Friday, February 29, 2008

What the heck?

From Bits and Pieces:


http://view.break.com/410281 - Watch more free videos

Jackass gets killed (or badly hurt)



I may have posted this before but -- God, I tell ya, I JUST LOVE IT!!!.

Brainless morons in Berkeley

This video is about 5 minutes long. It's a video showing the Berkeley idiots at a rally -- protesting the Marines -- hassling the cops etc. In the middle, two college Republicans get spotted. Of course, the peaceful and tolerant lefties come unglued. I'm guessing the majority of the useful idiots in this protest don't even know the rally was put on by openly communist organizations. For these people, facts are not an issue. Looks like a lot of kids skipping school to me.

Cop's last day on job

That crazy hobo

The Simpsons go on vacation -- but Homer has spent the traveling money so they have to hop a ride in a train boxcar. Audio less than one minute.


Ha ha

Geniuses at Berkeley and Columbia Univ



Drake's Plate of Brass is a museum curator's nightmare: A priceless artifact revealed as historians' in-joke gone terribly awry.

The story surrounds a golden plate that Francis Drake reportedly left as a monument when he visited Northern California in 1579. Hoping to fool one of their number, a group of local historians hammered out a fake version in 1936 and planted it near Drake's landing point.

Sure enough, it made its way to the victim, historian George Bolton of Berkeley. Before they could reveal the joke, though, Bolton vouched for the plate's authenticity, engaging the University of California and paying $2,500 for it.

Now that the hoax was so painfully public the conspirators had to move carefully. They tried discreetly to reveal their joke, but then to their horror Columbia University confirmed the plate as genuine. It was added to textbooks; likenesses were sold as souvenirs; copies were presented to Queen Elizabeth II herself on several occasions.

Only 40 years later, after exhaustive testing at Oxford, Lawrence Berkeley Laboratory and MIT, was the plate confirmed as a fake, and it was several years before the whole story was pieced together. The plate is still on display at the Bancroft Library at Berkeley, an embarrassing testament to the gullibility of an excited historian .


Ha ha ... jackasses.

A<>A in Berkeley



In 2002, conceptual artist Jonathon Keats sponsored a petition to get Berkeley, Calif., to acknowledge Aristotle's identity law, commonly expressed as A=A.

His law would impose a misdemeanor fine of up to one-tenth of a cent on anyone or anything caught being unidentical to itself within city limits.

Unfortunately, Keats gathered only 65 signatures and found no backers on the city council. Berkeley, apparently, prefers ambiguity.


Berkeley = Town full of morons

Unbelievable

Saudi professor faces lashes for having coffee with female 'student'

A university professor allegedly caught in a Saudi-style honey trap has been sentenced to 180 lashes and eight months in jail – for having coffee with a girl.

The man, a prominent and well-respected Saudi teacher of psychology at Umm al-Qra University in the holy city of Mecca, was framed by the religious police after he angered some of their members at a training course, his lawyer said.

The academic has not been named by the local media, which have given his case wide coverage, but one senior Saudi journalist said he was Dr Abu Ruzaiz, a married man in his late 50s with children.

“He is highly respected and above-board. Nobody believes the religious police’s version of what happened. The whole of Jeddah (the main city near Mecca) is in uproar about this. Everyone believes he is innocent and was set up,” the journalist said.

Mr Ruzaiz is said to have received a call from a girl purporting to be one of his students who asked to meet to discuss a problem that she did not want to talk about over the phone. The professor agreed to meet at a family café provided she brought along her brother as a chaperone.

When he arrived, he was surprised to find the girl alone, and was promptly surrounded by religious policemen who handcuffed him and hauled him into custody. He was accused of being in a state of khulwa – seclusion – with an unrelated woman. More here:

By the way - they aren't going to use a wet noodle when they lash him either. Can you imagine wasting your entire life in a place like Saudi Arabia? Hell, they got themselves a witch last week -- I blogged it. A witch, for God's sake. Way to live in medieval times, jackasses.

I love freedom. To me, freedom means the government cannot stop me from doing whatever I want, so long as I'm not hurting someone else physically or financially ... or depriving others of their rights. It is my belief that our founding fathers had that idea in mind when they wrote the constitution. It is my opinion that we've strayed FAR from that ideal and the libs want us to stray further still. I despise anyone who wants to use the government to impose his/her beliefs on me.

Hey, I wonder how many lashes I'd get for posting "Friday pins" pics. Seriously -- no wonder those middle eastern peeps are moving here as fast as they can -- do you blame them?

I ask you -- are these people enslaved? They are if their goverment is imposing this on them in their own country. Should we fight to free them? I mean -- why can't those who wish to live like that do so -- and leave others alone?

This is why our constitution was written -- so we would be governed by the rule of law instead of the whim of jackasses.

Ha Ha - Would this work?





I like this guy

I wonder if he deserved it - NSFW

Found it at Small Bits and Pieces:

Ka BOOM -- What wuzzat man?

Found it at Bits and Pieces:



A 56-foot, 60-ton sperm whale died on a beach in Taiwan in January, 2004. Researchers wanted the carcass to perform an autopsy and for research, so they loaded the whale onto a tractor-trailer and set out through the city of Tainan, heading for the Shi-Tsau Natural Preserve. It took 13 hours, three cranes and 50 workers to get the whale loaded on the truck. Unfortunately, on the way through the city, gasses built up to a critical level in the whale and it exploded, spewing whale guts in the street, on the cars and over pedestrians. According to witnesses, the smell was pretty bad. Residents and shop owners put on masks and tried to clean up the mess. Eventually the whale continued it's journey to the research center. Larger and more graphic pics here.

No fair making fun of "Our Boy"

From Newsbusters:

The media’s tender loving care of and hypersensitivity in protection of Barack Obama is going to put a real crimp in attempts at Obama humor.

The latest survey of late-night jokes from the Center for Media and Public Affairs found 17 Obama jokes, about a third of Hillary’s and a tenth of President Bush’s. Then there’s Saturday Night Live.

Chicago Tribune TV critic Maureen Ryan started whining early in the week that Obama should not be impersonated by a white comedian (Fred Armisen). She huffed: "Obama's candidacy gives us solid proof of the progress that African-Americans have made in this country. I guess SNL still has further to go on that front." A reader poll alongside these complaints asked if Obama should be impersonated by an African-American: 74 percent voted for "Doesn’t matter," and a cranky six percent said "no."

But the media elite seems to be in the minority. Friday’s Washington Post carried a story by Paul Farhi further ginning up the "Fauxbama" controversy. He not only carried Ryan’s demand for a black impersonator, but added the radical-left British newspaper The Guardian, which screamed minstrel show:

Haha -- those "objective jourrrrrnalists" sure hate it when someone makes fun of their candidate. You ever hear them bitch when someone makes fun of George Bush? I guess there have NEVER been any jokes about Bush that could be considered "over the line."

