Monday, July 30, 2007

Stop the war - we're going on vacation

From Drudge:

Iraqi Parliament Adjourns for August
BAGHDAD (AP) - Iraq's parliament adjourned Monday for an August recess without receiving from the government a series of U.S.-backed draft laws designed to promote national unity and stem support for the Sunni-led insurgency.
More here:

Dee Klown -- he say "Huh?"

The Klown's favorite radio talk-show host

This post started out to be a short apology to the Klown's liberal friends (yes, he has some.) Mark Levin has a sound byte on his show that says "doing the best I can to reach out to my liberal friends ... and SMACK SOME SENSE INTO THEM." I was looking for that clip -- didn't find it. So take this clip instead and you'll get a flavor of his radio show. You libs will have to suffer it out -- I didn't get around to the apology.

It's about a 2-minute clip.

Objective jourrrrrrrnalism

Completely inaccurate -- Still seems biased -- Just right

Sunday, July 29, 2007

The Klown's pea brain was amazed

So -- I was driving to work this morning -- about 6:30AM. The sun was a HUGE red ball ... just over the horizon -- just beautiful. As I contemplated how perfectly everything works, I started to wonder about the different sizes of stars ... So I googled 'er this afternoon.

Turns out, the diameter of the Earth is about 8,000 miles. The Sun's is a little bigger than 800,000 miles ... but it's 93 million miles way.

What if Rigel was our sun instead. Its diameter is about 53,000,000 miles. NEE (as in the knights who say "nee". )

So if it were centered at the same place as the sun, its surface would reach about 1/4th of the distance to the earth. needless to say, we'd be toast. And Rigel isn't even CLOSE to being the biggest star.

Here are some pics to help you capisky.




Here are the diameters:
Got the pics from here:

FYI -- the star named "Betelgeuse" -- is pronounced "Beetle-juice".

Hippie loses track of time - needs haircut

Yes -- the establishment, man. I went to the meeting and I got fired by a bunch of little Eichmann's. It was horrible man ... a real downer ... hey ... is it dark in here or it is just me?

Oh god -- if only they could swab his eyes with some hippie-strength mace.

Totally objective piece-of-shit jourrrrrrnalists

From Grouchy Old Cripple:

Name That Party
As Don Suber sez: "So easy, even a caveman can play." He'd have to know how to read. Anyway, I found not one, but two stories where the Atlanta Urinal and Constipation neglected to name the scumbag's party. Wonder why?

The first instance was about an Atlanta city councilman who is under investigation about a charity that he runs.

For the past five years, Atlanta City Councilman H. Lamar Willis has solicited donors for a foundation he says he created to give scholarships to Atlanta students. The H. Lamar Willis Foundation has told major corporations —- which have contributed tens of thousands of dollars —- that donations are tax-deductible because it is a federally approved nonprofit.
But it's not, and it never has been.

The Internal Revenue Service says it has no record of the organization registering as a nonprofit or submitting required annual reports showing how it has raised and spent its money. The Georgia Secretary of State's Office also has no record of the foundation ever registering as a charity or a nonprofit corporation, as required by state law.

Willis, an attorney, has refused to provide The Atlanta Journal-Constitution with a list of donors or recipients of the money. Of the donors mentioned on the foundation Web site, many are companies doing business at the airport, which Willis helps oversee as a member of the City Council's transportation committee. Companies include Coca-Cola, Comcast, AirTran, Target and Turner Construction, among others.


That's the first four paragraphs and we still do not know which party this scumbag belongs to. There are 43 paragraphs remaining and the AJC doesn't see fit to name this guy's party, even when giving personal information.

Henry Lamar Willis, councilman-at-large
Age: 36

Hometown: Born and raised in Atlanta.

Education: Graduate of Northside High School and Morehouse College. Master's in public administration from Carnegie Mellon University, 1995; graduated from Boston College law school, 1999.

