UPDATE on Oprah / Church

I heard today (on Mark Levin's show - dated about March 20) that Oprah resigned from the "Reverend, man of God," Jeremiah Wright's church. Wanted to set the record straight.

Slick bald doofus cries about Fox News

From Newsbusters:

It appears MSNBC's Dan Abrams is shamefully mimicking colleague Keith Olbermann's somewhat successful strategy to bring in viewers by belittling his competition.

Think of it as the largely unwatched liberal media member's "If you can't beat 'em, bash 'em" motif.

Despite how pathetic it is, it's certainly worked for Olbermann, whose incessant invective aimed at Bill O'Reilly -- interspersed, of course, between vitriolic rants against any politician with an "R" after his or her name, especially if it ends with "Bush" -- has nearly doubled the "Countdown" host's audience to almost a cool million.

Now, the man that used to be Olbermann's boss -- mired in his own viewership slump as he continually gets trounced in his time slot by "Hannity & Colmes" to the tune of four to one! -- has decided to adopt the former sportcaster's strategy as evidenced by the following partial transcript of Wednesday's "Verdict." More here:

Ok -- I have some things to say:
1 - Hey, Abrams, you dumbass, you always get your ass kicked in the ratings, when are you going to resign?

2 - Hey, Abrams, you're a bald jackass -- what's with that squirrel on top of your head. It's ruining a "pristine" slick spot.

3 - Why don't you go have some drinks with that idiot Olbermann -- you know -- you can commiserate -- remember when one of his girlfriends said he was hung like a tack? Both of you idiots get trounced by Fox -- why -- because you're both braying jackass liberals -- er, I mean "objective jourrrrrnalists."

Hey - Obama, Hillary, - get his ass

From Newsbusters:

Some more pieces of the "How Al Gore is Going to Become Amazingly Wealthy by Selling Climate Hysteria" puzzle came together Friday when the Silicon Valley venture capital firm he's now a part of announced a $500 million investment in green technologies.

Making matters more delicious, the firm already has investments in many of the same companies Gore admitted in March he has a stake in.

Howcum I don't hear the libs screaming to take his "windfall profits?" For that matter, both of those nitwits are zillionaires -- why aren't they donating their windfall profits. I wanna take those profits and use them to drill in some pristine wilderness. Don't you love how the libs always use the word "pristine." Where are we SUPPOSED to drill, jackasses ... in downtown LA?

Blondes know how to bury poles

Found this at Grouchy Old Cripple:

Back in the old west, there was a need to connect the east and the west with a telegraph line. The manager of the project advertised for workers to complete the job. Three groups responded. A team of Irishmen, a group of Italians, and a final team composed of blondes.

Since none of the groups would work with anyone from the other two groups, the project supervisor decided to assign each group to a different part of the line, and then see which team set the most poles.

The first task was to set the poles. The supervisor sent each group out to a different location. Before they left, he advised all three groups that the one to bury the most poles today, would receive a bonus.

At the end of the day, the foreman of the Italians reported back to the supervisor. The supervisor inquired of him how many poles had been set by his team. He answered 48. The supervisor was delighted. He advised the Italian to stay awhile until he heard how the Irishmen and the blondes had done...

Next to report was the foreman of the Irishmen group. When asked, he reported that they had set 53 poles that day. Again the supervisor was thrilled. He dismissed the Italian foreman and asked the Irishman to remain until the blondes checked in.

A little while later the blonde forewoman reported to the supervisor.

"How many poles did your group set?" He asked.

"Two." replied the blonde forewoman.

"What! Just, two!" exclaimed the supervisor. "The Italians set 48 poles, and the Irishmen set 53. How could you blondes have only set two poles?"

"It may be true the Italians and Irishmen buried more poles than us," replied the blonde. "But you should see how much of the poles those bozos left sticking out of the ground

Why weren't they killed? WHY??

Dipshit Boyette

Shithook Morales

Clinton, N.C. — Two men were arrested Wednesday after their homemade bomb exploded prematurely, injuring both, authorities said.

