Politically incorrect joke - 1

The only cow in a small town in Ireland stopped giving milk. The town folk found they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply. They brought the cow from Scotland. It was wonderful, produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy.

They bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so that they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again. They put the bull in the pasture with the cow but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he was never able to do the deed.

The people were very upset and decided to go to the Vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice. "Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away. If he approaches from the back, she moves forward. When he approaches her from the front, she backs off. If he attempts from the one side, she walks away to the other side."

The Vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, "Did you, by chance, buy this cow in Scotland ?"

The people were dumbfounded; since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland.

"You are truly a wise Vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Scotland?"

The Vet replied with a distant look in his eye, "My wife is from Scotland."

I got this joke (and the one in the next post) in email from a friend of mine ... a friend who could post them himself if he so desired.  He's probably concerned about being labeled a racist or sexist witch.  Who can blame him?  I, however, suffer no such concern/dismay.  If you're not paying my bills, I could give a damn what you think ... ESPECIALLY of you're an idiot lib who thinks yelling witch racist every three minutes impresses anyone. 

"Oh, he's so intelligent ... look, he's spotting racists everywhere."

Politically incorrect joke - 2

I never went hunting before this year but I thought I'd try it.  Would you believe I got an 18 pointer ?

I shot this 18 pointer off of my porch this morning. I used KFC scent and smoked a blunt to draw him in close.

 

"Hey Klown, that's really racist man. "

I know ... if by "racist" you meant "hysterical."

Guy calls 911 and Confesses to Growing Marijuana - Robert Michelson Smok...

A Connecticut man's plan to grow marijuana went up in smoke after he called 911 and asked how much trouble he would get into for growing the drug.

"I was just growing some marijuana and I was just wondering what, how much, you know, trouble you can get into for one plant," a not-so-bright Robert Michelson asked on Thursday night.

When the dispatcher asked if there was an active crime in progress, the 21-year-old answered "possibly."

Dispatchers traced the call to Michelson's home in Farmington, where cops found drug paraphernalia and a small amount of pot.

Michelson admitted he bought seeds and equipment online for growing.

He was released on a $5,000 bail. As he left the police station, he gave dispatchers two middle fingers.

"Presumably for doing such a good job," police said.



Read more: http://www.nydailynews.com/news/national/2011/02/05

The Forgotten Man - Jon McNaughton

I guess they already know too

Sounds familiar

even Phil knows the answer

even the shadow shows the outcome

fri pins

We're stealing your freedom -- but relax, it's for your own good

Liberal Idiocy gets people killed -- but it's ok

"Painful Conclusion": Senators Say FBI & DOD Could Have Prevented Ft. Hood Shooting

A new Senate report on the 2009 Fort Hood shooting blames the FBI and Department of Defense for failing to recognize or act on alleged shooter Army Major Nidal Malik Hasan’s extremist views.

The report, released today by Senate Homeland Security Committee chairman Joe Lieberman and ranking Republican Susan Collins, says the FBI and DOD could have prevented the shooting if they had identified Hasan’s radical Islamist views and disciplined or discharged him before the attack occurred.

“Our report’s painful conclusion is that the Fort Hood massacre could have and should have been prevented,” Lieberman said at a press conference today.

“The fact is that both the FBI and the Army were aware of Major Hasan,” Collins said. “This is not a case where a lone wolf was unknown to the FBI, unknown to the military officials, until he struck – and that is the tragedy of this case.”

The November 2009 shooting killed 13 people and wounded 32 others. More here:

Yes, they knew ... but they did nothing.  You know why?  Because it's better that innocent people are killed than to deal with facts if there is the slightest chance of being called a racist.  We must be politically correct at all times, mere human lives are not a consideration.  There is NOTHING more disgusting than a witch racist.

The funniest part?  LOTS more people are going to be killed before we wise up.  Notice I said "we."  I don't include libs in "we."  Libs will have to be "convinced" another way.  Simple facts mean nothing to their religion of political correctness etc.

Imagine telling a radical islamist that it isn't necessary for women to dress in burkas and that it won't harm him if they don't.  Facts will mean nothing to him ... he has his own "facts."  He insists on forcing his "facts" upon others.  This is what it's like talking to libs.

So how do you convince someone like this to leave you alone and go about their own business?  Yes, quite the conundrum.

Hands off Anderson Cooper!!!

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Obama ... "Judges? Ha ha, get away from me, flea."

Found the pic at Moonbattery

The Obama Administration acted in contempt by continuing its deepwater-drilling moratorium after the policy was struck down, a New Orleans judge ruled.