Career: After practicing law briefly in Florida, Willis worked for a series of Atlanta law firms from 2002-06, though not as an attorney because he had not passed the Georgia bar. He passed the bar last year and is now a sole practitioner focused on personal injury, tenant-landlord disputes and DUI litigation.

In politics: Won Atlanta City Council seat in 2001. Won second term unopposed in 2005. Current committee assignments: Community Development/Human Resources; Public Safety (former chairman); Transportation (former chair).


Here's what the AJC left out. He's black and therefore he's a Dimocrat.

Here's the second instance.

Durham, N.C. —- Disgraced former prosecutor Mike Nifong acknowledged Thursday there is "no credible evidence" that three Duke lacrosse players committed any of the crimes he accused them of more than a year ago, offering for the first time a complete and unqualified apology.
"We all need to heal," Nifong said. "It is my hope we can start this process today."

Nifong's apology came as a judge began considering whether to hold the former Durham County district attorney in criminal contempt of court for his handling of the case.


Of course we all know that Nifong is a Dimocrat, but if he had been a Republican, it would have been in the first paragraph. Once again, not only is this scumbag's party not mentioned in the first paragraph, it's not even mentioned at all.

"So easy, even a caveman can play.

Yes -- these low-down dried pieces of shit can never seem to find the party affiliation if the criminal is a DIMocrat --- but republicans?? -- mentioned in the first paragraph -- always -- count on it. You know -- cuz the American pubic is so stupid, they'll never realize what we're doing.

GD Sea Lion shoulda minded its own

From Drudge:

NEWPORT BEACH, Calif., July 28 (UPI) -- A 24-year-old angler has been arrested in California for allegedly stabbing a sea lion with a steak knife after the animal stole bait off his fishing pole.

Injuries to the 6-foot-long, female mammal were so severe she had to be euthanized several hours after the attack, the Los Angeles Times said Saturday.

Hai Nguyen, who was being held at Newport Beach Jail on $20,000 bail, is expected to be arraigned early next week on a charge of felony cruelty to animals. Nguyen could face a $25,000 fine and up to a year in prison if convicted.

The U.S. attorney's office also may file charges under the Marine Mammal Protection Act.

"It was close enough so he could just reach out and stab it in the water," Sgt. Evan Sailor, a police spokesman, told the Times. "A number of people witnessed it and called police."

The Times said sea lions and humans have been at odds in recent years along the coast, particularly in Newport Beach, because the animals wreck docks, make noise at night and sometimes leave strong odors.

But the Pacific Marine Mammal Center said it rarely rescues sea lions intentionally hurt by humans.

Arabs make jackasses of themselves - again


Arab princesses kicked off British Airways plane to jeers and whistles after refusing to sit next to male strangers

Qatar's Emir Sheikh Hamad bin Khalifa al-Thani: related to the Princesses

Three Arab princesses were thrown off a packed British Airways flight after refusing to sit next to male passengers they didn't know.

The dispute - in which the three princesses from the ultra-conservative Qatar royal family demanded segregated seating - left the London-bound plane delayed on a baking Italian runway for nearly three hours.

Furious passengers whistled and clapped as the row intensified before the captain eventually ordered the women to be escorted off the plane.
More here:

WTF is wrong with these people? Are they retarded or what? "Hey -- watch this, I'm going to put on a dress and a half a cape and then I'm going to act like I was raised under a rock -- or sand -- or huge pile of donuts where I had to eat my way out ... Oh -- and I'm going to pretend as if I have princesses with me - hahahaharab"

I think they mislead you in this quiz - careful

You have to identify male or female butts.

The Klown went 9 for 15 -- kinda lame -- but I didn't put too much effort into it.



Saturday, July 28, 2007

These guys rock -- or ... something

From J-Walk:

Texas long eggs -- I like these already

From Neatorama:
Bunk Strutts at Say No To Crack explains where these “long eggs” come from. Why, from long chickens, of course!

