Friday, August 31, 2007
Chemicals Known To The State of California To Cause Cancer. Or Birth Defects Or Other Reproductive Harm May Be Present In Foods Or Beverages Sold Or Served Here.
Foods such as french fries and potato chips cooked in oil at high temperatures can produce Propsition-65 listed chemicals such as acrylamide, which is known to the State to cause cancer.
Broiling, grilling, and barbecuing fish and meats can produce Proposition-65 listed chemicals such as benzo-a-pyrene, which is known to the State to cause cancer.
Nearly all fish and seafood contain some amount of mercury and related compounds, chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer and birth defects or reproductive harm. Certain fish contain higher level than others.
Pregnant and nursing women, women who may become pregnant and young children should not eat swordfish, shark, king mackerel, or tilefish. They should also limit their consumption of other fish, including tuna.
Sheesh -- way to go California. Too bad you don't have the following written on your election ballots:
CAUTION: PEOPLE KNOWN TO BE JACKASSES, BY THE STATE OF EVILKLOWN, ARE PROBABLY ON THIS BALLOT.
Here ya go -- take a poll.
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Former state Sen. John Ford, once among Tennessee's most powerful lawmakers, was sentenced to 5 1/2 years in prison for bribery. Ford, 65, was one of five former lawmakers convicted of bribery or extortion in a statewide corruption investigation. He was convicted in April of taking $55,000 in bribes from FBI agents posing as dishonest businessmen. In addition to the prison term, Ford was sentenced to two years of supervised probation. Ford's attorney said he planned to appeal both the conviction and sentence.
Wait -- Klown to the rescue -- Took 1.7 seconds on Google - DEMOCRAT.
Glad I could help the OBJECTIVE Atlanta Journal and Constipation find his party affiliation. It's funny -- when it's a Republican, party affiliation is given in the first sentence --- When it's a Democrat, they forget to mention it. Seriously -- every time they leave it out, it's a Democrat - 100% of the time. Isn't that hysterically objective of them?
Less Than Half of all Published Scientists Endorse Global Warming Theory
Whaaaa? We're all shocked - do tell it all, brother -- tell it all.
But that doesn't stop the Atlanta Journal and Constipation from printing their verison:
Agency: Humans caused '06 warming
Warming caused by human activity was the biggest factor in the high temperatures recorded in 2006, according to a report by researchers at the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. The analysis will run in the September issue of Geophysical Research Letters, published by the American Geophysical Union. In January, NOAA's National Climatic Data Center reported that 2006 was the warmest year on record over the 48 contiguous states with an average temperature 2.1 degrees Fahrenheit warmer than normal and 0.07 degree warmer than 1998, the previous warmest year on record. In May, NOAA revised the 2006 ranking to the second warmest year after updated statistics showed the year was actually 0.08 degree cooler than 1998.
Thanks - jackasses.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Yes -- This piece of shit trial-lawyer sued doctors and hospitals (sarcasm/on ... and you know how conniving doctors and hospitals used to be -- you know -- pre-"malpractice suits"... /sarcasm off) and sent your medical costs skyrocketing -- he knows what's best for you -- stop driving your SUV.
LAKE BUENA VISTA, Fla. (AP) -- Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards told a labor group he would ask Americans to make a big sacrifice: their sport utility vehicles.The former North Carolina senator told a forum by the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers in Lake Buena Vista, Florida, yesterday he thinks Americans are willing to sacrifice.Edwards says Americans should be asked to drive more fuel efficient vehicles. He says he would ask them to give up SUVs.
What else should we give up, Edwards? Since you Democraps block drilling for new oil -- you block building new refineries -- you block putting up windmills -- you block nuclear power plants -- you jackasses will have us all back living in caves soon -- but then you'll prolly block our BBQ grills -- right?
The Klown shall buy this car. I can't wait to see the looks on the faces of all those stuck-up chicks who turned me down before. Suffer it out, baby.
Yesterday, the shoreline north of Sydney was transformed into what reporters are calling ‘The Cappuccino Coast’.
Foam swallowed an entire beach and half the nearby buildings, including the local lifeguards’ centre, in a freak display of nature at Yamba in New South Wales. One minute a group of teenage surfers were waiting to catch a wave, the next they were swallowed up in a giant bubble bath. The foam was so light that they could puff it out of their hands and watch it float away.
Scientists explain that the foam is created by impurities in the ocean, such as salts, chemicals, dead plants, decomposed fish and excretions from seaweed. These elements are churned together by powerful currents which cause the water to form bubbles. These bubbles stick to each other as they are carried below the surface by the current towards the shore and as a wave starts to form on the surface, the motion of the water causes the bubbles to swirl upwards, mass together and form foam.
The foam wall stretched for 30 miles out into the Pacific in a phenomenon not seen at the beach for more than three decades.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
A lady went into a bar in Afton, Wyoming and saw a cowboy with his feet propped up on a table. He had the biggest boots she'd ever seen. The woman asked the cowboy if it's true what they say about men with big feet are well endowed.
The cowboy grinned and said, "Shore is, little lady. Why don't you come on out to the bunkhouse and let me prove it to you?"
The woman wanted to find out for herself, so she spent the night with him. The next morning she handed him a $100 bill.
Blushing, he said, "Well, thankee, ma'am. Ah'm real flattered. Ain't nobody ever paid me fer mah services before."
"Don't be flattered. Take the money and buy yourself some boots that fit."
August 28, 2007 -- WASHINGTON - Hillary Clinton lavished praise on New York City's tough anti-smoking laws yesterday - and said she supports smoking bans in public places across the country.
Asked at an Iowa forum on cancer whether banning smoking in public places would be good for America, Clinton replied, "Well, personally, I think so. And that's what a lot of local communities and states are starting to do."
The Klown supports a fat-calf/thigh ban. I'll bet we'd get more business at the beach if those fat-calf cows were forced to stay home.
Screw freedom -- She prolly thinks the words are "Freedom's just another word for ... nothin' left to choose."
GD the Klown hates commies ... 'specially fat-calfed, non-smoking commies ... they're the WORST.
Assistant Principal Elvena Colbert sent out an e-mail stating that all black male students were to sit on the front row in classrooms.
Principal James Broussard later sent out an e-mail urging staff to disregard the one distributed by Colbert.