Interior Department regulators acted with “determined disregard” by lifting and reinstituting a series of policy changes that restricted offshore drilling, following the worst offshore oil spill in U.S. history, U.S. District Judge, Martin Feldman of New Orleans ruled yesterday.

“Each step the government took following the court’s imposition of a preliminary injunction showcases its defiance,” Feldman said in the ruling. More here:

As if Obama gives a shit what you think, judge.  He doesn't care about the people of the gulf either.  Rich or poor, doesn't matter, he's out to crush "Big Oil"  and he's going to do so no matter the cost. 

He's going to do so no matter how much gasoline prices increase.  He's going to do so no matter how many people lose their jobs.  He's going to do so no matter what judges say.  He's going to do so no matter what the congress says ... it's over. 

You have to understand, this is what the communists dupeniks elected him to do.  It's mission critical.  Keep making rulings though.  I'm sure he'll abide by any "rulings" with which he agrees.

Witch!

See, this is funny to us because these Libs are using flawed logic and twisting the truth solely to serve their ideology. Libs also find it funny but only because they don't realize they're laughing at themselves.

Ass Klown keeps accusing me of being a Lib because I'm a big believer in personal responsibility when it comes to dealing with the problems of our society but he believes in "live and let live". When I see someone ramming around shooting peeps, I want to shoot the guy in the face but Klown argues that I'm shouting "Witch!". The difference though is that I want to act upon actual problems and not on popular fabrications that the sheeple have created just so they can seem busy.

"I'd rather see hash houses."

There is one and only one public shooting range in Manhattan and while I have never been, I'm thinking about a visit- partly to whang away at a paper target and partly to find out how I can legally own a handgun while being a full-time resident of NYC and a part-time resident in a state with much more reasonable gun ownership laws.

Anyway, the place is called the West Side Rifle & Pistol Range and I read the reviews on Yelp. Most of the reviews (in excess of 95%) are very positive... except for this one...

Thanks for piping in, Lib. Where to begin though... first of all, she's from Nassau, NY. Those of you with access to Google might think this means "Nassau, NY"... a small town South East of Albany. You'd be wrong. She means "Nassau County, NY". This is her way of being "clever" because "you know what I meant" also, this inhibits you from knowing where she lives specifically. It's also her way of being deceptive. Reading her profile and her blog makes it obvious that she's not upstate but is instead in Nassau County... Long Island- the only place in the world worse than New Jersey (there are some very nice parts of New Jersey).

She has a blog, Blue Heron Kitchen wherein she talks about cooking and telling you how to live your life...

"Spend more time cooking, stay out of mega-supermarkets, buy local produce, support responsible, sustainable farming and try to buy organic produce when possible. Eat less meat and more green leaves. Steer clear of genetically modified foods. If you haven't seen it, watch " Food, Inc.". Lose the additives, preservatives, colorings and processed foods. Take the challenge: keep the ingredients on the side of the box to fewer than 10 and buy it only if you can pronounce them. Read a book by Michael Pollan. Above all, care, live well, work for peace and cook."

Frankly, this is good advice but "work for peace"? Must she? Really? Of course she must. She's a Lib. But I digress.

In her comment on Yelp, she's at it again. Clearly, she's not the NRA type. She probably doesn't even believe in guns. She doesn't let that stop her. She still insists on telling you what you should be doing instead of doing what you enjoy because she doesn't happen to approve of it. "Isn't Arizona enough?" That's a good one... nothing like striking while the iron is hot... Libs will never leave one nerve untouched when they're getting up in our faces.

She suggests kick-boxing. I suspect she's talking about the kick-boxing you see housewives practicing in the gym (where the line up and swing their legs in the air and pause for water breaks) and not the classic sport of kick-boxing (where you grab your opponent's head and pull it into your swiftly rising knee until he submits).









Primals? What are "Primals"? I guess it's a slang term she and the ladies with whom she lunches use in a very "special people club" kind of way. I'm not sure what she actually means by it and I'm even less sure how "Eat chocolate" could serve as a legitimate alternative.

"Just look at the photos". The photos show people firing guns at an indoor gun range. I don't see what's disturbing about that but I'm not a Lib so I don't throw a hissy fit at the drop of a hat. Maybe she's talking about the guy who says "Headshot! bam!". In his review, he references "Doom/Quake/Unreal [Tournament]/Counterstrike, etc." Wherein the voice-over announces "Head Shot" when you kill an opponent with a single bullet to the head.

