Let me just start by saying ... HOLY TOLEDO!!
Now, if you know me, you know I am not the type to engage in "Black Friday" type behavior. In fact, I don't think I've ever done that "Day after Thanksgiving" shopping thing in my life ... but today was different. Here's the story.
I was going to buy a netbook computer for my wife and had done all my research online. I found a reasonable buy on this one at Walmart.com
A-is-A had come over and showed his netbook to my wife and she loved it ... LOVED IT. Part of the attraction/charm of the netbook is it is smaller and easier to carry around, doesn't take up much room on the kitchen table, on and on ... oh, did I mention the netbook was PURPLE? Yes, purple ... my honey loved it (she's a big fan of purple & pink.) Ok, so I went online and loaded my shopping cart with the netbook, a matching purple mouse, and a wireless router ... all set, right?
Well, while I was doing my research I reconsidered the netbook and started thinking about a notebook (bigger than a netbook) instead. Why? Because as I looked around I noticed that the notebooks had double the RAM and also included DVD drives (not to mention bigger screens/keyboards, etc. I started thinking I may have to/want to use this machine at times and it might be better to have some of the characteristics of a laptop.
Ok, so I find this laptop by checking out the Black Friday circular for Walmart.
I also took note of the 32: LCD TV for $198. I'm thinking, "Hmmmm, perhaps I'll just leave my items in my shopping cart and see if I can get one of these laptops on Black Friday ... if not, I'll just come home and hit 'checkout' and be done with it." Note the sale starts at 5AM.
I figured, if I could get one, I'd just go to skinit.com and get this hot pink skin for it and she'd be in business.
Now 5AM is NOT a problem for me as I am usually up at 4 or 4:30. So I'm up at 4AM, I gets some coffee (which is rare for me,) I gets my stuff together and I'm out the door at 4:30 for the 20 minute drive to Walmart and my first Black Friday experience.
On the way up there, I start thinking "Hey, I'm going to buy five of each of these if there's no limit and then sell the extras on Craig's list ... that way I get mine for free." Ohhhh, this was superior thinnin' on my part (even more superior to my usual genius level of thinnin') and I smugly take a sip of my coffee.
Anyway, the first thing I notice is all the traffic on the roads. Don't forget, I'm up early most of the time and usually on the road at 6AM in the summer and the roads are mostly deserted . Today I noticed it was busier than usual ... MUCH busier ... and the closer I got, the more traffic there was. I pull in the parking lot about 4:50AM and it's full of cars and activity. I stopped to let a poor lady in a wheelchair cross in front of me and she gave me a big smile and a wave. I think she had been sitting there a while ... sort of tucked in to keep from getting McSmushed.
I finds a spot, parks 'er (in between the constant stream of humanity) and here we go ... IT'S ON, BABY, IT'S ON! I make my way through the racing track parking lot, grab a cart and enter the store and guess what ... it's utter ... UTTER ... PANDEFUCKINMONIUM!!
I didn't take the pic above but it is representative of what I saw.
Ok, while I'm thinking about it, the last 10,000 times I've been to Walmart, I've failed to get a cart without a flat spot on the wheel ... so as you go through the store it sounds like you're hitting the cart with a hammer every two seconds. You know ... bang, bang, bang ... I mean, WTF?
Also, all the entrance/lobbies at Walmart have a rough tile entryway so there is no way to judge whether you have a bad wheel until you roll it onto the smooth tile of the store, and then it's too late ... GOTCHA AGAIN, JACKASS!!! Seriously, how do these carts get the flat spots on the wheels? Is it from the cart attendants dragging them sideways once they get a bunch all carted up? Does someone hang out in Walmart's parking lot and smack them with hammers? I don't know, it's a mystery, ain't it?
Well, there were abandoned carts everywhere ... EVERYWHERE ... so I kept trying to trade mine but they were all the same. About halfway to the back of the store where they keep the electronics, the lines started. And it was impossible to tell which line you were in. Turns out there were two main lines, one for the cameras/photo dept and one for the computer/tv department. I deduced this after being in line for about 5 minutes (not moving) and deciding to abandon my cart for some advanced recon. Turns out I was in the wrong line. I come back, get my cart, go WAY around (waves hand way around) the store and get in the proper line. I'm guessing there were about 50-60 peeps in line. It stretched about halfway back to the front registers.
After about 10 minutes (line moved maybe 2 spots,) I once again decide to abandon my cart and just go check to see if I could determine whether my wait would be productive. It was murder navigating all the people and carts through the aisles. People were getting fingers banged against carts, it was a tight squeeze.
I finally get back there and see a lady ("Pat" was on her name tag) and I asked her "Ma'am, do you still have the $198 laptops?" "Nay" quothe she, "I'm sorry." So I asked about the TV's. "Nay" again, quothe she ... and then ventured "Honey, most people started getting here at 9PM last night and camped out in the aisles (it's a 24-hour store.) She told me that all the tickets for those items had been given out already.
I just shook my head ... it was unreal. What this told me was I had no chance of getting one of those items unless I was willing to camp out all night in a Walmart ... and I'm not willing. I don't know what time they started giving the tickets out and I don't care.
Here are my final thoughts on the matter. If Walmart is breaking even on these items, why don't they stock more? If the idea is to get people in the door and perhaps sell them another item then they should stock more. What's the sense of having such limited quantities. What's the sense in having a big rush at 5AM? And then it's over before it starts ... the store is cleared out in a couple of hours and it's finished. I'm sure they sold a lot of stuff to a lot of people but I think they could sell much more the other way. Not only that but they wouldn't have to have 100 extra employees on for that morning. I was also going to buy a microwave oven but I blew it off because I wasn't going to stand in one of those checkout lines for an item I can buy anywhere.
Ok, so I'm back home and I'm still laughing a bit at my naivete. What a dilettante. I had no idea, none. I got schooled by the cognoscenti.