Broussard's e-mail explained that the intent was to identify students who received low Texas Assessment of Knowledge and Skills scores. (LOL -- he had a panic attack)
"People want to beat (students) down and talk down at them," he said. "We need to have the ones who are not successful and put them on the front row. Kids who are not excelling need special attention. ... Why are we letting kids sit on the back row and fall asleep or look out the window?" More here:
Yes -- they're right -- but being right was long ago abandoned in favor of being politically correct -- and DAMN their educations.
100-year-old celebrates her birthday by smoking 170,000th cigarette
Hey -- Libs -- Cram it!! -- I mean -- Happy Birthday to Me .. etc.
An iron-lunged pensioner has celebrated her 100th birthday by lighting up her 170,000th cigarette from a candle on her birthday cake.
More here if you want to read what she has to say:
Yep -- the media had no trouble at all finding out this guy is a Republican.
Idaho senator fined for lewd behavior at Minneapolis airport
Sen. Larry Craig, R-Idaho.
The Idaho Republican arrested June 11 in an MSP restroom entered a guilty plea Aug. 8.
U.S. Sen. Larry Craig, an Idaho Republican, pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct in Minnesota this month after being arrested by a plainclothes police officer investigating complaints of lewd conduct in a men's restroom at the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport.
Craig denied the police account of what occurred and said he erred in pleading guilty.
"At the time of this incident, I complained to the police that they were misconstruing my actions," he said in a statement Monday afternoon. "I was not involved in any inappropriate conduct. (Of course not, don't be ridiculous -- those rotten police)
"I should have had the advice of counsel in resolving this matter. In hindsight, I should not have pled guilty. I was trying to handle this matter myself quickly and expeditiously."
Craig was arrested at the airport on June 11, according to Roll Call, a Capitol Hill newspaper. According to police reports, Craig kept watching the undercover police officer through a crack in the bathroom stall, Roll Call reported. Craig then entered the next-door stall and placed his luggage against the opening under the stall door.
"My experience has shown that individuals engaging in lewd conduct use their bags to block the view from the front of their stall," said the officer, Sgt. Dave Karsnia.
The report continued: "At 1216 hours, Craig tapped his right foot. I recognized this as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct. (Take notes fellow public-restroom-stall users) Craig tapped his toes several times and moves his foot closer to my foot. ... The presence of others did not seem to deter Craig as he moved his right foot so that it touched the side of my left foot which was within my stall area." (This is probably just the Senator taking a wide stance -- which is understandable -- he's a Senator -- he's prolly got some serious CRAP coming out and CANNOT be impeded in any way.)
The report said that Craig swiped his hand beneath the stall divider several times and that Karsnia showed his police identification under the stall. (D'oh -- I'll bet seeing that police ID got rid of any straggler turds that may have been left.)
Roll Call reported that Craig was detained about 45 minutes and questioned by officers at the Airport Police Operations Center. At one point, police reports said, Craig handed the arresting officer a business card that identified him as a U.S. senator and said, "What do you think about that?"
Roll Call reported that a Craig spokesman said the incident is a "he said/he said misunderstanding." Craig denied any lewd intentions and told police he has a "wide stance" in the bathroom and reached down to pick up a piece of paper from the floor. (Wide stance -- toldja)
"It should be noted that there was not a piece of paper on the bathroom floor, nor did Craig pick up a piece of paper," Karsnia wrote in the police report.
According to the report, Minneapolis airport police have made "numerous arrests regarding sexual activity in the public restroom."
Craig's arrest was confirmed by Nancy Peters, a spokeswoman for the Hennepin County courts. Peters confirmed the Roll Call report that said Craig pleaded guilty Aug. 8 to a misdemeanor disorderly conduct charge. Craig was fined $1,000 and sentenced to 10 days in jail, Peters said. However, the 10-day sentence was stayed for a year, meaning that Craig avoids jail time unless he is rearrested on a similar charge within a year.
Idaho congressman going through Minneapolis -- hmmmm -- I wonder if an objective jourrrrrnalist is going to find out how many times he went through Minneapolis lately.
They gotta be twisting -- on the one hand, they get to bash Republicans -- on the other, they don't want to be seen as bashing gay peeps. Hahaha -- twist in the wind, dipsticks. Nobody cares but you.
And ... As if it isn't bad enough to play this ridiculous game in the bathroom stalls to get laid ... now the press is gonna kick your ass about it -- cuz -- you know -- WITCH!!!!!!
Hey -- if you're not getting the idea -- here's a video -- with the bonus of a jackass in Birkenstocks.
THIS IS A BREAKING NEWS UPDATE. Check back soon for further information. AP's earlier story is below.
BOISE, Idaho (AP)—Under fire from leaders of his own party, Idaho Sen. Larry Craig on Tuesday said the only thing he had done wrong was to plead guilty after a complaint of lewd conduct in a men's room. He declared, "I am not gay. I never have been gay."
"I did nothing wrong at the Minneapolis airport," he said at a news conference with his wife, Suzanne, at his side.
Oh for crying out loud, man. Two words jump to my mind "NEGRO, PLEASE".
Hey -- I wonder if, after the press conference, he thanked everyone for "coming out."
Lastly -- The KLown is asking for you peeps to hold onto your hats -- cuz it seems like this fucker goes public with an "I'm not gay" statement everytime someone drops a fucking hat.
This video is 5 mins long.
2 mins into it he totally axes for forgiveness.
3 mins into it he says found jesus and axed him for forgiveness.
Ok -- the Klown will make several observations:
1 - How in the hell do you graduate high school if you use "axe" in place of "ask?"
2 - What kind of shitty college would allow you to use the word "axe" after your first semester?
3 - Now we know what kind of crap-assed education you'll get at Virginia Tech.
4 - What kind of a moron would take an illegal dog-fighting operation and name it "Bad Newz Kennels?" I mean -- if he had a cocaine-selling operation would he call it "Dusty White's Nose Candy?" I mean -- WTF?
And now the Klown will make the call on Michael Con-Vick.
When he's finished serving his time, I hope the best for him. I hope he's learned something. I don't care if he plays football or not -- he fucked up, he's paying the price -- when it's done -- it's done. We've all done stupid-assed shit but we haven't all been caught. And that's what the Klown thinks.
Petr and Fatima arrive as a wedding is about to begin. Women are busy making traditional Kyrgyz bread for the occasion, and men sit in chairs outside, talking and sipping tea. The groom confesses he has had some difficulty finding a bride, but he is hopeful that "this one will stay."
When the bride does arrive, she is dragged into the groom's house, struggling and crying. Her name is Norkuz, and it turns out she has been kidnapped from her home about a mile away.