Friday pins


Thursday, February 28, 2008

Criminal accidentally targets libtard

Conn. Girl Lights Teacher's Hair On Fire
Jonathan Law High School Student Arrested, Expelled

MILFORD, Conn. (CBS/AP) ― Milford officials expelled a Jonathan Law High School student, who was accused of lighting her science teacher's hair on fire during class.

Police said the girl was arrested after igniting George Lardas' ponytail with a lighter.

A police spokesman said Lardas did not require medical attention, but his hair was singed.

School officals said the incident occurred in late January, but became public on Tuesday.

School officials called police after the incident. The student has been charged with reckless endangerment, third-degree assault and breach of peace.

HaHa -- well -- I was going to go on a rant about this but it looks like the teacher is a libtard (ponytail.) Now look -- I wonder if he is a fat guy ... Because a fat guy with the name 'Lardas' is just asking for it -- combine it with a ponytail and it's irresistible -- combine it with being a lib and, I gotta believe, someone is going to set you on fire -- hope you can run good in those Birkenstocks.

Genius at New Tork Times - Carl Hulse

McCain’s Canal Zone Birth Prompts Queries About Whether That Rules Him Out
By CARL HULSE


WASHINGTON — The question has nagged at the parents of Americans born outside the continental United States for generations: Dare their children aspire to grow up and become president? In the case of Senator John McCain of Arizona, the issue is becoming more than a matter of parental daydreaming.

Mr. McCain’s likely nomination as the Republican candidate for president and the happenstance of his birth in the Panama Canal Zone in 1936 are reviving a musty debate that has surfaced periodically since the founders first set quill to parchment and declared that only a “natural-born citizen” can hold the nation’s highest office.

Almost since those words were written in 1787 with scant explanation, their precise meaning has been the stuff of confusion, law school review articles, whisper campaigns and civics class debates over whether only those delivered on American soil can be truly natural born. To date, no American to take the presidential oath has had an official birthplace outside the 50 states.

“There are powerful arguments that Senator McCain or anyone else in this position is constitutionally qualified, but there is certainly no precedent,” said Sarah H. Duggin, an associate professor of law at Catholic University who has studied the issue extensively. “It is not a slam-dunk situation.”

Mr. McCain was born on a military installation in the Canal Zone, where his mother and father, a Navy officer, were stationed. His campaign advisers say they are comfortable that Mr. McCain meets the requirement and note that the question was researched for his first presidential bid in 1999 and reviewed again this time around. More here:

Well -- it took me all of five minutes googling, but here it is:

The First Congress, on March 26, 1790, approved an act that declared, "The children of citizens of the United States that may be born beyond sea, or outside the limits of the United States, shall be considered as natural-born citizens of the United States." That would seem to include McCain, whose parents were both citizens and whose father was a Navy officer stationed at the U.S. naval base in Panama at the time of John's birth in 1936.

ALSO:
Title 8 of the U.S. Code Section 1401 defines the following as people who are "citizens of the United States at birth:"

Anyone born inside the United States
Any Indian or Eskimo born in the United States, provided being a citizen of the U.S. does not impair the person's status as a citizen of the tribe
Any one born outside the United States, both of whose parents are citizens of the U.S., as long as one parent has lived in the U.S.
Any one born outside the United States, if one parent is a citizen and lived in the U.S. for at least one year and the other parent is a U.S. national
Any one born in a U.S. possession, if one parent is a citizen and lived in the U.S. for at least one year
Any one found in the U.S. under the age of five, whose parentage cannot be determined, as long as proof of non-citizenship is not provided by age 21
Any one born outside the United States, if one parent is an alien and as long as the other parent is a citizen of the U.S. who lived in the U.S. for at least five years (with military and diplomatic service included in this time)
A final, historical condition: a person born before 5/24/1934 of an alien father and a U.S. citizen mother who has lived in the U.S.

So I think we have the answer. Of course, you libtards would rather deny this combat veteran, air force pilot, POW, and US Senator, the right to be President -- but you'd allow it to US born child of illegal immigrants -- right? I love the logic of libs -- you can almost hear the braying before they open their mouths.

*Sniff* - Bad guys are in jail

Report: 1 In Every 99 Americans Now Behind Bars
U.S. Spent More Than $49 Billion On Corrections In 2007

NEW YORK (CBS/AP) ― Don't ask the U.S. prison system if this is indeed "the land of the free."

Boo hoo -- this isn't the land of the free -- for criminals. Criminals deserve freedom too, -- right lib jourrrrnalist?

For the first time in history, more than one in every 100 American adults is in jail or prison, according to a new report tracking the surge in inmate population. And they shouldn't be there -- right, lib jourrrrnalist? We should let them out. We're keeping them AGAINST THEIR WILL.

The report, released Thursday by the Pew Center on the States, said the 50 states spent more than $49 billion on corrections last year, up from less than $11 billion 20 years earlier. The rate of increase for prison costs was six times greater than for higher education spending, the report said. Yes -- if there's one tax I don't object to paying, it's the tax for prisons. If we used any sense at all, the prisoners would have to work -- just like me -- to pay their own way. They would get no television - no radio - no creature comforts -- NONE. Maybe then, when they got out, they wouldna want to return.

Using updated state-by-state data, the report said 2,319,258 adults were held in U.S. prisons or jails at the start of 2008 -- one out of every 99.1 adults, and more than any other country in the world. Great -- now the secret is to keep their asses in there. Also -- people don't usually like the other country's prisons as well as ours and they are likely to try much harder to stay out of them. Not here though -- it's no biggie at all -- nobody sweats going to our prisons. Funny huh? That fact prolly didna occur to you -- did it, lib boy.

By contrast, in mid 2002 the ratio was 1 in 142, with the prison population surpassing 2 million for the first time. Good -- someone is doing something right. Now to make a law against jourrrrrnalists misrepresenting their biased "reporting" maybe we can make it one in 95 jackasses in jail. More here:

Please - PLEASE - KICK MY ASS!!

From Drudge:


President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad declared on Thursday that Iran was the world's "number one" power, as he launched a bitter new assault on domestic critics he accused of siding with the enemy.

"Everybody has understood that Iran is the number one power in the world," Ahmadinejad said in a speech to families who lost loved ones in the 1980-1988 Iran-Iraq war.

"Today the name of Iran means a firm punch in the teeth of the powerful and it puts them in their place," he added in the address broadcast live on state television.

Ahmadinejad's comments come amid renewed Western efforts on the UN Security Council to agree a third package of sanctions against Tehran over its refusal to suspend sensitive nuclear activities.

They also came a day after former top nuclear negotiator Hassan Rowhani launched an unprecedented attack on Ahmadinejad's foreign policy, accusing him of using "coarse slogans and grandstanding".

"You can see how some people here... try to materialise the plans of the enemies and by showing that Iran is small and the enemy is big," added Ahmadinejad.