Acting on an anonymous tip, Sampson County deputies found a Chevrolet minivan outside Sampson Regional Medical Center with a side window blown out and blast marks on the outside of a door, authorities said.

Inside the hospital emergency room, Martin Bryant Boyette and Julio Frentez Morales were receiving treatment for injuries from a bomb blast, authorities said. An investigation determined that the pair had made several bombs at Boyette's house, where both lived, and Morales tried to throw one out the window of the minivan on U.S. Highway 701 as they drove past Hobbton Schools, authorities said.

The bomb went off in Morales' hand, seriously injuring him, and a piece of shrapnel hit Boyette in the back of the head, authorities said. More here:

Border walls never work

Excerpts - more here:

NETANYA, Israel: Suicide bombings in Israel have dropped off so significantly that the nation's security officials now dare to speak openly of success. But the very steps they are taking to thwart bombers appear to collide head on with the government's agenda of achieving peace with the Palestinians.

Israel also started building the West Bank security barrier in 2002, describing it as an answer to the suicide bombers. Made up mostly of fences and some sections of wall, the barrier is now about two-thirds complete. Security officials say it has proved very effective as an aid, but they do not rely on it alone.

Hmmm -- suicide bombers sneaking silently into Israel was a problem -- so they built a wall -- and now the bombings are way down. Well -- it probably wasn't the wall, right libs? We don't want to get into any "Post hoc, ergo propter hoc" logic problems, do we?

It's prolly because the terrorists stopped trying -- you know -- out of the goodness of their hearts.

Yay! Hillary helping the poor.

MUNSTER, Ind. (AP) - Hillary Rodham Clinton called for a vote Friday in the Democratic-controlled Congress on a summertime suspension of the federal gasoline tax, a plan that Barack Obama dismissed as a political stunt that would cost thousands of construction jobs.

"It's a Shell game. Literally," Obama said to laughter from his campaign audience, adding it would mean little for hard-pressed consumers. More here:

Well -- sorry -- gotta agree with Obama on this one. I mean, I love a tax cut but this is just baloney. Seriously, if you don't recognize this as blatant pandering, then ...

Now -- you have to ask yourself, is Hillary so stupid that she thinks we won't recognize this as pandering? Because, if she's not, then what does that tell you?

By the way, can you imagine the paperwork/tax calculation nightmare this will create from the oil companies to the gas stations? It probably won't cost them one penny to comply with this clusterf__k. Right? It's all free -- FREE!!!

Objective "reporter" gets hopes up

From the New York Times:

INDIANAPOLIS — Until now, Shirley Morgan had always been the kind of voter the Republican Party thought it could count on. She comes from a family of staunch Republicans, has a son in the military and has supported Republican presidential candidates ever since she cast her first ballot, for Richard M. Nixon in 1972.

But this year Mrs. Morgan exemplifies a different breed: the Republican crossing over to vote in the Democratic primary. Not only will she mark her ballot for Senator Barack Obama in the May 6 primary here, but she has also been canvassing for him in the heavily Republican suburbs of Hamilton County, just north of Indianapolis — the first time she has ever actively campaigned for a candidate.

“I used to like John McCain, but he’s aligning himself too closely with what Bush did, and that’s just not what I want for this country,” Mrs. Morgan, who is 56, said when asked to explain her rejection of the presumptive Republican nominee. More here:

Ha ha - "staunch Republican" - have you ever heard of a "staunch Democrat?" No? I didn't think so. How about a "lifelong Democrat voting Republican" -- ever hear of that? No? I didn't think so.

Yes -- this is the famous "lifelong Republicans are voting for Democrats and you should too -- baaaa bleat" story. Every election these "reporters" do these stories -- you know -- because it's sooooooo twooooo --- soooo twoooo.

What? What?

COLUMBUS, Ohio (AP) - Just 16 months into his four-year-term, Ohio's attorney general admitted he was in over his head as he acknowledged an affair with a subordinate and his failure to stop problems that led to a sexual harassment investigation that brought down three of his aides.