Fatima had prepared Petr for this scene, telling him that the custom of bride kidnapping is shocking, but he is still stunned by what he is seeing.
As the women of the groom's family surround Norkuz and hold down both of her hands, they are at once forceful and comforting, informing her that they, too, were kidnapped. The kidnappers insist that they negotiated the abduction with Norkuz's brother, but her sister, a lawyer from Osh, arrives to protest that her sister is being forced to marry a stranger. Ideally in Kyrgyz circles, a bride's family gets a price for their daughter, but Norkuz is 25 -- considered late to marry -- and the women remind her she is lucky she was kidnapped at all.
Monday, August 27, 2007
The issue is controversial because it involves scientists taking an animal egg, removing its genetic material and putting DNA from a human cell into it. This can be used to create lines of stem cells which can then be made part of studies into incurable genetic diseases such as motor neurone disease.
To do this work they would need a large number of embryos to make stem cells, far more than could be achieved by asking women to donate their eggs for research. Stem cells are immature cells that can be engineered to develop into many different kinds of tissue, which is important for medical research.
Minger, senior lecturer in stem cell biology at King's College London, believes it makes far more sense to use a hybrid than taking a human embryo, created using a human egg and sperm, because scientists could use eggs taken from ovaries of thousands of cows that are slaughtered every day. More here:
Yes -- now see? ... this make plenty of sense ... you know ... to everyone except religious fanatics. Meanwhile -- what if they screw up and one of their "concoctions" lives and grows? .... wooooOOOOOooooo. They should start with part woman and part mink ... that way ... if it ever grows up, it won't be harping for fur all the fucking time.
Whale harpooned, hauled in by Japanese boat in front of whale-watching tourists.Ohhhhhh -- the ironing is really delicious. (Do not make an idiot of yourself e-mailing me to tell me it's supposed to be "irony.")
SAPPORO -- Eco-tourists on a whale-watching vessel, looking forward to observing the mighty creatures in their natural habitat, were instead greeted by the sight of a harpooned whale being dragged in by a Japanese whaling vessel on Friday.
At about 10:44 a.m. on Friday, a whale was spotted spraying water from its blowhole near a whaling boat, about 3.5 kilometers away from the whale-watching vessel off the coast of Hokkaido's Shiretoko Peninsula. But when the vessel approached, the passengers on board found that the whalers had harpooned the Baird's beaked whale, and it was hauled in by the whaling boat about 20 minutes later.
About 20 passengers on the whale-watching vessel looked on, voicing their pity as the whale was captured. A French woman who was on the vessel with her husband reportedly said the experience made her feel ill.
There were two other whale-watching boats nearby, but one of them left after a child started crying.
The 46-year-old captain of the passenger vessel was disappointed by the incident, which took place about 14 kilometers east of Rausu Port in Hokkaido.
"It's my job to show people whales and it's the whalers' job to catch them, but I wonder how this can be avoided," he said.
One of the two whaling companies operating the whaling ship, meanwhile, filed a protest against the whale watching vessel with the Rausu town government.
"The passenger boat approached us, which was extremely dangerous. We think this could be considered dangerous sailing, and we want you to issue a warning," the protest said. (Mainichi)
LMAO - he wonders "how could this have been avoided." *Wipes away a tear* Oh -- let me think -- cuz this is a toughie. Wait ... I got it ... try watching whales where there aren't whalers killing whales ... whew. It's obvious this "tourist boat" was trying to interfere with the whalers -- and then they feign "shock and horror" -- just like a lib to mislead -- lie, cheat, steal to get their way.
Madison Ave. Warms to Climate Change
Shops Vie for Al Gore's Alliance for Climate Protection Biz
ByMatthew CreamerandBrooke Capps
Published: August 27, 2007
Not too long ago, a premier ad agency wouldn't touch a campaign warning about the effects of global warming, fearing backlash from the automakers and oil companies that keep Madison Avenue's lights on. But now one of the most hotly contended pitches out there is for the Alliance for Climate Protection, the organization formed last year by Al Gore.
Four elite agencies -- Crispin Porter & Bogusky, Bartle Bogle Hegarty, the Martin Agency and Y&R -- are squaring off for the business and are expected to present to the former vice president himself early next month, according to executives familiar with the review. The budget for the "historic, three-to-five-year, multimedia global campaign," as the request for proposals puts it, is contingent on how much money the alliance raises. Media spending will likely be more than $100 million a year.
Son .... of .... a ..... bitch, I thought we got rid of this jackass. I hope the agencies that are taking this business lose their legitimate business. Please -- PLEASE -- the Klown is pleading with the legitimate companies to get together and shun these agencies.
Meanwhile -- prepare to get global warming crammed down your throat -- you know -- since you aren't eating it on your own.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
A homeowner in Orange County, Fla., shot and injured a man breaking into his home, according to sheriff's deputies.
Investigators said the homeowner noticed Harvey Lee Williams entering his house on Pine Street early Saturday and grabbed a gun.
The homeowner then opened fire, hitting Williams in the arm, police said.
Williams was taken into custody and then transported to Orlando Regional Medical Center. He was treated and then taken to jail.
The homeowner, who was not identified, will not face charges in connection with the shooting.
Neighbors said break-ins are common in the neighborhood.
Yep -- and as soon as that brainless jackass gets out of the hospital, he's going to come back for the homeowner. Note to yourself -- if you're going to shoot -- shoot to kill -- take them out or you're going to lose sleep for years waiting for him to take his revenge.
And don't count on the liberal-ass government to punish the criminal either -- they won't. More than likely, that pinhead criminal has a rap sheet as long as your arm -- prolly over 20 convictions -- but the criminal is a victim ... but YOU? -- FUCK YOU -- NOBODY IS CONCERNED WITH YOU -- SHOULDN'T YOU BE AT WORK -- EARNING MONEY AND PAYING TAXES -- SO THIS CRIMINAL CAN HAVE AN AIR CONDITIONED CELL??
Keep voting Democrat.
(AP) BRUSSELS, Belgium The European Union on Tuesday urged Gov. Rick Perry to halt executions and introduce a moratorium on capital punishment in the United States' busiest death penalty state.
In an unusual direct appeal, the EU said Perry must "exercise all powers vested in his office" to halt the impending 400th execution since Texas resumed carrying out death sentences in 1982.
The execution of Johnny Ray Conner is scheduled for this week. He is to die for the shooting death of a Houston grocery store owner during an attempted holdup in 1998,
"The European Union notes with great regret the upcoming execution in the State of Texas," the bloc said in a statement.