“Yep they’re longer, bigger hens. But we don’t raise ‘em for the meat so much as the aigs. A reglar chicken don’t lay no more than one a day. These chickens lay one long one every three days, an’ it take about three hens lined up to hatch it.”

The world is changing in more ways than a google times your face. In southeast Texas, recent immigrants have introduced a new breed of poultry, known locally as “Texas Long Hens”. Originally bred in China, these unusual birds measure more than 30 inches from beak to tail, and some grow to be up to 45 inches long.

The only sheriff in America with a brain?

From Drudge:
Sheriff to Bar Illegals from Visiting County Jail Inmates

The Maricopa County Sheriff's Office is developing system designed to keep illegal immigrants from visiting county jail inmates.

Sheriff's deputies would do background checks on every one who comes for a jail visit.

"We will be looking at some type of procedure where we identify illegals coming into the jail. They won't be able to come in."

When someone comes to the jail to visit an inmate, they're required to show ID. Arpaio says the background check will be completed before their next jail visit.

Those who can't prove citizenship would be denied a second visit and could be arrested.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio says one man decides who gets to visit an incarcerated loved one. "I run the jail. I decide who goes in there."

"I run the jail and I have to be careful for security reasons."

Arpaio says screening jail visitors is nothing new. Since 2004, over 1,600 people with felony criminal histories have been turned away when trying to visit a Maricopa County jail inmate.
------
The Klown says, "if you don't know who this guy is, get off my blog right now and never come back." GO JOE!! - GO JOE!! Oh, there's also this:

PHOENIX - The county sheriff said he won't disconnect a hot line he created for people to report information about illegal immigrants that has been decried as promoting ethnic profiling.
Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio stressed Wednesday that deputies would investigate people only if authorities had probable cause.

The hot line began last Friday and has received about 300 messages, which include tips about family and friends, employment, day laborers, houses where smugglers drop illegal immigrants, and crank calls.

Arpaio said officials are analyzing the tips but have not acted on any of them.

"There's nothing unconstitutional about putting up a hotline," Arpaio said, pointing out that federal immigration officials have similar hot lines.

Yeah -- they have similar hotlines but they don't do shit when they get information -- but the Klown has a feeling that Joe Arpaio will be doing something with his info.

Asshole liberals afraid of dissent

From Drudge:

The head of the Environmental Protection Agency says he will investigate a threatening letter sent by the leader of an EPA-member group, vowing to "destroy" the career of a climate skeptic.

During a Capitol Hill hearing yesterday, Sen. James M. Inhofe, Oklahoma Republican and ranking member of the Environment and Public Works Committee, confronted EPA Administrator Stephen L. Johnson about the strongly-worded letter written July 13 by Michael T. Eckhart, president of the American Council on Renewable Energy (ACORE) that was sent to Marlo Lewis, senior fellow of the Competitive Enterprise Institute (CEI).
More here:
------------------
Yes -- the EPA -- another wonderful government agency bleeding your pockets dry. Pack climate change up your ass, you gullible fuckwits.

Pat Tillman was awsome

From Drudge:
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) - Army medical examiners were suspicious about the close proximity of the three bullet holes in Pat Tillman's forehead and tried without success to get authorities to investigate whether the former NFL player's death amounted to a crime, according to documents obtained by The Associated Press.

"The medical evidence did not match up with the, with the scenario as described," a doctor who examined Tillman's body after he was killed on the battlefield in Afghanistan in 2004 told investigators.

The doctors - whose names were blacked out - said that the bullet holes were so close together that it appeared the Army Ranger was cut down by an M-16 fired from a mere 10 yards or so away.

Ultimately, the Pentagon did conduct a criminal investigation, and asked Tillman's comrades whether he was disliked by his men and whether they had any reason to believe he was deliberately killed. The Pentagon eventually ruled that Tillman's death at the hands of his comrades was a friendly-fire accident.

Among other information contained in the documents:

- In his last words moments before he was killed, Tillman snapped at a panicky comrade under fire to shut up and stop "sniveling."

