excited just THINKING about the wrath I would bring upon you.

Feeling sorry for New Jersey?

Hurricane Sandy hit there a few days ago ... there are peeps without power, long lines at gas stations, fights, looting, peeps dumpster diving ... society crumbling, it's a very bad situation.

So naturally, Americans go to help ... and what happens?

Crews from Decatur Utilities and Joe Wheeler out of Trinity headed up there this week, but Derrick Moore, one of the Decatur workers, said they were told by crews in New Jersey that they can't do any work there since they're not union employees.

The crews that are in Roanoke, Virginia say they are just watching and waiting even though they originally received a call asking for help from Seaside Heights, New Jersey.

The crews were told to stand down. In fact, Moore said the crew from Trinity is already headed back home.

Understandably, Moore said they're frustrated being told "thanks, but no thanks."

What? I mean, seriously ... (prepare for the sarcasms) since WHEN do unions push people around? 

Oh wait ... it's probably "the law," right?  Yes, they lobby the legislature and get the "Democratics" to write laws that suck for you favor the unions ... in return, the unions donate money to the "Democratics."  See how "democratic" that is?  Yes, I thought you would.

And yet, the people of New Jersey vote them into office year after year. Still feeling sorry for them?

Hey, I sure hope our federal government uses some of my money to help New Jersey, don't you?  Oh yes, don't spare a dime.

Pumpkin Spice Cake With Chocolate-Pecan Filling

My honey is making this.  You can click here for the recipe if you want.

Yes, this sounds like a terrible case of rape to me

A short note: Nowhere in the article does it say that Gloria Allred is involved, nor does it show this pic ... I found the pic on my own.

NEW YORK — A teenager who has accused former New York Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor of sexually assaulting her when she was 16 cried Tuesday as she described her encounter with the NFL Hall of Famer at the start of a civil trial.

Taylor pleaded guilty to misdemeanor charges of sexual misconduct and patronizing an underage prostitute for having sex with her in 2010 and is serving six years of probation. He leaned forward in his chair to watch the 19-year-old testify in U.S. District Court.

The teen, Cristina Fierro, who has since married, told a Manhattan jury hearing her lawsuit that she didn't know who Taylor was when she found him naked on a bed in a hotel room in Montebello, just north of New York City. She says another man forced her to have sex with Taylor for $300. She said she brought the lawsuit to hold Taylor accountable.

LOL -- forced me to do it for $300.  What?  Did I think of refusing the money? You know, since I was just forcibly raped and all?  

No, I didna think of that.  But ... I DID think of hiring famed slip-and-fall predatory lawyer, Gloria Allred sometime later.

You know what ELSE I thought of ... I thought that suing him and keeping his curp would serve my purpose of "holding him accountable."  That's all I ever wanted you know .... *sniff*

Actually, the Klown wonders whether this chick contacted Gloria Allred or the other way around.  If I had to guess, I'd say Gloria is the one who contacted the little chickie with "Hey, we can get rich here."

Fierro said she went to a bathroom to call her uncle, who told her to dial 911. She said she did so and left the phone in her bag, "waiting for shadows to come and banging on the door to come get me." But the police never showed up.

Right, call 911 and then drop the phone in your purse.  Something just doesn't pass the smell test here.

When she returned to the car of the man who had ordered her to have sex with Taylor, she said, she called her uncle and told him in Spanish that calling 911 didn't work. The police were waiting when the car arrived back at the man's Bronx home. The man later was sentenced to seven years in prison.

Wait, what?  The man FORCED her to get out of the car ... and go up there (by herself) ... and then FORCE him (whom I'm SURE the chickie never heard of and didn't know who it was) to pay you $300 for sex.  

And it never once entered her mind to "run away" once she was out of the car?  Let me tell you something, Lawrence Taylor, if the Klown were on that jury, you'd never pay a dime.

Taylor's lawyer, Arthur Aidala, said in his opening statement that Taylor never used violence, never threatened Fierro and thought she was sent by a friend who offered "female companionship."

Aidala tried to mitigate the circumstances by noting that Taylor "did have sex with a woman who was 16 years, 11 months and three weeks old."

What's this, he had sex with a 17-year-old hooker?  HE'S A WITCH!!!!!

"I am not condoning what he did," Aidala said. "It's a crime he's been punished for."