More liberal pap here if you want to read the rest of the article -- I don't.
Yes -- I bet you libs DO have great regret that we're about to kill a murdering jackass ... a lowly piece of shit ... a drag on society. Hey -- EU -- The KLown wishes it was your mothers that were killed instead of the poor grocery store owner. But thanks for helping. Perhaps you could go coddle a criminal, terrorist or dictator since you libs are so fond of them. Meanwhile -- try not to talk to people with brains, JACKASSES.
Perry spokesman Robert Black responded that while Texas "respects our friends in Europe" the state would decline the call for a moratorium.
"The reason our forefathers fought a war 230 years ago was to throw off the yoke of a European monarch so that we may have the freedom of self-determination," Black said. "Texans long ago decided that the death penalty is a just and appropriate punishment for the most horrible crimes committed against our citizens."
Oh -- and in the language of international diplomacy -- GO FUCK YOURSELVES, JACKASSES.
A 3-year-old border collie from Michigan that can open the fridge and flush the toilet has been named the most talented pet in the United States.
Toula, who belongs to Christine Mahaney, won Petco’s “Most Talented Pet” competition over 600 other dogs.
Family faces jail for having a pet antelope
The family named the 3-month-old pronghorn antelope "Poudre."
Wildlife officials believe Poudre was taken from Wyoming illegally and brought to Greeley.
They believe Poudre has been raised with a dog and is now completely tame.
Poudre was taken to a rehabilitation facility in hopes it could someday be released back into the wild.
Yes -- so let me get this straight -- an antelope is hanging out with a family -- BIG CRIME -- HUGE -- time for you flannel-shirt & waffle-stomper wearing jackasses in Colorado to leap into action. JAIL THE FAMILY -- RELEASE THE ANIMAL. ALL HAIL THE GENIUSES.
The Klown gives the antelope exactly one week in the wild before it meets it grisly demise. Way to go, Colorado "earth people" -- pat yourselves on the back -- go back in the cabin and smoke some more dope, JACKASSES.
The government in the Indian capital, Delhi, has said a ban on women serving alcohol should continue because of the negative attitude and behaviour of men.
Last year, the Delhi high court struck down parts of a 92-year-old law that prohibited women from serving alcohol in bars and restaurants.
The ruling was welcomed by several aspiring female bartenders as well as India's Hotel Association. But before the ban could be withdrawn, the case was back in the courts.
And this time, the Supreme Court is due to rule on the issue.
The Delhi government argues that the city's men cannot hold their drink and that is why it is unsafe to allow women bartenders in pubs and restaurants.
Well, at least here in America they still hate the gay peeps ... so they're still managing to hold onto SOME cave-man ideas. ARrrrrrgh -- doona let the gays serve in the military -- doona let women serve alcohol in bars -- yessir, we're really accomplishing good for our respective societies -- wait -- I think just made in my pants again.
I'm telling you -- it's a wonder the Klown doesn't grab a baseball bat and start roaming the earth -- looking for you jackasses. The truth is -- I don't have to look -- I'm surrounded.
Saturday, August 25, 2007
Live From Congress: The Skull Fucking Bill Of 2007
His name is Ted Haggard.
A few short months ago, he was getting massages from a gay male escort -- then he'd buy some meth and let the gay male escort raunch him in the fudgetunnel. Oh, such wonderful times. But then he got busted ... probably not a huge deal ... except he was a preacher.
Well -- hallelujah -- he's back -- he says he's CURED of his homosexuality -- and he wants your cash. The Klown might have considered it if he came back and said "Sorry -- I'm a homo -- I've made piece with it and now I'm going back to preaching."
This conflicts with my Klowny sense. I think you're born homo or hetero and that's it - nothing you can do about it. There's nothing you can do to make me become a homo -- and I don't think there's anything you can do to make a homo become hetero.
And that's what the Klown thinks.
Here's a link to his letter -- asking for your curp.
I just don't know where to start here. Let's see ... first of all ... it sounds like it was written by some guy who said "We must speak to them at their level ... in their language ... so they understand us and think we're cool ... you know ... so they listen to the message."
Ok -- no you don't -- they know a poser when they see/hear one -- you DUMBASS -- you aren't fooling ANYONE. Sheesh -- it's no use trying to reason with someone this stupid.
Secondly -- this ad uses so many slang words, I can't figure out if it's a parody -- or if they're being serious?
Thirdly -- if the cell phone is supposed to be a "hip young kid", he'd be toothless if he talked to me with such a smartass attitude. Don't tell me to "hold up" shitforbrains.
Lastly -- the "hip young kid/cell phone" has the accent of a ghetto gangster jackass. I love how the anti-drug peeps don't think this is a problem -- sure -- let him think it's ok to keep talking like that -- and you'll be talking to him at the drive-thru in Mcdonalds very soon. No one is going to give this kid any responsibility when he sounds like an idiot. But nobody tells them -- that's just great.
Here's the ad text -- I switch the radio station as soon as it comes on.
SFX - CELL PHONE RINGS
Son's Cell Phone's Voice: Mr. Johnson, this is Greg's cell phone calling.
Father: My son Greg?
Son's Cell Phone's Voice: Yeah. I'm with him all the time. I know what's up.
Father: Yeah? What's up?
Son's Cell Phone's Voice: The other night Greg was at this cat's crib and he was smoking a blunt.
Father: What?! I'll put the fear into that kid.
Son's Cell Phone's Voice: No, I meant the other dude. Greg passed.
Father: Still, if he was there. Let me talk to Greg.
Son's Cell Phone's Voice: Hold up. G's taking a test right now. I'm turned off.
Father: Then how...
Son's Cell Phone's Voice: Try us back after school... that's prime time.
ANNCR: Talking. The Anti Drug.
Learn more at the antidrug.com.
Sponsored by the ONDCP and The Partnership for a Drug Free America.
Click here to play the audio -- if you haven't heard it -- absolutely pathetic.
Iran closes barbers offering 'un-Islamic' cuts
Iran has shut down barber shops offering unconventional Western hair styles amid a police crackdown on dress deemed un-Islamic, reports said.
"Over the past 15 days, 13 barbers' shops that had not respected the union's directives have been closed down," police commander Mohammad Ali Najafi said.
He told the Etemad daily that the barbers' union had banned eyebrow-plucking for men as well as "deviant Western styles".