"These are the people who put the enemies of humanity in the place of God," said the deeply religious president.

He also told the families of the "martyrs" of the war that their loss was not in vain as the message of the Islamic revolution of 1979 that ousted the pro-US shah was spreading all over the world.

"Today the message of your revolution is being heard in South America, East Asia, in the heart of Europe and even in the United States itself," he said.

What the hell is the matter with this guy? Can't he just be content with making sure the women in his country are good and oppressed?

I think we all know someone like this -- a short guy who goes around demanding an ass kicking. For a long time, we refrain -- but he keeps it up and keeps it up until blood is everywhere.

Complete idiot

From The Sun newspaper.

See world's first eyeball tattoo
By DAVE MASTERS
Published: 27 Feb 2008


The freaky procedure was carried out to turn a body-art fan's eye blue.

And it took FORTY insertions of the needle to get the job done.

Volunteer Pauly Unstoppable, from Canada, has perfect vision but jumped at the chance to be the first punter.

See the toe-curling shots in the gallery below. But be warned - the pictures are very graphic.

Click here for the rest of the story and the slideshow.

Very attractive. Yes -- you're really going to get a better class of dates now, dipstick.

Does this "SCREAM" Evil Klown?


GD Liberal media

Who is the Landlo'

My friend Stuart sent this to me. I added the Eddie Murphy Poem.


Dark and lonely on a summer's night.
Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.
Watchdog barking. Do he bite?
Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.
Slip in his window. Break his neck.
Then his house I start to wreck.
Got no reason. What the heck?
Kill my landlord. Kill my landlord.
C-I-L-L my land lord!

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

OH SHEEEYIIIIIIII - POW

From Futility Closet:

Four light aircraft have been flown under the St. Louis arch.

In 1980, Kenneth Swyers tried to parachute onto the span, hoping to jump back off and land on the ground. He slid all the way down one leg and died.

"Against stupidity," wrote Schiller, "the gods themselves contend in vain."

Indeed.

Bonus 1:
A flight attendant once asked Muhammad Ali to fasten his seat belt.

Ali said, "Superman don't need no seat belt."

The attendant replied, "Superman don't need no airplane, either."



Bonus 2:


The school cheer of MIT is:

"Cosine, secant, tangent, sine! - 3 point 1 4 1 5 9!"

Pied piper -- Ok - but WTF is "Pied?"

PIED: (having sections or patches colored differently and usually brightly) "a jester dressed in motley"; "the painted desert"; "a particolored dress"; "a piebald horse"; "pied daisies"

My thoughts exactly

Found it at Futility Closet:


"A cucumber should be well sliced, and dressed with pepper and vinegar, and then thrown out, as good for nothing." — Samuel Johnson

Simpsonized Klown

Found it at Spiralpocus:

I uploaded a pic and Simpsonized myself.




You can do your own here.

Wanna pop some bubble wrap?

Found it at Spiralpocus:


Of course you do, don't be ridiculous. Click here - and be sure to try 'er in manic mode -- and click the "Fresh sheet" button at least once.

Acts of Gord

From Acts of Gord:

Wherein The Gord spites a pirate who claims the law supports him!

Customer walks in the door. Comes up to the counter, and places down court papers for pursuing a civil case on the counter.

"I told you I would!"

"Told me what?"

"That I would sue you for ripping me off on the mod chip!"

(this would be one of the many customers who Gord had sold and installed a mod-chip for, and the chip only allowed imports to be played, not copies. He was very angry that the chip did exactly what Gord said it would.)

"Oh! May I? I love legal paperwork. Gimme gimme gimme!"

Gord grabs paperwork and reads through it. Spelling mistakes, poor penmanship, etc. Customer claims Gord sold a product that did not work as advertised.

"Here, I'll fill in my response to your claim now."

Gord fills in the response window with "Your head resembles that of a chicken." Gord gives the court papers back.

"Hey! This is serious! I'm suing you!"

"Chicken, head resemble you."

"Shut up!"

"Ba-gooooock? Cluck?"

"What?!"

"Sorry, I was trying to speak to you in your language, the language of the chickens. Was I doing it wrong?"

"I'll settle out of court right now if you just give me my money back."

"Not seeing a positive angle for me here in your grandiose plan."

"You're going to look really dumb when you take that form down to the courthouse!"

"You're looking pretty retarded right now as you didn't bother to serve notice to the court of your plan to sue, or pay the filing fee. In fact, all you've done is pick up the information package and hope to bluff your way through this."

"Uhm...."

"Would you like to go get another information package and I'll fill your half in so that you don't look retarded, then you can file it, bring down my half, I can fill in why your only purpose in life is to steal games and you're suing me because I won't sell you something that will let you steal games, and I'll counter file for $100 an hour for wasting my time."

"Why are you such an ass!?" screams customer as he leaves.

"Because I hate you, and I'm smarter than you."

Customer left. Never did file his court papers like he promised.

Keeping it real



Python eats family dog - brutal


BRISBANE, Australia (AP) — A 16-foot python stalked a family dog for days before swallowing the pet whole in front of horrified children in the Australian tropics, animal experts said Wednesday.

The boy and girl, ages 5 and 7, watched as the scrub python devoured their silky terrier-Chihuahua crossbreed Monday at their home near Kuranda in Queensland state.

Stuart Douglas, owner of the Australian Venom Zoo in Kuranda, said scrub pythons typically eat wild animals such as wallabies, a smaller relative of the kangaroo, but sometimes turn to pets in urban areas.

"It actively stalked the dog for a number of days," Douglas said.

"The family that owned the dog had actually seen it in the dog's bed, which was a sign it was out to get it," he added.

"They should have called me then, but (the snake) got away and three or four days later, I was called and went around and removed it" after the dog had been killed, Douglas said.

By the time Douglas arrived, all that could be seen of the dog was its hind legs and tail.

The zoo manager, Todd Rose, said pythons squeeze their prey to death before swallowing it whole. The 5-year-old dog would have been suffocated within minutes.

"The lady who was there threw some plastic chairs at the snake, but you've got to remember that this is about 50 kilograms (110 pounds) of aggressive muscle," Rose said.

Removing the half-swallowed dog could have harmed or even killed the python, Rose said, because dogs have sharp teeth and claws that could do the snake internal damage if it were wrenched out.

The snake was still digesting the dog at the zoo Wednesday. It will soon be relocated to the bush, Douglas said.

So -- Birkies -- if you see a python in your bed, it means he wants to commune with you -- so be friendly.

SNL makes fun of objective jourrrrnalists

Found it at Small Bits and Pieces:
This is hysterical.

I'm communing with sharks - ow Ow OWW

Vienna lawyer dies from shark bite off Florida coast
by David Rogers
Bull Shark

A 50-year-old Vienna lawyer has died from a shark bite while diving in waters close to the Bahamas. Markus Groh, a Vienna lawyer and diving enthusiast, was a member of a party of seven divers from Vienna who went to see a "shark baiting" in the Ocean on Saturday.