Marc Dann apologized to his wife and supporters but insisted he would not step down. He took responsibility for the scandal, saying he was not prepared for the office or to run such a large agency.

"I did not create an atmosphere in my public and personal life that is consistent with the important mission of the Office of Attorney General," the Democrat said Friday after the three aides were fired or forced out in the harassment investigation. "I am heartbroken by my failure to recognize the problems being created and by my failure to stop them." More here:

Holy incompetence, Batman. This guy is costing his state a kazillion dollars due to sexual harassment lawsuits -- he admits he doesn't know wtf he is doing -- and YET -- he refuses to "step down."

At least the objective reporter only took three paragraphs to identify the party affiliation.

LMAO -- hey -- Ohio peeps -- no biggie -- nice job electing a dumbass.

You gotta admire this guy though cuz his position is:

I don't know what I'm doing and I'm screwing up all over the place but I'm not resigning -- I'll be right here -- cashing my checks. Hey -- how you like the shark-tooth hankie in my pocket? I looked a long time to find one.

I wonder, I wonder

When Barack Obama needed Oprah Winfrey’s help, she delivered.

When he needed an infusion of campaign cash, she threw a star-studded fundraiser last summer at her California estate. When he needed a big-name draw in the early-primary states, she addressed massive crowds in Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina.

And when Obama was looking for a late boost in a critical Super Tuesday state, Winfrey was once again there for him, giving up her Sunday afternoon for a Los Angeles rally.

Oprah could be an important asset, said Jennifer Duffy, an analyst with the nonpartisan Cook Political Report. In North Carolina, she could act as a counterweight to a Clinton ad featuring Maya Angelou and reassure African-American voters after the Wright controversy (even though she has reportedly attended services at Trinity United Church of Christ in the past). In Indiana, she could appeal to white working-class women. More here:

I see -- so she attended the same church. I wonder if she's a member of that church. I wonder if she met him at that church. I wonder if she plans to go to the church again. No sense wondering -- the objective media will never ask -- unless she starts supporting conservatives -- then we'll learn ALL about it.

Hey, what happinked here ?

From the Fail Blog:

No need to guess the party affiliation

NEW YORK (AP) - entertainmentminute After three decades of keeping mum, Barbara Walters is disclosing a past affair with married U.S. Senator Edward Brooke, whom she remembers as "exciting" and "brilliant."

Appearing on "The Oprah Winfrey Show" scheduled to air Tuesday, Walters shares details of her relationship with Brooke that lasted several years in the 1970s, according to a transcript of the show provided to The Associated Press.

A moderate Republican from Massachusetts who took office in 1967, Brooke was the first African-American to be popularly elected to the Senate. Both he and Walters knew that public knowledge of their affair could have ruined his career as well as hers, Walters says. More disgustment here:

Uh-huh -- and he was "moderate, why? Cuz he was banging some lib jourrrrnalist? Are there any "moderate" Democrats? No, I didn't think so.

Hey -- Baba Wawa -- did you ever ruin anyone's career by "exposing" them? If you did, why did you ruin theirs and not yours?

UPDATE: Ace addresses this on his blog also -- with the title of "IT'S TWOO, IT'S TWOO." Now how in the hell did I let that one get by me?

How embarrassking

A Long Island music shop owner accused of selling knockoff Gibson Les Paul guitars has been arraigned in a pickup truck in a courthouse parking lot after his lawyer said the 500-pound defendant couldn't walk into the courthouse.

State Supreme Court Justice Robert Doyle said the man's "severe weight problem" prompted the unusual proceeding Thursday in Riverhead. A defense lawyer also had given the court a doctor's letter saying the defendant suffers from osteoarthritis.

The shopkeeper has been released without bail after pleading not guilty to trademark counterfeiting and criminal simulation. He says the case and health problems have forced him to close his store.

He's accused of selling bogus Gibsons for $1,500 to buyers who thought they were far more valuable genuine versions of the classic electric guitar.

