Ha ha ha, HYS-terical

So some dipsticks wrote some childrens' books  entitled "Why mommy/daddy is a Democrat."  They seem to have left out the "Because mommy/daddy is a brain-dead vegetable" part.

Oh look, there are flowers and a butterfly by daddy ... just like there are in Equallia/Utopia. (Note: "Equallia" is a Simpsons reference.)

Yes kids, we ALL need to "play by the rules."  Not only that but WE need to set the rules by which everyone "plays."  That's right kids, we can't just leave people alone to be free and do as they wish (as long as they aren't hurting others) ... we need to get in there and tell them what to do with their lives and how to live ... and how much they should pay to support us while we make up more rules.   

Yes, children, that's right ... and we don't just do it for a few years out of your life either, we do it for your ENTIRE life.  You'll get to the end and see how we've stolen your life but remember, we only did it for your own good.

Think of others and yourselves as slaves for life ... this goes for your own children too ... remember kids, everyone needs to play by OUR rules because we're better and smarter than other people.

Yes, sometimes "The Earth" feels sick.  We can't prove it but we say we can.  We do a lot of talking and "proving" by stealing money from other people and then giving it to our friends to  conduct "scientific studies."  Even though our friends are totally neutral, somehow, their "studies" always agree with us ... isn't that funny kids?  The reason for that is we're all geniuses and we knew the outcome before the "study" was done anyway.  That's right kids, we geniuses are NEVER, EVER wrong.  To tell the truth, the only reason we go through with the charade of "studies" is so we can point to them as "scientific proof."

And how do we get the word out?  Easy-peasey ... all you have to do is look at the news broadcast of your choice.  Isn't it sweet of the media to help us out.  Remember kids, always believe what the media tells you.  The media really cares about you.

My friend Kevin sent me this link in email.  If I know him, he was laughing like hell when he sent it to me.  You can click here if you need to purge and haven't vomited yet.

So fuckin' special.

People’s champion Bernie Sanders fights for your right to work harder for less money

Bernie Sanders is a socialist from Vermont. What is so special about that, you might ask? Nothing. But, unlike all but one other person from Vermont, Bernie is also a United States Senator. This makes his whole existence as an authoritarian all the more troubling to you, us and everybody else in the country.

Bernie, you see, has the power to steal from some citizens, give those ill-gotten gains to other citizens and then collect votes for being the middleman. And that’s exactly what Sanders has been up to this week.

Sanders is good at what he does. He’s been at it a long time and has mastered the one thing necessary to sustain this sort of scam – the art of double speak.

For that reason Sanders uses terminology like “fairness” and “for the children” while he seeks to saddle those children with trillions more in debt. At the same time, he seeks to punish those whom have the audacity to create jobs that diminish dependence on government.

Make no mistake, Bernie Sanders has no love for working families. As a socialist there is no greater obstacle to his goals than a strong middle class. Unless maybe it’s a strong upper class.

Here’s Bernie asking the rich “when is enough enough?” Mayhaps he should ask the same question of public sector unions instead.

By the way, this video is from CSPAN-2. CSPAN is awesome. It is like ESPN for smart people.

- Written by Kip Hooker at TheVitaminPress.com

FOX Viewers are STUPID!

Click the image to read the full article but really, the only one that's worth your time is the last one.

 

 

 

"Earmarks" in the Omnibus Spending Bill

Interesting - the top two "earmarkers" are Republicans from the same state. This does not show the amounts requested (I think these 2 hooligans are about $6 million), and Mitch McConnell, while low on the number of earmarks, ranks high on the amount of our cash. Help please in finding the dollar amounts.

We all know what's going to happen.

I just posted it because he hit so nice and hard.



EMBED-Guy Fails To Jump Over Moving Car - Watch more free videos

Our intellectual betters flail again.

 

"Our Moral Schizophrenia
Making arbitrary distinctions between morally equivalent sentient beings."

Really? Arbitrary distinctions? Morally equivalent sentient beings?

This is a clear demonstration of our intellectual betters "helping" us to see things clearly. See, if you don't see things their way, they give you the once over and wonder why you didn't already know this. Unfortunately, a desire to belong can outweigh common sense for too many people and they start thinking statements like this make sense. Of course, if you overtly disagree, you're called a sadist.

The truth though is that anyone who is alert would easily distinguish between the two groups. The first group represents animals which are intelligent, friendly and taste horrible. The second group represents animals which are dumb, self-serving, unfriendly, and not only delicious, but also produce products (eggs, milk, and cheese to name a few) which are delicious. This is perhaps more difficult to understand if you've never been exposed to these first hand. Nevertheless, it's true.

This type of feel-good, everyone deserves a chance type of thinking is mental pollution and only makes it more difficult to not only think clearly, but also to be prosperous. Whether they'll acknowledge it or not, this whole mentality of moving humanity towards Eden (as if Libs believe in the bible at all) will not work... ever. Until they drop the charade, they'll be nothing more than an anchor around the neck of progress and prosperity.

