Tuesday, October 25, 2011

How to speak Republican: A Dictionary.

I found this to be not only funny but also very telling. As you read this consider well that it says much more about the distorted views of Liberals than it does about actual Republicans. Of course, it's always easier (and more entertaining) to assault the extremists than it is to attack the truth.
  • America (United States of): A country located in the N. Western Hemisphere that is #1.
  • Bible: A sacred text that provides incontestable answers when thumped.
  • Birth Certificate: An official birth record required of all US Presidents, regardless of race, since 2008.
  • Capitalism: A system of economic organization that has never been attempted.
  • Christmas: A holiday commemorating the birth of Jesus Christ, now rarely celebrated due to persecution by atheists.
  • Compromise: (uncommon) A form of political suicide.
  • Coast (East): A very bad coast of the continental United States.
  • Coast (West): Another really inexcusable coast.
  • Communism: The belief that the government should ever do anything.
  • Condescending: Accurately informed.
  • Constitution (U.S.): The hallowed founding document of the United States, the text of which must be interpreted strictly and amended immediately.
  • Corporations: Large people who are overtaxed.
  • Elitist: Qualified.
  • Endangered Species: Animals that have it coming.
  • Evolution: A theory of human origins that is out there.
  • Extremist (Liberal): Espousing or adhering to political beliefs that are held by only a majority of Americans.
  • Forest (National): Trees that have it coming.
  • Gut: Region of the body from which decisions should be made.
  • Homosexuality: A membership-only lifestyle organization that perpetuates itself through youth recruitment.
  • Hitler: A man to whom it would be inappropriate to compare President Obama in spite of the many uncanny similarities.
  • Jesus: Charismatic religious leader and son of God; born in Bethlehem in the year 0; beliefs include love, charity, enhanced interrogation, privatized healthcare, elimination of the estate tax, and the right to carry concealed semiautomatic weapons.
  • Liberal: A person who should be rounded up and shot but not really.
  • Marxism: A political and economic philosophy developed by Karl Marx and promulgated by Paul Krugman.
  • Medicare: A fraudulent, socialistic boondoggle that is sacrosanct.
  • Mexicans: Brown people who have it coming.
  • Mountaintops: Ancient rock formations that have it coming.
  • Muslims: Brown people who have it coming.
  • News: Fox News
  • Organic: Eaten by lesbians.
  • Party (Tea): A grass-roots movement of patriotic Americans fighting for the principle of “No Taxation With Representation.”
  • Poverty: The condition of having inadequate financial or material resources due to not trying hard enough.
  • Propaganda: The politically motivated dissemination of biased information, opinion, or data through its publication in the New York Times.
  • Racism: A form of discrimination that typically happens in reverse.
  • Regulation: Rules issued by a government agency for no reason.
  • Scientist: A person who employs a rigorous system of observation, experiment, measurement, and verification to perpetuate his Godless left-wing agenda.
  • Taxes: Levies imposed by the government that raise more revenue the lower they are.
  • Terrorist: A person to whom a person who threatens to destroy the U.S. economy unless his demands are met should not be compared.
  • Wealthy (the): People who earned every penny.
  • Warming (Global): An anomalous, anthropogenic increase in the earth’s atmospheric and oceanic temperatures that isn’t happening.
  • Yes: (no translation available)
I guess the most troubling of these entries is that the author thinks of Mexicans and Muslims as "brown people".
From Consciousness is Congenital Hallucination.

1 comment:

Evil_Klown said...

The guy sure spent a lot of time to attempt to ridicule his political opponents.

Do you think this genius would leave you alone to enjoy your God-given freedom or do you think he has lots of plans for you?

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