More here:

Barry Bonds calls Bobs Costas a midget

From Drudge:

NEW YORK (AP) - A day after Barry Bonds called him a "little midget man who knows (nothing) about baseball," broadcaster Bob Costas said he wasn't upset with the San Francisco Giants slugger and responded with a jab of his own.

"As anyone can plainly see, I'm 5-6 1/2 and a strapping 150, and unlike some people, I came by all of it naturally," Costas said Thursday in a telephone interview.

On this week's edition of HBO's "Costas Now," commissioner Bud Selig, Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling and chemist Patrick Arnold discussed Bonds, his pursuit of Hank Aaron's home run record and suspicions that Bonds has used steroids. Schilling and Arnold said they believed Bonds had taken performance-enhancing drugs.
More here:
----------------
Yeah -- Hey Barry, you're a MENTAL MIDGET!! How ya like those beans, cheating asshole. There is no way in hell you'd ever have amounted to a hill of beans with your crappy talent and pea brain -- so you had to use the drugs -- fuck off, jackass. It's a good thing you play in San Francisco -- cuz those idiots can be convinced of anything.

I wish he had suffered greatly and then died

From Drudge:

Cops: Man, 93, Shoots Violent Robber

EL DORADO, Ark. (AP) - An elderly man beaten unconscious by an assailant wielding a soda can awoke and shot the man during an attempted robbery, police said.

Willie Lee Hill, 93, told police he saw the robber while in his bedroom Wednesday night. Hill confronted the man and was struck at least 50 times, police said. He was knocked unconscious.

Covered in blood, Hill regained consciousness a short time later and pulled a .38-caliber handgun on his attacker. The suspect, Douglas B. Williams Jr., saw the gun and charged the man, who fired a bullet that struck Williams in the throat, police said.

"I got what I deserved," Williams, 24, told police when they arrived, officers said. Investigators reported finding, among other items, a Craftsman drill bit set, three pocket knives and two hearing aids inside his pockets.
More here:

Hey -- Williams -- no you didn't "get what you deserved." But if you want to get what you deserve, get in a baseball bat storage room with the Klown for 5 minutes -- just thought I'd offer, you JACKASS.

Pilot not staying at assigned altitude?

I don't know the reason -- but these two helicopters collided while covering a high speed chase in Phoenix. Warning - shocking videos here:

Har

I recall my first time with a condom, I was 16 or so. I went into a drugstore to buy a package of condoms. There was a beautiful woman behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.

She handed me the package and asked, if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No."

So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So, she looked all around the store. It was empty. She said, "Just a minute," and walked to the door, and locked it. Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. She asked, "Do these excite you?"

Well! , I was so dumbstruck that all I could do was nod my head. She then said, it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and laid down on a desk.

"Well, come on," she insisted, "we don't have much time."

So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and pow, I was done within a few minutes.

She looked at me with a frown. "Did you put that condom on?"

I replied, "I sure did," and held up my thumb to show her.

New sport for Michael Vick

Tear him a new one, Fido.

Activist judge delivers crushing blow to America

From Drudge:

UPDATE 07-28-07

New York Sen. Charles (SHITFORBRAINS) Schumer, a powerful member of the Democratic leadership, said Friday the Senate should not confirm another U.S. Supreme Court nominee under President Bush “except in extraordinary circumstances.”

That's right Chucky, -- deliver more crushing blows to America, you closeted commie asshole.
----------------------------------
Court throws out city's illegal immigration law

By Jon Hurdle

HAZLETON, Pa (Reuters) - A U.S. judge on Thursday struck down as unconstitutional a local law designed to crack down on illegal immigration, dealing a blow to similar laws passed by dozens of towns and cities across the country.

U.S. District Judge James Munley said the city of Hazleton, 100 miles north of Philadelphia, was not allowed to implement a law that would fine businesses that hire illegal immigrants and penalize landlords who rent rooms to them.