Sure, moms will hate that sort of thing. That's the point. Moms hate it when we have fun (wives too, unfortunately). There's even a video game developer that uses this to market its latest game... http://www.yourmomhatesthis.com/. Of course, we know that a video game is just a video game and the fun of it is that you can do things in the game that you could never and would never do in real life. The same thing applies to a gun range. This complicated concept somehow eludes our intellectual betters. Furthermore, they state, "Criminal background check required - must make an appointment 5 days in advance and log in to website to perform criminal background check." So it's not like any crafty characters are going to be availing themselves of this place.

"So, do you think these places are good for kids?" No. I do not although I think that every child older than 4 should be crystal clear on gun safety rules. However, nowhere in any of the comments does anyone mention bringing children. Furthermore, if you read the first page of Westside's website, they clearly state that you must be "21 years of age or older and a permanent US resident". I guess this is just another example of Libs' inability to read and comprehend.

And lastly, "Shut these places down. I'd rather see hash houses." I believe her. Drug abuse "is a real problem in America" and we need her help with it. The more "hash houses" we have, the busier she and people like her can seem.

Bawk .... bawk bawk ... bawk

Al Gore says:

Last week on his show Bill O’Reilly asked, “Why has southern New York turned into the tundra?” and then said he had a call into me. I appreciate the question.

As it turns out, the scientific community has been addressing this particular question for some time now and they say that increased heavy snowfalls are completely consistent with what they have been predicting as a consequence of man-made global warming:

“In fact, scientists have been warning for at least two decades that global warming could make snowstorms more severe. More here:

Sure they have Al. That explains why your minions have been saying so all along, right? How about these, for examples?

The funny part? Only my intellectual betters still believe in global warming. The part I like best is how they changed it to "climate change" when it was clear they were in the wrong.

The deal is, they want to get their hands on your money and your freedom.  And they want to organize a kazillion new government agencies and jobs for their buddies.

Gimmee that old tyme religion

Go ahead. Peck me again, m'fer. Go ahead. Do it. Do it.

What you said? I can't hear you!

Hey lookie what I found!

Let's rescue it and give it a good home!

Bill Keller impressing his friends at an office cocktail party.

America is not a pretty sight, thanks to Fox News, complains a New York Times editor. The right-wing infused programing is turning us into cynical malcontents who are more polarized than ever, explains Times executive editor Bill Keller. "The effect of Fox News on American public life has been to create a level of cynicism about the news in general. I think it's unhealthy," Keller explained in an interview at the National Press Club. "National discourse is more polarized and strident than it has been in the past, and to some extent, I would lay that at the feet of Rupert Murdoch."

In other words, FOX will not get with the program. All the news channels are marching lock step and FOX is telling the truth instead. Rather than convincing people that everything is OK... I'm OK... you're OK... they've ruined everything.

From Politico.

They're firing -- OMG - THEY'RE FIRING!!!

White House Fires Back at Ruling Declaring Obama's Health Care Law Unconstitutional ...

Excerpts:

Senior Obama administration officials told reporters late Monday afternoon that a federal judge's ruling deeming the sweeping health care reform law unconstitutional is "well out of the mainstream of judicial opinion" and predicted it would be overturned on appeal.

Their complaint that the decision was built in part on conjecture was related to passages like this: "Or, as discussed during oral argument, Congress could require that people buy and consume broccoli at regular intervals...Not only because the required purchases will positively impact interstate commerce, but also because people who eat healthier tend to be healthier, and are thus more productive and put less of a strain on the health care system."

That passage, one official said, "does not in any way fit with a traditional Commerce Clause analysis." The official added: "It's really frankly, as I can tell, a scare tactic, and it's not one that any lawyer of any ideological inclination would recognize." The rest here:

Right, cuz you idiotlibs never use the commerce clause to push your agendas.  If not the commerce clause it's the general welfare clause.  Because you think the power of government should be unlimited so you stretch the intent of these clauses to include "any damn thing we tell you to do."

Of course the founding fathers intended for the government to be unlimited.  Anyone can see that in the Constitution.  Especially when it comes to legislating for the greater good.  That's why they wrote the entire constitution instead of just saying "The government can do any thing it damn well pleases ... The end."  Idiotlibs.

The thing that really grabbed my attention though was the headline "White House fires back."  Cuz, seriously, isn't that what you do when a judge rules against you ... you FIRE BACK."  Oh, all the time because ... a judge?  Sheeyit, judges don't mean nuttin to me.  

But think about this phrase ... to describe it this way, first the media has to interpret the ruling as "firing at Obama."  When, in reality, the ruling was an interpretation of the government's power according to the Constitution.

It goes without saying that the media would interpret this as "hostile firing" against their fellow communists big government and pass that attitude along to you in a headline.  You're not supposed to notice the bias ... baaaaa, bleat.  I mean, please,  how's the government supposed to control everything you do if these courts keep "firing" at them?