"Eleven women's beauty saloons were also shut down for not having a licence or for violations such as tattooing, which is banned by a health ministry directive," he added.
Tehran's barbers' union said in April that police had issued a directive forbidding its members from giving men offbeat hairstyles. The directive also banned the use of cosmetics in male salons.
Shoulder-length, spiky or heavily gelled styles for men have long angered Iran's religious conservatives.
Police also launched a renewed crackdown last month against women whose skimpy headscarves or figure-hugging clothing violate the dress code in force in Iran.
The Klown thinks this would be great to do in California.
Friday, August 24, 2007
By Bill Hobbs August 24, 2007 - 09:13 ET
(Seattle Post-Intelligencer?? -- Didn't the Klown just kick their ass a few days ago for that stupid editorial they had about "You can tell a Bush supporter cuz they look stupid"?)
Seattle Post-Intelligencer Managing Editor David McCumber has posted a blog item defending his decision to not run the photos of the two ferry passengers the FBI is seeking in order to question them about their suspicious activities on several Seattle-area ferries in recent weeks.
McCumber says the paper didn't consider the photos news-worthy.
I certainly have plenty of feedback to consider from the ferry photo issue as we go forward.
I understand that people have a hard time with the concept that we get to decide what is news and what isn't, and what is fair and what isn't.
Several people have basically told me I didn't have the right to withhold the photos of the individuals the FBI want to identify. One person even said, "You have a responsibility to obey all FBI directives."
That's not the way a free press works.
Here's the rest of the article:
Take it from the Klown -- the liberals and the liberal press are working as hard as they possibly can to get you and/or your friends killed.
Klown note: No -- the libs aren't in TOTAL charge of your security -- yet ... but they probably will be soon. And when they get there, people you know will be killed.
Washington State authorities and the FBI on Monday released photos, taken by the captain of a Pugent Sound ferry, of two men that passengers and crew saw acting suspiciously -- taking photos of doorways, for instance -- but Thursday's Good Morning America seemed more concerned about “ethnic profiling” than identifying the potential terrorists who had been seen on up to a half-dozen ferries.
“The case is raising concerns about security. But it's also raising concerns about possible ethnic profiling,” declared news reader Kate Snow.
Reporter Neal Karlinsky asked: “Are these two men terrorists casing the boats for attack?” or “are they totally innocent passengers, the victims of ethnic profiling?” After noting their suspicious behavior, Karlinsky characterized them as victims: “But the men are not accused of anything, leading the Muslim community to wonder, what if the two men did not appear to be of Middle Eastern descent?” Aziz Junejo, Seattle Muslim Community spokesman, asserted: “To point that person out because of the features of a Middle Easterner is just plain wrong.”
Karlinsky concluded: “The FBI says the huge ferry system is among the most vulnerable maritime targets in America. The question is, are these men a threat, or just victims of a jittery public?”
Yes -- acting suspiciously on six different ferries is just a "coinkydink" -- you jittery publics, you ..... KABOOM-BLAM-BOOM!!!!!
By Noel Sheppard August 24, 2007 - 11:22 ET
On Thursday, Alex Johnson wrote an article about beleaguered quarterback Michael Vick published at MSNBC.com.
In it, he quoted Rev. Al Sharpton as basically saying that the whole issue was being over-hyped due to racism stating, "If the police caught Brett Favre (a white quarterback for the Green Bay Packers) running a dolphin-fighting ring out of his pool, where dolphins with spears attached to their foreheads fought each other," Favre wouldn't get arrested.
Problem is that quote came from a parody website called News Groper.
Here's the entire hysterical quote reported at National Review's Media blog Friday which has subsequently been removed from the MSNBC.com story
So some campers catch this jackass peeping on them -- they catch him and tie him to a tree until the "real police" get there.
His name is really spelled "Berkey" -- but I couldna resist.
Here's the video:
Best combo of all and here it is -- just for you.
A stray group of pit bulls attacked employees of a Milwaukee television and radio station before... 8/2007 AP
Here's the video:
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Rough justice: 80 lashes for 'immoral' Iranian who abused alcohol and had sex
Saeed Ghanbari receives 80 lashes for abusing alcohol and having sex outside marriage
Yes -- sex is for married people only, you dumbass ... and alcohol issss verboten ... uh ... I mean "forbidden" -- sorry -- got carried away.
His face covered by a balaclava, an official brandishing a cane repeatedly lashes the back of a man found guilty of breaking Iran's morality laws.
Two police officers hold the legs of 25-year-old Saeed Ghanbari and another his arms to ensure there is no escape from the punishment of 80 lashes handed down by a religious court.
What -- they just "hold your legs?" ... for 80 lashes? I'm thinking I'd have to be tied down ... but who knows -- there is probably a worse punishment for flinching -- at least there WOULD BE if the Klown were in charge. These dumb fucks don't know how to torture peeps properly.
Traffic was brought to a halt in Qazvin, 90 miles west of the capital Tehran, as more than 1,000 men gathered behind barricades to watch the public flogging.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Woman rejects ballpark marriage proposal
You know things are wrong in Astro-land when even a wedding proposal can't go off smoothly.
During Monday night's 7-0 loss to the Nationals at Minute Maid Park, a fan failed in his public attempt at asking his girlfriend to marry him, the Houston Chronicle reported on its Web site.
With the couple on display on the stadium's jumbotron, the male fan got down on one knee to present the ring. The woman, wearing a replica Astros jersey, appeared to dump a bag of popcorn on the man before hastily making her way up the stairs amid a chorus of boos, the newspaper reported.
The man left after the top of the sixth inning, cheered and consoled by an apparently sympathetic crowd.
"If it was an act, she put on a good one," Astros manager Phil Garner was quoted as saying after the game. "She looked totally surprised and then totally mad. We couldn't even get a proposal right down here tonight.
"We lead the league in marriage proposals, and we couldn't get that one right tonight."
The Klown says "that's what you get for letting the media tell you how romantic it is to propose on a jumbotron." No wonder she rejected your dumbass. Duh -- I always do what the media tells me I should.
Annually The Queen of England has her picture taken with her personal guards. It usually gets published in Newspapers in England. I rather think that this one was picked up by many papers and-or magazines and we may see it around everywhere. Somehow, I think that her Right-Hand Man is not going to have his job much longer!!!!!!
Click here for a bigger pic:
The woman was able to grab a gun and try to shoot the dogs, then break away from the attack and lock herself in her car, where she called 911, sheriff's spokesman Ed Troyer said.