"Federal law prohibits Hazleton from enforcing any of the provisions of its ordinances," Munley wrote in a 206-page opinion following a federal trial in which Hazleton's law was challenged by civil rights groups.

More here:

Way to go, Braniac judge. The Klown thinks many people will be robbed, cheated, and killed, due to this ruling.

I guess 30 years of putting liberal judges on the bench (while blocking conservative judges) is taking it's toll. It seems like the last 10 years has been nothing but a constant stream of idiotic decisions handed down from the courts.

I sure hope a Democrat is elected president so they can dump all the conservatives in line and continue packing the courts with more liberals.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Yes -- tell us all about it, genius

From Drudge:
Bloomberg Speaks Out About 'Immobilized' America
In his first network interview since leaving the Republican Party in June, New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg told ABC's Robin Roberts that America is in a dire state.

"We have too much crime on the streets," he said on "Good Morning America." "People are getting killed throughout the country. We have an education system that's not educating everybody. That's detrimental to the whole country, including the people who are left behind."

More (but not much) here:


Whaaaa? People being robbed and killed (mostly by criminals released early from jail)??
You say the education system is turning out complete morons??
Why didn't someone alert us to this -- you know -- other than the constant screaming of Americans for the last 30 years. Nice observations, Bloomberg, you dipstick.

The Klown will try this show

Producers: `Cavemen' Not Racial Metaphor

BEVERLY HILLS, Calif. (AP) - The producers of ABC's new "Cavemen" said Wednesday the comedy is much more than the insurance company commercials that inspired it, but isn't designed to be an ambitious allegory about race.

Geico's TV spots show highly evolved but shaggy-looking cavemen chafing at misconceptions about their sophistication and intelligence. The series, debuting Oct. 2, follows another trio of Cro-Magnons facing prejudice as they try to fit in contemporary society.

"If the show works, it will work because people care about these three guys under a lot of makeup and ... can relate to their problems and find them charming," producer Mike Schiff told the Television Critics Association's summer meeting.

The pilot is being re-shot, ABC said. The network and producers said they decided it jumped ahead too far in the characters' lives and failed to establish them properly.

One reporter asked why the cavemen don't ease their way by getting a shave and a haircut.

"There's a name for those kind of people, and they're called 'shavers,' and the cavemen community looks down on them," Gordon said.

Why didn't the Klown think of this?

From J-Walk:
Bank Security Questions

At Gripe Line: Insecure Questions:
"My two banks recently instituted the security questions as part of their online security. I don't do a lot of online banking, so I go in with one and was asked the question 'What's your favorite candy?' There are only two candies that I eat, peanut M&M's, and Reese's. But try as I might, I could not get the answer right, and there was no facility to switch questions. I had to go into the bank physically, where they called someone, put me on the phone with them so that they could verify I was who I said I was, and then reset my account.

Another example:

"On one site, they wanted the name of my first pet but their program wouldn't accept my answer because the name of my first pet didn't have seven letters or more," wrote one more reader. "I complained about this nonsense to their rep when I contacted them on the phone -- not being able to log on to their web site -- and she gave me a hint. No matter what the question is -- pet name, color of first car, favorite teachers name, etc. -- you can probably answer them all with the same response. So that's what I did. The pet, car color, and teacher questions all now have the same answer -- an eight-letter word for male cow droppings -- and it seems to work fine. False security, anyone?"

Yes -- this is becoming more and more common -- and it's a huge pain in the ass. Up to now I have actually been writing down the answers, just in case -- and I have actually had to consult them. From now on, I shall be using the method above.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Shining Beacons of Arrogant Greedy Fuckwits

Congressmen get elected -- immediately put their spouses and children on their payroll. They either put them on their payroll or get them on lobbyist's payroll.

Hell, some of them put their spouses/kids on the campaign payroll. If you don't know why that's disgustingly immoral, just stop reading this piece right now. Seriously -- give it up, go find some cartoons. If there's one thing the Klown can't stand, it's someone with their hand in his back pocket saying "I'm not stealing your wallet."