Nerds, to piss off.

fri pins

CHIP IMPLANT ALLOWS TERRORISTS TO SPEAK TO GOD

The implant is specifically designed to be injected in the forehead.

When properly installed, it will allow the terrorist to speak to God.

It comes in various sizes: Generally from .223 to .50 cal.






The exact size of the implant will be selected by a well-trained and
highly skilled technician, who will also make the injection. No
Anesthetic is required.

The implant may or may not be painless. Side effects, like headaches, nausea, aches and pains are extremely temporary.

Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the injection site. In most cases, you won't even notice it.

Please enjoy the security we provide for you.

Best regards,

US Armed Forces

Drunk octopus.

Vaguely Merry Holiday Seasonish.

I'm liking South Carolina's new governor more and more

Haley's exchange with Obama on the Yucca Mountain nuclear waste dump was less complicated.

"The taxpayers of South Carolina have paid $1.2 billion to [develop a plan] to send our nuclear waste to Yucca Mountain," she said.

"I asked him if he would consider honoring the federal commitment and allow waste to go to Yucca Mountain. His answer was no.

"He went on to the fact that they feel like they had safety concerns. He was pretty adamant that was not an option that was on the table."

Haley then made a direct demand.

"Then give us our money back," she told Obama.

"He said that he would have [Energy] Secretary Chu call me." More here:

"Give us our money back" -- LMAO!! Sure they will.  Thieves always return your money once they're caught.

"Stimulus" - very stimulating

WHO: The National Science Foundation

WHAT: Gave a $141,002 federal stimulus grant to Montana State University to fund a six-week, student trip to Hangzhou, China, to study dinosaur eggs and other fossils.

WHY IT'S AN OUTRAGE: The students found ample time to experience Chinese culture and explore on taxpayers' money, but the dinosaur eggs did not hatch any new jobs. From here:

Yes, it's quite a mystery why the "stimulus" didn't work.   Why, if I didn't know any better I'd say every time congress yells "STIMULUS," they really mean "FREE MONEY I CAN  GIVE TO MY BUDDIES AND MY CONSTITUENTS WILL THINK I'M DOING IT FOR THEIR OWN GOOD."

Ha ha, shut up you idiots.  It's not your money, it's the government's money.  Besides, it's just a "drop in the bucket."  Have you ever noticed that, according to intellectual geniuses libs, anything/everything government does is just a "drop in the bucket."  In other words, you need to realize you cannot do anything to stop the government from spending money ... the task is just too large.  That's right, you'd have to work from now 'till doomsday to stop even a millionth of all the "drops."  Therefore you should just give up.  You got that, you moron?  Why, you're an idiot for even THINKING you could make a difference. 

Now that I've brought you to your senses, let me also remind you that all spending bills must originate in the House of Representatives.  Did you get that?  I said ALL SPENDING BILLS MUST ORIGINATE IN THE HOUSE.  Lucky for you the intellectual geniuses Democratics have been in charge of the congress for most of the last century.  The spreadsheet below is a visual representation of the last sixty years or so and which party has been in control of congress.  Here's how it looks.  The blue is control by actual intellectual geniuses Democratics and the red is control by idiot Republicans who only THINK they're intellectual geniuses Democratics.

Remember, when a party controls congress and they "implement" a program, they try to institutionalize the program.  That is to say, they get to give all their buddies jobs in the new program and they give those jobs to people who share their same political viewpoints.  Every new program gives congress more power to hand out cushy, well paying, government jobs.  This is one of the main things congress does and one of the main reasons people seek congressional office.

Institutionalizing also means most of these programs continue to grow every year without any further voting from congress (so they don't have to be accountable to voters.)  That's right, they automatically get more and more and more money every year ... you know ... just like you do in your paycheck.  That's "normal" so stop  bitching.  You think Social Security and Medicare are growing now?  You've seen nothing.  Wait until you get a load of health care.

Oh well, at least we're getting a good return from the NEA/Teachers unions.  Just LOOK at the geniuses our schools are putting out ... makes me so proud.  And yet I notice that they're shocked every time one of these little Einsteins shows up with a shotgun and commences to  letting them reap what they've sown giving them what they deserve.  Ah, it's probably wrong to put all the blame on the teachers/schools ... we should put the blame where it really belongs ... on the tort system.  Teachers aren't allowed to discipline kids anymore, they'll be sued.  

They=the teacher, the school, the government, and anyone else a lawyer can possibly think of in order to maximize his profits.  Come to think of it, "BIG LAW" seems to be the only profit making entity the libs won't call "evil."  Wait, I can think of another one off the top of my head, "BIG RED GREEN."

While I'm thinking about "BIG LAW" my guess is that 99% of the stupid policies in your company  are in place to prevent being sued, am I right?  Have you ever heard "we do that because someone filed a lawsuit one time and it cost ... blah blah blah."

Anyway, the Republicans just won control of the house starting in January 2011.  Do you think they will make any changes?