The woman, who was not immediately identified, was taken to a hospital in Tacoma, where she was listed in serious condition.
Officers planned to talk to the dogs' owner.
The pit bulls also killed a neighbor's Jack Russell terrier, which entered the house during the attack, Troyer said.
"The thought is that the Jack Russell heard noise in the neighbor's house, came in and was attacked by the dogs," Troyer said.
Firefighters responded first, locking the dogs in the house, treating the woman and calling for an ambulance.
Officers "had to pepper spray and fight the dogs until they were detained. We almost had to shoot them on site," Troyer said.
The dogs were taken to a Humane Society and will probably be destroyed, he said.
Well -- they prolly didna mean to do it -- after all, the Klown has been told by the American media that Pit Bulls are just like any other breed and that their owners are to blame for their viciousness ... and since the media all agree, then it must be true ... right?
Yes -- my instincts and commen sense were wrong again -- luckily, the geniuses in the media keep me on the right track.
What matters is that Harry Reid wanted to surrender on April 19. (4 months ago?) But why -- WHY KLOWN -- would he want to surrender?
1 - Democrats are cowards. They would surrender their farm AND your farm to the first despot that threatens America .... "oooo oooo don't hurt us, don't hurt us ... we'll tell on our neighbors and friends ... DO WHAT YOU WANT TO THE GIRL BUT LEAVE ME ALONE."
2 - To make America look bad. Democrats (The Klown thinks they should change their party name to the "Fraidycrats.") are like the masochists of politics. They just want to submit -- after all -- they've been bad -- very bad little boys and girls -- and they need/want/deserve to be punished -- and the more humiliating, the better.
Anyway -- here's the DIPSHITOCRAT, Harry Milktoast Reid, in his own words.
The poor old Scandinavian moose is now being blamed for climate change, with researchers in Norway claiming that a grown moose can produce 2,100 kilos of methane a year -- equivalent to the CO2 output resulting from a 13,000 kilometer car journey.
The Klown contacted Al Gore for a comment and he said "OOOoooooooo, I hate those meeses to pieces."
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
You have to use one of these if the "enemy" is running his/her mouth, just to get thru the bullshit.
Zookeepers found the dead, half-eaten body of a 23-year old man inside a bear cage in a Serbian Zoo during an annual beer festival:
Two adult bears, Masha and Misha, had dragged the body to their feeding corner and reacted angrily when keepers tried to recover it.
Zoo director Vuk Bojovic said: "There’s a good chance he was drunk or drugged. Only an idiot would jump into the bear cage."
The Klown never gets tired of these stories -- mostly because you just KNOW it's a liberal.
An elderly man in Georgia had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked."
Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
100% of those polled thought that liberals were a dangerous bunch of jackasses.
This poll has a margin of sampling error of plus or minus zero percentage points.
Don't believe me? Let's try again ... to be sure.
Congressman has big "run-in" -- bad action going on -- CNN (Commie News Network) can't figure out his political party -- so they left it out -- you know -- cuz that stuff isn't important -- unless the bad guy is one of those Republicans.
A Google search on his name takes less than half a second to determine he's a DIMocrat ... in case your IQ is under 25 & "congressman from California" doesn't clue you in.
From an article by D. Parvaz in the Seattle-Post-Intelligencer (Intelligencer? WTF?)
As a kid, I went through a brief phase of trying to be Hello Kitty. I tried to sculpt my hair into strange, high pigtails and copped a blank stare, arms hanging at sides, head always turned to the side. My classmates found it creepy, so I dropped it after, like, two days.
But in some cases, it seems, supporters cannot only emulate an idol's behavior or lifestyle, but can also genetically resemble their hero.
So. I'm sorry to report that President Bush's most loyal supporters look just like him: White, male, middle-aged and slightly stupid (sorry guys, I calls 'em like I sees 'em).
Oh, DOES YA now??
You mean, Bush, who went to Harvard and Yale?
Bush, who has an MBA?
Bush who is a fighter pilot?
Bush who was the Governor of Texas?
Bush, who is the President of the United States of America?
Yes -- yes -- he's an idiot ... and YOU'RE a genius ... RIGHT?
And since you worship Micheal Moore and Rosie O'Donnel, can I use your flawless/genius logic and determine what you look like? ... YOU DUMB SNATCH!!!
"Sorry guys, I calls 'em like I sees 'em" -- Nice -- very feminine. Are you trying to fit in with the "men" (ahem) there at the paper? ... or did you watch too much Popeye last night.
On the editorial board at the paper huh?
D. Parvaz is an editorial writer and member of the P-I Editorial Board. E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Yeah -- very impartial and objective. While the President is doing all he can to kick the everloving shit out of Al Queda (however you spell it), this shitforbrains "objective reporter" uses the phrase "Bush's asinine 'war on terror.'"
Make no mistake about it -- people like her are the enemy and they should be treated as such. She isn't interested in any "discussion" -- she is only interested in YOU doing as she says -- period. Somebody pin this medal on her.
Here's the rest of her lame-assed article if you care -- I don't.
Film Critic Roeper Calls MRC, Conservatives Racist, Elitist
By Robert Knight August 21, 2007 - 12:16 ET
Reacting to an MRC (Media Research Center) press release, Chicago Sun-Times critic Richard Roeper lashed out at MRC President Brent Bozell and Culture and yours truly for applauding the record-breaking viewer numbers racked up by Disney Channel’s "High School Musical 2." Roeper makes the nonsensical argument that Disney is known for wholesome stuff, so what’s the big deal? But then he wraps up his piece with this shot:
One more thing for the conservative movement to consider before they get too attached to the 'High School Musical' franchise: It could be argued that the primary messages contained in both 'High School Musical' movies are quite liberal.
As one parent and certified Disney-phile told me Monday, "As wholesome and family-friendly as these films are, both 'High School Musical' films promote tolerance, interracial dating and rejection of elitism -- all 'liberal' themes that drive those religious right-wingers nuts."
Translation?: conservative religious people are for racism, intolerance and elitism. Pure ad hominem from Mr. Roeper, and a typical liberal media slam.
The Klown notes ... poor jackass move critic ... he prolly wants to be a real "jourrrrrrnalist" so badly he felt he had to slam conservatives to impress the rest of the newsroom.
You got me? ... Jackass?