He was attacked and bitten in the leg by a bull shark while in the water on Sunday. Groh was not in a cage and did not have any other protection. He reportedly panicked from what may not have been a life-threatening injury and surfaced too quickly. Reposts have suggested that his quick ascent to the surface caused a fatal embolism (blockage) to form in his lung.

The crew aboard the commercial boat called the U.S coast Guard immediately. A helicopter was called and took Groh to the hospital, were he later died of his injuries.

The circumstances of the attack remain murky. One possibility is that the man came into contact with the shark bait and was mistaken for bait by a shark. Bull sharks are said to be one of the three most-aggressive species of sharks.

Scuba Adventures, the company running the shark trip, has so far declined to comment. Its website explains that the excursions give people the chance to get "face to face" with some of the world's most dangerous sharks.

It states that the best dives result from "chumming' the water with dead fish. It warns that "there will be food in the water at the same time as the divers. Please be aware that these are not 'cage' dives, they are open water experiences". More here:

Yes -- see -- what we do is -- we throw a bunch of bloody fish in the water, and then YOU get to swim with the sharks -- and commune with them -- whilst they are in a feeding frenzy -- it's great.

Oh, hell yeah -- sign me up.

15 seconds video

Found it at Small Bits and Pieces:

Okie dokie

From Futility Closet: UPDATE - Wombat found the actual banned cartoon.
WARNER BROTHERS

LMAO - 7 mins - I watched the whole thing.

The proper way to deal with protesters

This guy had the right idea, but he waited too long, didn't hit enough of them and then made the mistake of trying to reason with crazy people. If I were in his shoes, all you'd hear from me would be, "I didn't know what they were doing in the road despite my repeated warnings to move. I feared for my life."

I'm convinced you can get away with anything- ANYTHING as long as you get it on record that you feared for your life. With all the libs out there claiming we're all victims of something, I'd love to see them try to backpeddle on this one. There'd be witness after witness, under oath, having to say, "I heard him say he feared for his life so I can't fault him for running over those people... or backing up and doing it again... and again... he feared for his life... what would you expect him to do?"

Click Here for video

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Different problem - same solution

Temperature Monitors Report
Widescale Global Cooling

Twelve-month long drop in world temperatures wipes out a century of warming

Over the past year, anecdotal evidence for a cooling planet has exploded. China has its coldest winter in 100 years. Baghdad sees its first snow in all recorded history. North America has the most snowcover in 50 years, with places like Wisconsin the highest since record-keeping began. Record levels of Antarctic sea ice, record cold in Minnesota, Texas, Florida, Mexico, Australia, Iran, Greece, South Africa, Greenland, Argentina, Chile -- the list goes on and on.

No more than anecdotal evidence, to be sure. But now, that evidence has been supplanted by hard scientific fact. All four major global temperature tracking outlets (Hadley, NASA's GISS, UAH, RSS) have released updated data. All show that over the past year, global temperatures have dropped precipitously. More here:

Well -- it's not like a braying jackass ever took facts into consideration so they won't be piping down anytime soon. Facts are unimportant when addressing the masses. It seems like I heard, somewhere, that the more outrageous the lie, the more likely idiots will believe it.

"So the whole story that Hitler was a vegetarian is simply a myth, invented by the infamous Joseph Goebbels. This man, as you no doubt know, was not particularly loyal to the truth. In fact, one of his more famous sayings is that if you tell a lie often enough, and loud enough, people will believe it. Another was the bigger the lie, the easier it is to get people to believe it. "

Hey -- whadda you wanna bet that, in 2 years, they'll come back saying that global warming was global cooling all along -- but they missed a small bit of data to clue them in -- but now -- NOW, THEY'RE SURE. HAHAHAHAHAHA. HEE-HAW.

Now for the "Extra-hysterical" part -- the solution to global cooling is the same as the solution to global warming -- HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA - HEE-HAW. Slow it up here folks.


New meaning for "Knucklehead"

Found it at J-Walk:


He's looking good: Patrick from Denmark.
One of my perennial favorite modified people is Patrick from Denmark , and I've greatly enjoyed watching his visage evolve as it improves and becomes more distinguished and defined with every iteration. Most recently he's had a gorgeous set of biomechanical sideburns added (his body already has a large number of tattoos in this theme) and cheek cuttings


BEFORE
Compare this with a photo taken a year ago, and you'll see some amazing progress. Adding the biomechanical sideburns was a stroke of genius.

AFTER

Yes -- it was a stroke alright.

Objective and Accurate Jourrrrrrnalists

In August of 1960, a year and a half after Che Guevara entered Havana ahead of his "column" of "guerrillas," Time magazine featured the revolutionary comandante on its cover and crowned him the "Brains of the Cuban Revolution." (Fidel Castro was "the heart" and Raul Castro "the fist.")

"Wearing a smile of melancholy sweetness that many women find devastating," read the Time article, "Che guides Cuba with icy calculation, vast competence, high intelligence and a perceptive sense of humor."

"This is not a Communist Revolution in any sense of the term," The New York Times had declared a year earlier. "Fidel Castro is not only not a Communist, he is decidedly anti-Communist."

"It would be a great mistake," Walter Lippmann wrote in the Washington Post that same month, "even to intimate that Castro's Cuba has any real prospect of becoming a Soviet satellite."

A few months earlier the London Observer had observed: "Mr. Castro's bearded youthful figure has become a symbol of Latin America's rejection of brutality and lying. Every sign is that he will reject personal rule and violence."

Yeah -- here's what I think about these jourrrrrrnalists.


Under Che, Havana's La Cabana fortress was converted into Cuba's Lubianka. He was a true Chekist: "Always interrogate your prisoners at night," Che commanded his prosecutorial goons, "a man is easier to cow at night, his mental resistance is always lower." [1]

A Cuban prosecutor of the time who quickly defected in horror and disgust named Jose Vilasuso estimates that Che signed 400 death warrants the first few months of his command in La Cabana. A Basque priest named Iaki de Aspiazu, who was often on hand to perform confessions and last rites, says Che personally ordered 700 executions by firing squad during the period.

Cuban journalist Luis Ortega, who knew Che as early as 1954, writes in his book Yo Soy El Che! that Guevara sent 1,897 men to the firing squad. In his book Che Guevara: A Biography, Daniel James writes that Che himself admitted to ordering "several thousand" executions during the first year of the Castro regime. Felix Rodriguez, the Cuban-American CIA operative who helped track him down in Bolivia and was the last person to question him, says that Che during his final talk, admitted to "a couple thousand" executions. But he shrugged them off as all being of "imperialist spies and CIA agents." More here:

Yes -- well -- we had already killed all the resistors and protesters -- we looked for some more but all that were left were spies -- capisce?