Here are my thoughts.  What is the best predictor of future behavior? (Answer: past behavior.)  What is the recent history of Republicans?  (Answer: They spend like drunken Democratics.)

Therefore I will be surprised if they make any meaningful changes.  I think most of government has been institutionalized and I don't see the Republicans changing their current leadership therefore I don't see how these new freshmen in the house can make a bit of difference.

Now, if they get in there and start firing the current leadership asshats and replace them with some of the Tea Party freshmen, then yes, we'll get some change, but until then, no, we'll get more of the same.

My guess is the current leadership can't WAIT to get in there and start handing out jobs and contracts to all their favorite buddies.   Oh, also, let's not forget, WE GOTTA GO AFTER THOSE ABORTION PEEPS!!  NEVER MIND TORT REFORM ... GO GETCHER PITCHFORKS, WE GOTTA ENFORCE GOD'S WILL ... HE'S TOO BUSY TO DO IT HIMSELF ... THIS IS CRUCIAL GOVERNMENT BUSINESS!!!

Matt Damon. Lib.

For the record, I'm a fan of Matt Damon's work. I'm not, however, a fan of this message. Clearly, he's been spending too much time with Hollywood-types who have convinced him that he has a greater calling than merely filling movie theaters and selling DVD's. I'm not sure what it is about actors that they're so easily convinced that the gap between emoting and being a statesman is minor enough that any among them can make the leap. Considering that Susan Sarandon and Tim Robbins were widely considered to be "the smart ones", we really shouldn't expect too much from the group as a whole, right?

I mean, for the most part, it's true- nobody wants gifts they don't want. I frankly believe there's too much gift giving to adults who neither want, nor need most of the junk they get at holiday time. Furthermore, "gag gifts" are only funny to the giftor. I personally treat gag gifts the same way I do junk mail- I drop it in the garbage pail without it ever making its way into the house. I'm 40 something and at this point, I figure people should know better than to give me anything that gave them a chuckle and if they don't, I'm not going to waste precious storage space to hold their junk. "Sorry".

Anyway, awful gifts aside, they're merely a front for his "message" about water.org.



"We at water.org came up with what we think is a great idea... my brother and his artist colleagues designed this water bottle... 100% of the profits from this water bottle will go to water.org to help bring clean water to people all over planet earth"

Let's take a closer look at his statements.

1. "We at water.org"- We're a group, a team, something to which to belong... a herd. This is incredibly attractive to Libs who really just want to belong... to something... anything.

2. We came up with a great idea- Okay... a metal water bottle... great idea but really? YOU came up with this? No. It's an old idea. Granted there are way too many plastic bottles filling land fills and reusable water bottles are a great way to mitigate that problem but don't go taking credit where it isn't due. I mean, Libs will buy it hook line and sinker but to the rest of us- the thinkers- it looks ridiculous to take credit for old technology. What's next? Telling everyone at your high school reunion that you invented Post-it Notes?

3. "My brother and his artist colleagues"- No doubt- Libs love nepotism- that fact is well established but "artist colleagues"? Libs would paint a picture of artists as people lounging in the parlor of a relative's mansion wearing artist smocks and berets while smoking dubious cigarettes held in any fashion which excludes the index finger but that's not how real artists are... that's how poseurs are. Real artists don't design water bottles and they don't consider themselves colleagues. Professors, PhD's, dilettantes and drama queens consider themselves colleagues. Artists are too busy fighting their own demons to waste their time with that kind of crap.

4. "100% of the profits from this water bottle will go to water.org"- In other words, 100% of the profits from this product we've created and are selling will go to- wait for it- ... US! I mean, that's so super-clever. They're telling you what every capitalist already knows- the profits go to the profit-maker. But they figure that since they're saying it explicitly, you'll think "there must be something more to it". They're right- if you're a Lib. The rest of us just hear what they say and realize that they're making profits and keep them and you're left thinking they're doing something righteous. They're not. They're making money and smiling. It's capitalism under an overwrought veil of humanitarianism.

5. "to help bring clean water to people all over planet earth"- Aw- that's so sweet. They're not selling clean water- they're bringing it. Of course, someone is going to pay for it and somehow, I doubt it's going to be water.org footing the bill. "Planet earth"- that is so sweet... it's so much more humany than saying "the world". They never miss an opportunity to remind you that it's our planet and it's our responsibility to protect her.

Yeesh.

Mark Levin's book gets omitted.

Barbara Walters interviewed Sarah Palin. One of the questions asked which books she's read or is reading. Part of Mrs. Palin's response was Mark Levin's book, "Liberty and Tyranny" but any mention of that book was omitted from her response.

You can call the omission what you want but the history between Mrs. Walters and Mr. Levin make it seem like it was something personal. Hopefully, we'll see a case of the Streisand Effect and Mr. Levin's book receives the attention it deserves.

fri pins

Russian Bride Looking for Man.

This looks like so much fun! What could possibly go wrong?

(I too was disappointed that nothing went wrong).

New Miss TSA Calendar

My friend Kevin sent me this in email.  I just gave you the first two months to wet your whistle.