August 17th was the 30th anniversary of Elvis' death.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Matthews: "Well you have to wonder about his exposure now because he's used executive privilege to protect himself from Pat Leahy on the Judiciary committee and Congressman Henry Waxman, both hot to trot to get him in a witness chair. I think Henry Waxman is gonna go after him now. He's not involved in any criminal proceeding with, like Scooter Libby is. He can't claim he's in the appellate process. He's exposed now, it seems to me, on the leak case. In terms of the eight U.S. Attorneys that were fired, I think he's also exposed there, not having the White House position any more."
Yes -- this moron, he can't wait for Rove to leave the White House so those Democrats can get him in the wintess chair -- Right? Chris Mathews? Mr. OBJECTIVE?
Mathews ... Bill Plante ... ALLLL the "Objective jackasses" are in on the deal. I wonder what Mark Levin would say about this? Oh -- nevermind -- Here's Mark to tell you in his own words:
Sunday, August 19, 2007
LMAO -- Keep scrambling, jackasses.
Friday, August 17, 2007
Thursday, August 16, 2007
At Bits and Pieces, the pic was captioned "2 balls."
It took the Klown a minute or two to figure it out. My first thought was "what sport is this guy playing?"
Bishop urges Christians to call God 'Allah'
Catholic leader believes it would help ease tensions between religions
Catholic churches in the Netherlands should use the name Allah for God to ease tensions between Muslims and Christians, says a Dutch bishop.
Tiny Muskens, the bishop of Breda, told the Dutch TV program "Network" Monday night he believes God doesn't mind what he is called, Radio Netherlands Worldwide reported.
The Almighty is above such "discussion and bickering," he insisted.
Yes -- if only we had been calling God "Allah" we'd never have been attacked by radical Islam and nobody would have had their head sawn off. How could we have been so blind? Luckily, Father McDumbass is here to help.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
HOUSTON (AP) - In a confrontation captured on videotape, a hospital security guard fired a stun gun to stop a defiant father from taking home his newborn, sending both man and child crashing to the floor.
Now the man says the baby girl suffers from head trauma because she was dropped.
Yep -- when a police officer or security guard tells you to do something -- forget them -- you don't have to take orders from them -- you do whatever the fuck you want. Then -- when someone gets hurt - the press will always -- ALWAYS blame the cop or sercurity personnel.
I only wish that it was a cop telling a criminal to "drop the gun" just before the criminal fires a round though the head of an "objective jourrrrrnalist."
By the way -- why do you have to tell a criminal to "drop the gun?" That's the dumbest-ass thing ever. It's like saying "hey -- dangerous criminal with a gun -- there's danger over here."
Cops busting a few caps in the asses of these jackasses is just the medicine they need. And no lawyer would have to tell the judge the guy "went off his meds."
Rush on the left - Rove on the right.
RUSH: I would like to introduce you all to Karl Rove. Karl, welcome to the EIB Network. I cannot tell you how great it is finally to have you here with us.
KARL ROVE: Well, thanks, Rush. I'm honored you'd ask me and delighted to be with you.
RUSH: You haven't probably heard about this, although it won't surprise you, but I've gotta tell you something. It's a hilarious story. The editor of the Seattle Times was conducting a staff meeting when they learned of your resignation announcement, and everybody stood up and started cheering, and --
KARL ROVE: Ha-ha-ha-ha! Was my wife there?
KARL ROVE: Was my wife in that crowd?
The Klown heard this interview this afternoon -- you can click here to read the whole thing.
Everyone says "Klown -- why does the press hate Karl Rove? ... Why do they hate him more than anyone else in the White House?
The Klown's answer?
1 - They automatically hate him because he is a conservative ... but they hate everyone in Bush's cabinet for the same reason.
2 - They hate him more because he has no respect for "objective jourrrrnalists" and he tells them so. He tells them to cram jam all the time -- he laughs at them and makes fun of them. He doesna do this out of pure meanness -- he does this because he knows they're liars and cheaters and thieves. He knows that all they want is to make him look bad at every opportunity. He knows that no matter how good he treats them - they would screw him to the wall if they got half a chance. Therefore he gives them no chance -- no interviews -- no nothing -- except to tell them to go pound sand up their asses -- and THEY HATE IT.
In the interview with Rush, he says so -- not in so many words -- not in such a crass manner -- but if you have a half a brain, and can read between the lines -- you can see it for yourself.
Now you know.
Nifong: The Dog Ate My Law License Read his letter to find him sniveling about the "unfairness of it all." But he's not referring to himself railroading innocent people -- oh no -- he's only concerned about himself -- again.
Hey -- Nifong -- you dumbest of all jackasses. You tried to railroad innocent people. And now you think you're being treated "unfairly?"
FUCK YOU - JACKASS. THE KLOWN CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THESE KIDS HAVE ALL YOUR MONEY -- ALL OF IT -- JACKASS. ALSO -- WATCH OUT FOR THE CORNHOLE (Office Space) ... YOU KNOW ... BIG MEN IN PRISON MIGHT RAUNCH YOU IN THE FUDGETUNNEL WHILE THEY'RE WEARING PIG MASKS.
China Launches New Crackdown on Media
BEIJING (AP) - China announced Wednesday that it would carry out a wide-ranging crackdown on "false news" and illegal publications ahead of the ruling Communist Party's most important meeting in five years.
The crackdown, to run through mid-October, appears aimed at ratcheting up the Communist Party's already tight media controls to prevent any disruptions that would marring the 17th Party Congress. The party tries to tightly control the media in China and is sensitive to any criticism of its grip on power or questions about its top leaders.
Say it ain't so, Comrade. What cracks me up is that American "jourrrrrnalists" can say whatever they want -- they love Castro, Chavez, -- any commie. Most of the media wants America to be communist (although they call it "progressive".) And yet all commie regimes eventually "crack down on the media."
I mean -- are these people masochists? They want to be "cracked down on?" Or is it just that "the ironing is delicious." (Bart Simpson)
Our founding fathers thought "Freedom of the press" was important.
Our liberty depends on the freedom of the press, and that cannot be limited without being lost. Author: Thomas Jefferson
Jefferson said this knowing that the press was not an honest institution nor likely was it ever to become honest -- but he knew that the freedom was necessary.
The Klown thinks that Jefferson was under the impression that the American people -- being thankful for thier liberty -- would pay close attention to the press and ensure they checked on their facts enough to separate wheat from the chaff. Ha HAHAAAAAA.
From what the Klown sees, the American people allow the press to lead them by the nose-ring. How many Americans do you know think the media can't "say something unless it is true?"