Hey -- I wonder how many of the dead peeps wish they had been "TORTURED" with waterboarding instead of executed at the firing squad ... after the obligatory REAL torture, of course.

The cat is out of the bag

Hey -- what's this?
Campaign headquarters for the communist party?


D'OH


Did you hear about this on the mainstream media? Didn't think so. Maybe it slipped by them.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Comrade Curry

From Newsbusters:


NBC: Raul 'Officially Chosen'

By Mark Finkelstein February 25, 2008 - 09:02 ET

Here in Ithaca and no doubt in other liberal bastions across the land, you can still see cars festooned with those bitter bumper stickers: "Re-Defeat Bush!" and "Bush: Selected, Not Elected!" Those sentiments remain reflected in an MSM still smarting from Florida 2000. All of which made Ann Curry's words on this morning's Today, announcing the ascendancy of Raul Castro in Cuba, so ironic.

ANN CURRY: In the news this morning, we begin with Cuba and its [first] new president in nearly half a century. Raul Castro was officially chosen on Sunday to take over from his brother Fidel who announced his retirement last week.

Just what does it mean to be "officially chosen" in a totalitarian police state? Would it have been too indelicate for Curry to have pointed out that there are no free elections in Cuba and that the officially prescribed method for expressing dissent is to raise your hand and say "throw me in prison, por favor"? More here:

LMAO -- Hey -- Curry -- don't you EVER get tired of making excuses for commies? "Officially chosen" huh? LMAO. You've got to be one of the dumbest ******** on TV. I promised myself I'd stop over-using profanity on this blog.

Hey Ann --- is that a Che Guevara bag over your shoulder?

Idiots elect commie

NICOSIA, Cyprus, Feb. 24 -- Communist leader Demetris Christofias won a crucial presidential runoff in Cyprus on Sunday. He pledged to restart moribund talks to reunify the island and immediately agreed to meet the leader of the breakaway Turkish Cypriots. Moribund talks? Huh?

Cyprus has been divided since 1974 when Turkey sent troops into the north after a coup by Greek Cypriots designed to produce union with Greece.

Jubilant supporters flooded the streets of Nicosia, Europe's last divided capital, waving Cypriot and Che Guevara flags, honking car horns and lighting flares.

Hey -- WAIT A MINUTE -- do you mean to tell me that Che Guevara, the hero of the leftists and Hollywood elite, is associated with communism? Say it ain't so, man -- say it ain't so.

Congratulations, Cypriots -- teach those evil rich peeps who's boss.


Well -- at least I learned what "moribund" meant.

stagnant: not growing or changing; without force or vitality
being on the point of death; breathing your last; "a moribund patient"

Hey -- I can't wait to use this on a lib.

LIB: "Blah blah, Bush is bad, Blah blah, Haliburton, Blah blah, global warming."

KLOWN: "You're soooo right -- My, you've got quite the moribund mind."

LIB: "Oh, thanks"

Climate change thwarted

LONDON, England (CNN) -- Four Greenpeace activists climbed on top of a British Airways plane at London's Heathrow Airport on Monday to protest plans to build a third runway, the environmental group said. I love how they call all these kinds of peeps "activists" or "militants" -- instead of "terrorists" or "jackasses."

The protesters unveiled a banner atop the plane which reads, "Climate emergency -- no third runway."

"I'm standing on this plane because our planet and the people who live on it are in danger," said Anna Jones, 27, one of the Greenpeace protesters. "Climate change can be beaten, but not by almost doubling the size of the world's biggest airport."

Greenpeace said the activists -- two men and two women -- waited for all the passengers on the Manchester, England to London flight to disembark before they walked through the terminal, crossed the Tarmac, and climbed stairs onto the plane's fuselage.

"We may have exposed a hole in security at Heathrow, but it's not as big as the hole in (Prime Minister) Gordon Brown's climate change policy," said Sarah Shoraka, 30, another of the protesters.

Shoraka said airport security was using a cherry-picker crane to remove the protesters from the plane. Cherry picker? How boring. You're never going to teach them a lesson that way. What about a firehose? What about covering them with sticky flowers and releasing wasps?

"We will get arrested but obviously we've thought about this very carefully," Shoraka said. "We're really, really serious about what we're doing. We really care, and we don't want dangerous climate change to happen." More here:

Whew -- thank God for Greenpeace. The climate change emergency is over.

Couldn't resist this one

AP - Calif. McDonald's Tries Feng Shui Theme
Sunday February 24, 2:16 pm ET By Daisy Nguyen,Associated Press Writer

Do You Want Fries With That Zen? California McDonald's Aims to Boost Sales With Feng Shui

HACIENDA HEIGHTS, Calif. (AP) -- The only familiar signs at the McDonald's in this large Asian community are the golden arches, the drive-through and the menu. Gone are the plastic furniture, Ronald McDonald and the red and yellow palette that has defined the world's largest hamburger chain. Leather seats, earth tones, bamboo plants and water trickling down glass panels have taken their place.

The makeover elements are meant to help diners achieve happiness and fortune -- whether they realize it or not. That's because the restaurant was redesigned using the principles of feng shui, the ancient Chinese practice of arranging objects and numbers to promote health, harmony and prosperity. Yes -- ancient Chinese practices are always awesome -- like foot-binding for example -- that was a good one. I wonder if there are any ancient Chinese practices which ward off smarmy liberal asshats.

The concept is an unlikely fit with fast food. But the restaurant's owners say the designs are aimed at creating a soothing setting that will encourage diners to linger over their burgers and fries, and come back again. Linger over McDonalds burgers? Don't people go to McDonalds to get FAST FOOD?

The makeover is part of the attempt by McDonald's Corp. in recent years to remodel hundreds of its restaurants to attract more patrons with unique decor and amenities that might entice them stay awhile. Stay awhile? Why?

It also fits into McDonald's larger corporate practice of catering to local tastes, such as a fondue-style burger in France or a pita-wrapped "McArabia" sandwich in the Middle East.

"We can't look too cookie cutter," Mark Brownstein, one of three owners of the restaurant, said about the new decor. Noooo -- "cookie cutter" is bad you know. Hey -- Brownstein -- how about a mint -- a money mint -- too "cookie cutter" for you, jackass? LMAO - buys a GD McDonalds and then says "we don't want to be too cookie cutter." Someone should smack him in the chops with the "crowbar of irony."

The basic principles of feng shui include placing strategic representations of five natural elements -- earth, water, fire, metal and wood -- around the room to increase the flow of chi, or energy. Uh -- and what can you put around the room to increase the flow of the ancient American idea of comfort , also known as "cash."

Feng shui (pronounced fung shway) has been employed in the designs of high-rises, banks, even zoo exhibits, and has been popularized by countless coffee table books and TV shows such as HGTV's "Fun Shui." It's also used in the designs of the Panda Express Chinese food chain.