He said the lawsuit, seeking unspecified compensatory and punitive damages, is "a money grab" because of Taylor's fame.

He was punished for his "horrific and witch-like crime" alright ... but that didn't make Allred any money, now did it.  Answer: No.

With cross-examination set to start Wednesday, Aidala asked the judge if he could tell the jury that a rape kit test showed the semen of two men including Taylor. The judge didn't immediately decide.

Oh, this must be one tough legal decision ... let's see, do I let the truth be known or not? Yes, in the US legal system these days, that one is a real stumper ... very "razor's edgey."

As I said in the headline, this sounds like a terrible case of rape to me ... it's the slip-and-fall lawyer, Gloria Allred, raping yet ANOTHER victim.

Stuff you didn't know about Guantanamo Bay

The new commander of the US base in Guantanamo, Cuba, presides over two different worlds — separated by miles of woods and barbed wire.

Outside the fence where 166 real-life monsters are imprisoned, there’s a Navy Exchange store that looks like a Walmart — and was doing a brisk business selling monster costumes to youngsters.

It had a big sign advertising it as: “Your Halloween Headquarters.”

Down the street is a movie theater, a Subway sandwich shop, a McDonald’s, a Pizza Hut and an Irish-style bar with a plaque that reads, “Down with Guinness — then you’ll feel better.”

It says there's 166 prioners left and about 5,500 peeps live there, including 700 children.   

That's sort of interesting to me because I SERIOUSLY doubt McDonalds would ever locate a restaurant in such a small town ... nor would a Taco Bell.  On the other hand, when the competition is severely restricted, maybe it's a different story.

Anyway, there's more interesting tidbits here:

Hey, whoa, WHOA ... I have a question

YUMA, Ariz. (AP) -- Suspected smugglers who tried to use ramps to drive an SUV over a 14-foot-tall border fence had to abandon their plan when the Jeep became stuck on top of the barrier, authorities said Wednesday.

Oopsie daisy, they should have asked about a new method of determining whether this would work ... it's called MATH.  Or, if you're like me, you can't do the math so instead you TRY A DRY RUN.  Jeez.

Agents patrolling the U.S.-Mexico border near the Imperial Sand Dunes in California's southeast corner spotted the Jeep Cherokee teetering atop the fence early Tuesday, Border Patrol spokesman Spencer Tippets said. 

Two smugglers on the Mexican side of the border were trying to free the Jeep when the agents approached, Tippets said. They ran further into Mexico and escaped.

The Jeep was empty, but agents said it was probably filled with contraband like bales of marijuana before it got high-centered atop the fence.  Yes, prolly.  Tell me this, was the truck trying to get into the US or was it going back into Mexico?  See, this is the type of question that never occurs to a highly trained jourrrnolib genius.

The smugglers had built ramps to drive up and over the fence, something that has been tried at least once before. In April 2011, agents found a truck that had ramps built onto it and had driven up to the border fence. A pickup had driven up and over the fence, but it was spotted and its occupants were captured, Tippets said.  Built-in ramps you say ... ingenius, ... I mean, ingenious.

The agency's Yuma sector has seen a 95 percent reduction in human smuggling in recent years, freeing up agents to focus on drug smugglers.

Wait, what?  A 95% reduction?  And how, pray tell, did this achievement come about?  I can't wait to read further, can you?  I have full confidink the jourrrrnolib will let us all know.

"Because of how successful we are we don't have all the clutter like we had in years past," Tippets said. "Now that all the clutter is gone, we're able to focus on things that are bigger threats."

Yes, "successful" ... through some kind of  action and initiative, correct?  Well then, what was it?  What actions did you take to become "successful?  Ooooooo, the anticipation ... I can't WAIT!

The terrain in western Arizona and eastern California has little vegetation and is much less rugged than the land in southeastern Arizona, so smugglers have a harder time making it into the U.S. without being spotted. From here:

LOL ... right ... MUCH easier to spot them ... due to the terrain.  

I guess the border patrol suddenly discovered that the terrain lends itself to "spotting" smugglers.  From this I assume that once they opened their eyes, they were able to "spot" them ... and this caused the 95% reduction.  Right?  I don't know ... feels like I might be missing something.

A little further research by a plain old everyday doofus  resourceful genius like me reveals what must have certainly escaped our professional jourrrrnolib ... the construction of a fence in that area is behind the "success."