Zebra: "Hey, you're biting my butt."
Lion (muffled by mouthful of butt): "No I'm not."

The CREW (Citizens for Responsibility and Ethics) released the results Monday of its ''systematic investigation'' into 337 congressional incumbents who hired family during their campaigns in 2002, 2004 and 2006.
The Klown notes this does NOT include members who have their children as lobbyists.

• 96 (44 Democrats and 53 Republicans) used their positions to financially benefit family members;

• 64 (26 Democrats and 38 Republicans) paid family members through their campaign committees or PACs;

• 24 (10 Democrats and 14 Republicans) have relatives who lobby Congress;

• 19 (9 Democrats and 10 Republicans) used their campaign committees or PACs to pay a family business or a business that employs a family member;

• 17 have used their campaign funds to make campaign contributions to relatives;

• 15 used their positions to benefit a family member or a family member's client;

• At least 7 paid offspring who ranged from school-age to college-age.

And remember: ''Some members of Congress who have been publicly criticized for paying family members, like Rep. John Doolittle (R-Calif.), are not included in the report because they are neither committee chairs nor ranking members,'' the group says in introducing its findings.
------------------
I started looking for lists of congressmen who have lobbyist kids but couldna find one. Instead, I only listed the leader of both houses ... believe me, there are plenty more. You can find them in Dick Morris' book "Outrage." Great book, by the way.

From noagenda.org
Just four weeks after Nancy Pelosi became speaker of the House this past January, Gupta and InfoUSA hired her son as a senior vice president. He told NewsMax InfoUsa pays him $180,000 a year. Even though his job with InfoUSA is considered full-time, Paul Pelosi continues another full-time job, as a home loan officer at Countrywide Home Loans, part of Countrywide Financial, in San Mateo, a suburb of San Francisco. Yes, this seems OK -- the Klown gets paid $180k per year too -- you know, while I also do my regular job. Oh wait -- no I don't.

From the SP Times:
The members of Congress featured in the investigation expressed no qualms about their sons, daughters and spouses trying to influence legislation. Some don't allow their relatives to lobby them directly, and many insist their relatives have no substantial influence over their actions.

For example, Sen. Harry Reid, D-Nev., said he rarely discusses legislation with his four sons and son-in-law who lobby. Yet Reid successfully pushed legislation in 2002 that opened tens of thousands of acres of federal land for private development by none other than his sons' employers. The legislation was chock full of jargon, and Reid never mentioned the companies that stood to benefit or his sons' connections to them. Oh really? -- what a shocker.


Click here to buy Dick Morris' book:
Outrage: How Illegal Immigration, the United Nations, Congressional Ripoffs, Student Loan Overcharges, Tobacco Companies, Trade Protection, and Drug Companies Are Ripping Us Off . . . And (Hardcover)

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

We're commies - We taketh no shit

UPDATE:
From Drudge:

Chavez: Critical Foreigners to Get Boot

CARACAS, Venezuela - President Hugo Chavez said Sunday that foreigners who publicly criticize him or his government while visiting Venezuela will be expelled from the country.

"How long are we going to allow a person _ from any country in the world _ to come to our own house to say there's a dictatorship here, that the president is a tyrant, and nobody does anything about it?" Chavez asked during his weekly television and radio program.

Oooooo - Oooooo - The Klown knows -- call on the Klown -- OK
The answer is ... "obviously, not very fucking long, eh Karl Marx"?
Chavez: "You must have mistaken me for the American government -- my bad -- now GET THE FUCK OUT -- KA-BOOT. "

And another thing -- why do all these dictators run around in Army fatigues?
More here:

UPDATE:
CARACAS, Venezuela - President Hugo Chavez called a cardinal from Honduras an "imperialist clown" after the Roman Catholic prelate warned of increasing authoritarianism under the Venezuelan leader.