The McDonald's in this Los Angeles suburb boasts wood ceiling, silver-coated chairs, plus red accents throughout the dining area to symbolize fire and "good luck, laughter and prosperity," said Brenda Clifford, who designed the dining area. The textured walls patterned after ocean waves symbolize "life and relaxation -- the balanced things that you want in your life," she said. Yes -- I'd put up wall posters of a guy with a full tray giving someone seated a boot in the ass -- this would "symbolize" you have stayed at your table too long.

Customers are responding positively, whether or not they recognize the feng shui elements.

"When we first walked in we were amazed, we were happy we skipped the drive-through and went inside," Andrew Chen said while lounging in a white leather booth with a friend. White leather booth -- oh yeah -- McDonalds customers are EXACTLY who you want in your white leather booth -- rofl.

Chen, 20, said he didn't notice the feng shui elements. He just thought it was a modern interior.

Two workers at the nearby post office said they've been taking more lunch breaks at the remodeled McDonald's, which opened in late December.

"We're here two, three times a week," Waldo Alfaro said as he munched on a Filet-O-Fish and a salad. "It's relaxing, you don't feel any pressure here." Yes -- at the regular McDonalds, it's just pressure, pressure, pressure.

Nevermind that this is the same McDonald's that's been vilified by critics over its artery-clogging Big Macs and fries. Whew -- I thought the lib reporter was never going to mention the "evil McDonalds" refrain.

The buzz about the feng shui McDonald's is starting to attract curious onlookers.

"It's successful as a design. It's got a very clean, open, airy appearance," said Elaine Bjorklund, a professor emerita of cultural geography at the University of Western Ontario in Canada, who was in town visiting a friend. "I'm not a McDonald's habituee," she added as she snapped pictures of the dining area. "It would be interesting to see if this trend will spread." Oh God -- As if I give a crap what some egghead "professor emerita" of cultural ANYTHING says. I sure am glad she quickly pointed out that she hardly EVER goes to a McDonalds -- you know -- with the dregs and so forth.

Brownstein said he and his partners chose the feng shui makeover because the restaurant is located near a renowned Buddhist temple, which is considered good luck. The designs were meant to appeal to the area's growing Asian population, but were also done in a way that would help all customers tap their inner Zen. Sure -- everyone knows that Asians aren't in a hurry -- you know -- unless there is a camera sale somewhere nearby -- Inner Zen -- *puking*

With the help of a feng shui master, the designers added details that only feng shui practitioners could appreciate. They include positioning the doors in a way that would block out bad spirits while keeping good ones inside, Clifford said. Gaaaa, bad spirits are afoot -- but they've been thwarted by lib geniuses and door placement - DRAT. Personally, I think a security guard would work better.

The eight rows of red tiles near the food counter are another symbol of fortune, because the number eight is considered auspicious, she said. Meanwhile, the metal sculptures of a crane and Koi fish adorning one wall represent fertility and prosperity, she said. I'd rather you put up a pic of an employee getting fired for being slow -- that would "represent" a sense of urgency and getting my food quickly so I could get back to work.

Clifford said she made the nearly fatal mistake of putting 44 seats in the dining area, until she learned that feng shui followers consider the number four a symbol of bad luck. So she added an extra seat to make it 45.

"Few people would notice it, but if you're in the know, you'll say 'Oh my God, that's terrible,'" she said. Whew -- now if the feng-shui cognoscenti come in, there will be no embarrassment. Idiots.

Boo Hoo - the media has turned on us

CLINTON STAFFERS CIRCULATE 'DRESSED' OBAMA
Mon Feb 25 2007 06:51:00 ET

With a week to go until the Texas and Ohio primaries, stressed Clinton staffers circulated a photo over the weekend of a "dressed" Barack Obama.

The photo, taken in 2006, shows the Democrat frontrunner dressed as a Somali Elder, during his five-country tour of Africa.

"Wouldn't we be seeing this on the cover of every magazine if it were HRC?" questioned one campaign staffer, in an email obtained by the DRUDGE REPORT.

Uh -- first of all, the answer used to be "No." But now you're running against their preferred candidate -- so you can forget about the media protection of the past, Hillary, you're doomed.

You can be thankful you're a Democrap. Were you a Republican, the media would have already torn you a new asshole -- big enough for peeps to ride whitewater rapids through - capisky?

You know -- the media hammers the dogshit out of conservatives every day -- and they don't whine or snivel -- but the Democraps -- they are astonished when the media "isn't fair." I think that tells its own story.

Why Women Like Mondays Better

Ladies, can we get an AMEN on this?

The Klown loves the French Presidink

PARIS (Reuters) - A video of French President Nicolas Sarkozy telling a bystander to "get lost" has become a hit on the Internet.

Sarkozy was filmed by a journalist from the daily Le Parisien on a walkabout at the annual farm fair in Paris on Saturday. More here:

Sarkozy offered his hand to a man who said: "Don't touch me, you are soiling me." In reply, Sarkozy said, without dropping his smile: "Get lost, dumb ass."

McCain -- take a lesson from Nicolas. Let your poll ratings fall. If you care about the polls, I don't want you representing me in politics. The media controls the polls -- disregard them -- speak out against the media at EVERY opportunity.


Here's the video if you care.


Gotta love the Democraps

Like the pic? Found it here:


The Democratic National Committee (DNC) will file a complaint against Sen. John McCain (Ariz.) with the Federal Election Commission (FEC) Monday, charging that the presumptive Republican presidential nominee is breaking the law by trying to get out of a public financing agreement. (I love how the media uses them term "Democratic" instead of "Democrat" whenever possible.)

On the call, Dean repeatedly criticized McCain for allegedly violating a law he helped reform with the Bipartisan Campaign Finance Reform Act of 2002 -- generally referred to as McCain-Feingold.

"They might as well just call it the Feingold law," Dean said.

The DNC has made clear in recent days it plans to paint the prohibitive Republican nominee as a hypocrite, someone who decries Washington politics while enjoying the support and aid of lobbyists.

McCain spokesman Brian Rogers responded that “Howard Dean’s hypocrisy is breathtaking given that in 2003 he withdrew from the matching funds system in exactly the same way that John McCain is doing today.”

"Hey -- You're a hypocrite"

"No No -- YOU ARE"

"No - YOU"

Jeez -- stop acknowledging idiots and just sneer at them. Take a lesson from Dick Cheney. Really -- nobody cares if you sneer at idiots. The only ones that care are libs and they aren't going to vote for you anyway.

I love the Democraps though -- they will do anything -- and I mean ANYTHING -- to get elected. There is NO gutter too filthy for them to reject if it means their election. They'll even send in suicide bombers like Howard (the pinhead) Dean.

Seriously -- you'd think they would stop their accusations if they could be proven to be hypocrites -- but you'd be wrong. They're safe though -- the mainstream media won't cover the part about Dean -- they'll only cover the accusations against the evil "conservative."

ONE -- MORE -- TIME !!!