Windfall profits - Greevil rich

May 1 (Bloomberg) -- Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama's proposal for a windfall profits tax on oil companies could cost $15 billion a year at last year's profit levels, a campaign adviser said.

The plan would target profit from the biggest oil companies by taxing each barrel of oil costing more than $80, according to a fact sheet on the proposal. The tax would help pay for a $1,000 tax cut for working families, an expansion of the earned- income tax credit and assistance for people who can't afford their energy bills. More here:

Uh-huh -- and where in the constitution does it define "windfall profit?" Do we have free enterprise in this country?

Look -- these oil companies have operated on the same 8-10% profit margin for 100 years -- they have stock holders who have been promised a return on their investment -- if the government steals their profits, they'll raise prices -- simple -- so the genius lib, Barack Obama will be stealing YOUR money instead. Seriously, what is so hard to understand?

If you're having a tough time with this concept, read this book "Eat the Rich, a Treatise on Economics." Click here to buy it you dumb lib.

Friday pins

Close, but no Saguaro

(CNN) — Ron Paul’s loyal supporters helped him set campaign fundraising records and capture more delegates during his presidential run than some of his high-profile Republican rivals. They even managed to briefly shut down Nevada’s GOP convention earlier this month over a rules change controversy.

Now they’ve taken his latest book to the top of the Amazon.com bestseller list.

“The Revolution: A Manifesto”, released earlier this month, is currently No. 1 on the Web site’s list of top sellers, besting even Oprah’s latest Book Club selection.

“Despite a media blackout, this septuagenarian physician-turned-congressman sparked a movement that has attracted a legion of young, dedicated, enthusiastic supporters . . . a phenomenon that has amazed veteran political observers and made more than one political rival envious,” boasts the book’s product description, adding: “Candidates across America are already running as ‘Ron Paul Republicans.’”

The Klown strongly agrees with 90% of his positions and ideas; however, he is SUCH a looneytoon on the other 10%, I canna vote for him.

Lady is about to be sued

Memphis, TN - Attorneys for the American Civil Liberties Union say Daphne Beasley, the principal of Hollis F. Price Middle College High School in South Memphis, went way beyond her role as educator.

The ACLU says in September 2007, Beasley asked her staff to give her the names of students who were couples, heterosexual and homosexual, because she wanted to keep an eye on them to cut down on public displays of affection.

Ok -- NO -- you don't need names to identify PDA -- all you need to do is walk down the hall. It is none of your business who is coupled with whom, jackass.

She's accused of publicly posting the names of those students, including two boys, Andrew and Nicholas, who had just started dating. The ACLU says that in doing so, Beasley revealed their relationship to other students, teachers and even their parents.

"I really feel that my personal privacy was invaded," Nicholas says. "I mean, Principal Beasley called my mother and outed me to my mother!" More here:

WTF is wrong this these idiots? She's humiliating people -- calls his mom and outs him -- for what reason? You know -- they're telling kids all kinds of shit that they have no right to tell them -- and yet, they can't tell kids about the founding of our country, the importance of freedom and private property etc -- NOoooo - just give me the names of the couples.

I'd have gone on a much longer rant about this but this appears to be a private school -- so it's between the school and its customers. No worry, it won't be long before a public school does something stupid. And then? -- I shall vent.

Mobile phone tracker

My friend Robin sent me this in email.

You enter a cell phone number and this thing tracks the phone to within 10 feet. Pretty cool. Click here to track a phone.

How in the hell do they do this?

Found it at J-Walk:

Shame - one less asshat in the world

The Klown salutes this homeowner and hopes he does not lose one minute's sleep over the early demise of this societal dreg. Further, the Klown hopes that the shitstain burglar lived long enough to hear himself gurgle his own blood.

You know -- I can't stop laughing -- because, when the cops tell you to freeze, they don't really mean it -- you can run and run -- I know -- I see it on TV all the time. So -- I can see this dumbass burglar thinking "screw this, I don't have to freeze -- BANG BANG BANG -- Oh oh -- I wish I would have froze." Ha ha ha ha -- tough shitski, jackass, see ya -- oh wait -- no I won't.