Canadian team discovers gene that turns cancers off
August 13, 2007 at 6:49 PM EDT
A unique gene that can stop cancerous cells from multiplying into tumours has been discovered by a team of scientists at the B.C. Cancer Agency in Vancouver.
The team, led by Dr. Poul Sorensen, says the gene has the power to suppress the growth of human tumours in multiple cancers, including breast, lung and liver.
The gene, HACE 1, helps cells fight off stress that, left unchecked, opens the door to formation of multiple tumours.
Dr. Sorensen's team found cancerous cells form tumours when HACE 1 is inactive, but when additional stress such as radiation is added, tumour growth is rampant.
Kick-starting HACE 1 prevented those cells from forming tumours.
The study appears in the advance online publication of Nature Medicine.
Okie dokie -- so what? How does this help the Klown? Can they cure me if I get cancer? If not, how long will it be before this information leads to a cure? Jeez -- it's like I have to go down there and ask the questions myself to get the answers included in the article. My guess is the objective jourrrrrnalist was too busy thinking of how to denigrate conservatives in his next article.
Monday, August 13, 2007
Yeah -- take that, Bush, you bastard (from a totally objective journalist, of course.) It's pretty hard to beat the steady media drumbeat of "Conservative bad - Liberal good" when you play by the rules. Of course, objective jourrrrrnalists lie and cheat and steal every day -- and they're STILL surprised when they win.
Here's what the jackass looks like -- he's on the left.
Sunday, August 12, 2007
If you haven't guessed by now, the Klown loves this guy.
About 5 minutes of audio here. By the way -- Mark is pissed -- turn your volume down a bit before launching this audio -- he is yelling like a man who is losing his liberty.
One of the Klown's favorite things is when idiot parents partake in the accidental killing of their idiot offspring.
A burglar was killed trying to sneak into the Maranatha Used Clothing store in Miami on May 31; police said the man had crawled between the blades of a large, idle ventilation fan but that before getting all the way through, he accidentally tripped the "on" switch. [WKMG-TV (Orlando), 6-1-07]
One of the Klown's favorite things is when a criminal kills himself while committing a criminal act.
Astronauts fall into two categories, Pilots and Mission Specalists.
Pilot Astronauts are all former military pilots, most have test pilot experience. This is because a lot of what pilot astronauts do is flying test vehicles. The Space Shuttle is almost 30 years old, but before that the Mercury, Gemini, and Apollo programs were all developing the spacecraft as they went along.
The Pilot Astronauts mostly have advanced degrees as well. They are engineers to start with, pilots on top of that (most with combat experience) and then they often pick up another advanced degree just to make them more competitive. Buzz Aldrin was the first astronaut to have a doctorate, he did his doctoral thesis on orbital mechanics and how two space ships could link up and dock.
Mission specalists are people who are associated with a particular bit of cargo the Shuttle is going to fly. Sometimes they are scientists who come with a particular experiment. Some of them came from private industry back when NASA was trying to use the shuttle as a vehicle to launch private satilites... they would come with the satilite. Some of them come from the military if the Shuttle is doing a classified mission (which they don't do any more... Shuttle is too unreliable for the USAF.) Some of them are "stunts" like taking up a Senator to get support for NASA in Congress, or when they took up John Glenn to get publicity, or the teacher in space deal.
The university that produced the most astronauts is the United States Naval Academy. In second place is a civilian school... I think it is a state school in Ohio but I don't recall.
Check this link out for what is expected of an astronaut
Saturday, August 11, 2007
SAN FRANCISCO—A sellout crowd rose to its feet and exploded into ecstatic cheers Tuesday night as Barry Bonds completed the downfall of America's most revered sport by hitting a thundering 435-foot shot into the right center field bleachers for career home run No. 756 and tainting baseball's most beloved record.
Celebrations broke out throughout AT&T Park and thousands of flashbulbs went off as Bonds took his ceremonial trip around the bases, his arms raised in a jubilant gesture of triumph as he completed his desecration of baseball. Fireworks filled the night sky to mark the utter destruction of the national pastime, a scramble for the infamous baseball broke out in the stands, and the game was interrupted for 10 minutes in the bottom of the fifth to mark the shameful occasion.
Mike Bacsik, the pitcher who made the difficult and admirable decision to pitch to Bonds as if he were a normal player, and who will forever be known as the man whose fastball was sent out of the park along with the last remnant of baseball's self-respect, could only watch. Bonds would later present Bacsik with an autographed bat.
Moments after Bonds crossed home plate into the loving arms of his family and the eventual judgment of history, he addressed the fans, thanking them for their support on his long, hard road of perverting baseball.
"Thank you very much. I got to thank all of you, all the fans here in San Francisco. It's been fantastic," he said to his deluded and complicit home crowd as his godfather Willie Mays, a fading symbol of what baseball once was, stood at his side.
As soon as Bonds completed his self-congratulation, a self-conscious gasp could be heard as a videotaped message from Hank Aaron was played over the video screen, sending surprise and a fleeting moment of uncomfortable self-awareness through both the crowd and Bonds himself.
"Throughout the past century, the home run has held a special place in baseball and I have been privileged to hold this record for 33 of those years," said Aaron, whose legacy of persevering with profound personal dignity through racism and persecution to become the all-time home run leader will hopefully not be tarnished by public acknowledgment of Bonds.
"I move over now and offer my best wishes to Barry and his family on this historic achievement," Aaron concluded, displaying infinitely more grace than Bonds, baseball fans, and perhaps even baseball itself had any right to ask of him.
Bonds then presented his helmet, gloves, and bat to a steward of the Baseball Hall of Fame for shipment to Cooperstown, where they will be enshrined forever, allowing fathers and sons to come and stare at them glumly as they bear mute witness to baseball's diminished glory.
The Nationals won the game, 8-6.
Man claims decapitated snake bit him
A man was bitten by the decapitated head of a rattlesnake on his propery on Monday evening. Danny Anderson, 53, and his son saw the five-foot snake while feeding horses. They pinned it with a pipe and cut off its head with a shovel.
When Anderson reached down to pick it up, he said the snake head twisted around and bit his index finger. He said if felt like his hand was in a fire pit.
In the ten minutes it took to reach Prosser Memorial Hospital the venom spread through his body and his tongue had already started to swell. He was treated with shots at the hospital and at Kadlec Medical Center in Richland.
State Fish and Wildlife Department biologist Mike Livingston said it's possible the snake had the heat-sensing ability to make one last attack or it may have been a reflex.