Coon! Coon! Coon!
I wish my color would fade.

Coon! Coon! Coon!
I'd like a different shade.

Coon! Coon! Coon!
Morning, night and noon.

I wish I was a white man
'Stead of a Coon! Coon! Coon!

What's in a name?

Lefty Jon Stewart makes some good fun here.

It's a clip from the Oscars so, if you watched the Oscars(Ha Ha, as IF), then you've seen this.

Video about 1 minute.

Sunday, February 24, 2008

Metric system update

Only three nations have not switched officially to the metric system: Liberia, Myanmar, and the United States.

Ha Ha - gotcha


On the 20th of May, 1736, the body of Samuel Baldwin, Esq., was, in compliance with a request in his will, buried, sans ceremonie, in the sea at Lymington, Hants. His motive for this extraordinary mode and place of interment was to prevent his wife from 'dancing on his grave,' which she had frequently threatened to do in case she survived him.

– Frank H. Stauffer, The Queer, the Quaint and the Quizzical, 1882

Libs = Bunch of sock cookers

Found it at Bits and Pieces:





About the video below:

The lady (witch) says "It's a fair cop" after the scales balance.

Before the witch trial, you can see Sir Bedevere tying coconuts to a swallow, no doubt to test the theory people argue about elsewhere in the film. Submitted by Piemanmoo

Brave Sir Robin's royal minstrels are the British folk band Saltwater Sealion - Steeleye Span were originally asked to play the roles, but they declined.

The idea for the killer rabbit came from the facade of the Cathedral of Notre Dame. Near the entrance, in panels depicting various scenes of man's infirmaties, one panel illustrates cowardice by showing a knight fleeing from a rabbit.

In the scene where the chanting monks are parading through the city streets, watch the overhead view closely and you'll see that one monk staggers and nearly collapses after hitting himself in the head.

Originally, the cast were going to ride horses, but then they realised they didn't have the capital to do so. They therefore came up with the idea of artificially creating the sound effect using empty coconut halves. They then decided that it would be a good idea to actually include the coconuts in the film, hence the film's long-running joke - it was never meant to be included.

In the scene where the mob is weighing the 'witch' there are two quick shots of the crowd just as she is being put on the scales. In the second shot, one of the men is ex-Beatle and co-producer George Harrison.

After they come to the conclusion about weighing the witch to see if she weighs the same as a duck, and then the scales balance, watch the scales after they drag her off to be burnt. The side which contained the duck is obviously loaded to start with, as it sinks lower than the other pan when there is supposed to be nothing on the scales. Hence the witch weighing 'the same' as the duck, and seemingly proving the villagers rigged the whole thing.

Almost all, if not all, the chain mail armour in this film is actually thick wool, which was very uncomfortable for the actors because it was often raining where they were filming, and the wool would become very damp and very heavy.

Also, there is this:

SAUDI Arabia's religious police plan to behead a woman accused of being a witch, a human rights group says.

Human Rights Watch has asked the country's king to intervene over "absurd charges that have no basis in law".

Fawza Falih was arrested and interrogated in the northern town of Quraiyat two years ago and sentenced to death.

The judges who convicted her relied on her forced confession and the statements of witnesses who said she had "bewitched" them.

One man claimed he became impotent after Ms Falih cast a spell on him.

Witchcraft is considered an offence against Islam in Saudi Arabia.

HA HA HA HA -- Holy dipsticks, Batman.

A WITCH -- A WITCH !!!



What does the lady say when the scale balances? I couldna make it out.

Can't sleep now

Found it at Cynical-C:


Test -- Are YOU a moron?

The recent earthquake that was felt across Israel was the result of the “homosexual activity practiced in the country”, Knesset Member Shlomo Benizri said Wednesday.

During a special Knesset session on Israel’s preparedness for the possibility of another earthquake hitting the region, the Shas member said “the Gemara refers to earthquakes as disasters, but you are searching only for the practical solutions how to prevent and repair.

“But I no of another way to prevent earthquakes; the Gemara mentions a number of causes of earthquakes, one of which is homosexuality, which the Knesset legitimizes,” Benizri said.

An earthquake registering 5.3 on the Richter Scale was felt by residents across Israel at 12:36 pm Friday. The trembling lasted for 19 seconds and shook structures in many major towns and cities.

Well -- ladies and gentlemen -- there is your proof. Doesn't matter which government, morons are in them all.

Klown -- how did morons end up in the government How did they get there?

Easy -- either morons voted them in or, in the case of dictatorships, morons won't fight for freedom. Either way though, morons are responsible. Much of this could be solved by not allowing morons to vote.

Seriously -- if this does not prove to you -- beyond a shadow of a doubt -- that complete morons are in positions of extreme power -- then, you too, are a moron.

And -- one last thing -- is his name really Shlomo? Quite the coinkydink.

Scotland - Sheesh

Scotland's justice secretary is seeking assurances from the UK government that American rendition flights have not landed on Scottish soil.

"This week's revelations do nothing but undermine public confidence in the assurances given so far - both in London and Washington.

"The people of Scotland are entitled to know if a Scottish airport has been used for these activities, and if it has for there to be an assurance that it will never happen again." More here:

So -- you want to huff and puff about us returning these terrorists to their home countries for interrogation. In some cases these terrorists are wanted in the other countries for crimes they commited. Meanwhile you want to share the intelligence, right?

Pipe down, Paddy McDumbass -- go shave your legs.

Is Huckabee a good sport?

Is Huckabee overstaying his welcome?

YOU be the judge in this SNL video.

Later, Comrade

HAVANA (AP) - Fidel Castro on Saturday rejected the idea of major political change after Cuba's parliament chooses a new president—his final published comments as the nation's longtime leader.

The article on the front page of the Communist Party newspaper Granma was one of a flurry of recent columns and announcements from Castro, who is retiring after 49 years as head of Cuba.

Writing under his new title, "Comrade Fidel," the 81-year-old Castro scoffed at suggestions in news reports that his retirement, announced Tuesday, would lead to political changes aided by Cuban exiles in the United States.

"The reality is otherwise," Castro wrote. He quoted approvingly from other articles that said his retirement showed the failure of U.S. officials to affect Cuba's political transition.

Castro said he would now lay his pen aside until lawmakers decide Sunday on his replacement as president of the island's supreme governing authority, the Council of State. Castro's 76-year-old brother Raul, the defense minister, is his constitutionally designated successor as first vice president, and is widely expected to be named president.

Yeah -- great job, Castro. Last time my friend was in Cuba, he picked up a doctor hitch-hiking to work.

Riddle

From Futility Closet:

The maker doesn't need it.

The buyer doesn't use it.

The user doesn't know he's using it.


What is it?

Jonco was the first to post the correct answer. "Casket"



Saturday, February 23, 2008

Perfect hubby

Quote: Agatha Christie on the Perfect Husband
"An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her."

- Agatha Christie, author (1890 - 1976)

Sword Swallower = Genius

Found it at Neatorama:


What would you do for love?

In her time, Jean Carroll was a popular bearded lady. More importantly, Carroll was the real deal. Born in 1910 in Schenectady, New York Jean Carroll possessed the genuine foundation of a fine silken beard at the age of ten, when she joined the Hagenbeck-Wallace Circus. As she aged, that foundation of follicles flourished and soon provided Carroll with a stable career in carnival exhibition.

As a young lady Carroll met a charming young Ohio man and quickly fell in love. The object of her affection was John Carson. Carson was a charming and handsome man. He was a contortionist and sideshow talker and he was actually quite taken by the sweet-hearted bearded girl. He was certainly attracted to Carroll but the beard was simply too much for him to overcome. While he continued to be friendly with Carroll, he pushed aside any romantic aspirations and focused on friendship.

For fifteen years the two saw each other almost daily. As Carson got to know Carroll for the woman she was, behind the whiskers, he fell deeply in love with her. Carroll saw that love in him and it pained her. She knew he would never be able to accept the beard and she, in turn, could not give up her source of livelihood and her home in the carnival. As she cried one night, sword swallower Alec Linton suggested a painful solution.

“Shave the beard and become a tattooed woman.”

Soon, the beard was gone and in its place were over 700 intricate designs by famed tattooist Charlie Wagner. The pain involved in the process was likely excruciating but the investment was wise. John Carson was completely smitten, apparently having no problems with illustration over facial hair, and the two wed almost immediately following the ‘close shave’.

Ahhh -- it's all so romantic.

Too bad

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Having long played down the idea that she might someday run for president, U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice on Friday said she had no plans to serve as a vice president either.

There has been speculation that Republican presidential front-runner Sen. John McCain of Arizona might tap Rice as his running mate.

"I have always said that the one thing that I have not seen myself doing is running for elected office," Rice said at a news conference. "I didn't even run for high school president. It's sort of not in my genes."

I'd feel a lot better about voting for John McCain if he'd pick someone like Rice for VP. We need someone who ignores the media. Maybe Dick Cheney could teach her to sneer at them.

Ha Ha Ha

DETROIT (Reuters) - General Motors Corp Vice Chairman Bob Lutz has defended remarks he made dismissing global warming as a "total crock of s---," saying his views had no bearing on GM's commitment to build environmentally friendly vehicles.

Lutz, GM's outspoken product development chief, has been under fire from Internet bloggers since last month when he was quoted as making the remark to reporters in Texas. More here:

I love it -- Just for that, I might consider making my next car a GM car.

LMAO - Before political correctness

From Futility Closet:


Lyrics to "Coon! Coon! Coon!",
billed as "The Most Successful Song Hit of 1901″:

Although it's not my color,
I'm feeling mighty blue;
I've got a lot of trouble,
I'll tell it all to you:

I'm cert'nly clean disgusted
With life, and that's a fact
Because my hair is wooly
And because my color's black.

My gal, she took a notion
Against the colored race.
She said if I would win her
I'd have to change my face;

She said if she should wed me,
That she'd regret it soon,
And now I'm shook, yes, good and hard,
Because I am a coon.

CHORUS:
Coon! Coon! Coon!
I wish my color would fade.
Coon! Coon! Coon!
I'd like a different shade.
Coon! Coon! Coon!
Morning, night and noon.
I wish I was a white man
'Stead of a Coon! Coon! Coon!

I had my face enameled,
I had my hair made straight.
I dressed up like a white man,
And cert'nly did look great.

Then started out to see her,
Just shortly after dark,
But on the way to meet my babe
I had to cross a park;

Just as I was a-thinking
I had things fixed up right,
I passed a tree where two doves sat
making love at night;

They stopped and looked me over,
I saw my finish soon.
When both those birds said good and loud,
"Coo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oon."

I found a short mp3 here:
You can use it as a ringtone -- lmao.

Close, but no saguaro

"Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
— Popular Mechanics, 1949

Metric system & John Quincy Adams

From Futility Closet:

"Decimal arithmetic is a contrivance of man for computing numbers, and not a property of time, space, or matter. It belongs essentially to the keeping of accounts, but is merely an incident to the transactions of trade. Nature has no partiality for the number 10; and the attempt to shackle her freedom with them [decimal gradations], will for ever prove abortive."

– John Quincy Adams, recommending against the metric system in 1821, as reported in Chambers' Edinburgh Journal, May 15, 1852

So the Klown started thinking -- Jeesh -- how did that great thinker become presidink? So I started with the googling -- trying to show he was a lib. The closest I came was this:

"Adams served in Congress for the next 17 years, earning a reputation as the most passionate and respected liberal voice in Washington. Defying the many ironies of his life, Adams fulfilled his pledge to die in the line of duty when he suffered a fatal stroke on the floor of the House in 1848. " From here:

And then I found this interesting stuff.

You think the picture this year looks confusing?

In 1824, four candidates received Electoral Votes. Andrew Jackson received 41% of the popular vote and about 38% of the Electoral Votes, but that was not enough. So pursuant to the Twelfth Amendment, the election was thrown into the House of Representatives. There were 24 states, and each delegation had to cast one vote. 13 of the 24 voted for John Quincy Adams, who had received about 30% of both the popular vote and the Electoral Votes. Adams therefore was named President on February 9, 1825.

The previous few years, when James Monroe was President, had seen a one-party government in the United States, as the Federalist Party had dissolved, leaving only the Democratic-Republican Party. This was a time known as the "Era of Good Feeling." But in the 1824 election, the Democratic-Republican Party splintered. Four candidates sought the presidency -- Andrew Jackson, John Quincy Adams, William Crawford and Henry Clay. The faction led by Andrew Jackson would evolve into the Democratic Party, while the factions led by John Quincy Adams and Henry Clay would become the National Republican Party and later the Whig Party.

This election is the only time since the passage of the Twelfth Amendment in which the presidential election was thrown into the House of Representatives, as no candidate received a majority of the electoral vote. This presidential election was also the only one in which the candidate receiving the most electoral votes did not become president (because a majority, not just a plurality, is required to win). It is also often said to be the first election in which the president did not win the popular vote, although the popular vote was not measured nationwide. At that time, several states did not conduct a popular vote, allowing their state legislature to choose their electors. More here:

Anyway -- Boy was he wrong about the metric system. The reason the US doesn't convert to the metric system? We have to wait until the average intelligence of the population exceeds that of a grape.

Actually, some of the "coversion" is being made without the "consent" of anyone -- it just makes so much more sense. They need to start making speed-limit signs with both numbers on them for a few years -- then they can drop the MPH later by saying it's not necessary.

If I owned a gas station, I'd start selling it by the liter -- sounds so much cheaper -- and if you sold it just a little cheaper, people would say to their friends "I don't care if he's selling liters, it's cheaper."