"Another parrot of imperialism appeared, this time dressed as a cardinal. That's to say, another imperialist clown," Chavez was quoted as saying in a bulletin posted Tuesday on the state-run news agency's Web site.

The Klown loves how real communists and wannabe commies (Democrats) both toss around the term "imperialist."

God Botherer? -- LMAO

From Nothing to do with Arbroath:

The Klown's take?
More big-brother government "helping."
Hey Aussies ... Keep voting for liberals.

Parents may be prosecuted for insults
Squabbles over the remote control or whose turn it is to empty the dishwasher are the bedrock of daily family life. But mothers and fathers who insult each other in front of their children may now find themselves on the wrong side of the law.

Australian courts have begun ordering parents to refrain from making offensive remarks, claiming that constant carping between couples can damage young minds.

The orders relate not only to expletive-laden abuse, but to any remark that might be used by one parent to turn a child against the other. The type of comments that have attracted judges' opprobrium include many seemingly innocuous ones, such as references to "Your silly mother", or asking "Has your father got a job yet?".

Dianne Gibson, the director of child dispute services at the Family Court, acknowledged there might be alarm over judicial intervention into the private sphere, particularly among households where domestic disharmony is commonplace. But she added: "They may say it's just playful banter, but it's not banter from the point of view of children. Derogatory comments really do have a harmful impact."

While there is a certain subjectivity over what constitutes a derogatory remark, Miss Gibson said it was the purpose of the comment, not the words, that was important. Expressions such as "He never amounted to anything", " Your father never had any friends", "She's just a God-botherer", "My mother always thought he was no good" and "He's only a store man" have all been deemed unacceptable.

Problem focusing camera?

From Nothing to do with Arbroath:

A mysterious blonde paid a visit to a petrol station shop in the small eastern German town of Doemitz on Sunday - wearing nothing but a pair of golden stilettos and a thin gold bracelet.The tall, slender woman strolled into the shop in the town of Doemitz on the warm afternoon and bought cigarettes, said petrol station employee Ines Swoboda.

"I wasn't surprised because she's come in naked before - she's a very nice woman," Swoboda said, adding none of the other customers was bothered. The woman could have faced charges of creating a public disturbance if anyone had complained. A quick-witted customer did, however, snap pictures of the woman believed to be about 30 years old as she walked back to a waiting Ferrari and climbed into the passenger seat. Several of those photos appeared in the German media on Monday.

For the record -- the Klown endorses this behavior.

Cindy Sheehan - Performance Evaluation Time?

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Calling for the impeachment of U.S. President George W. Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney, Cindy Sheehan and 45 fellow Iraq war protesters were arrested on Monday after they refused to leave a U.S. lawmaker's office and adjoining hallway, authorities said.

Sheehan and fellow protesters were led away in plastic handcuffs after they refused to heed repeated calls by Capitol Police to depart the office of Democratic Rep. John Conyers of Michigan, and a hallway outside his office.

"What do we want? Impeachment. When do we want it? Now," Sheehan and others chanted while seated on the floor of Conyers' office following her private meeting with him.
More here:

Well -- the Klown figures it this way:
To most people, Cindy Sheehan does not "appear" to have a job.

That is a mistake -- she has a job alright -- her job is leading a bunch of kooks in demonstrations etc. She gets paid by left-wing organizations. (George Soros?)

She is probably up for a performance evaluation so she does come crazy shit just before the evaluation -- you know -- it's raise time. Getting arrested at the Capitol was prolly one of the "milestones" on her performance plan.

These lefties are only commies when it comes to YOUR money. When it's THEIR money -- they're ALL about MBA (capitalist tools) performance measurements -- you know -- methods that actually work.

Hippie resists launch into dumbassosphere

From Drudge:
BOULDER – The University of Colorado Board of Regents voted to fire Ward Churchill on Tuesday evening, prompting the promise of a lawsuit from the embattled professor.

Churchill and his supporters then participated in a Native American ceremony outside of the building."I am going nowhere," said Churchill. "This is not about break, this is not about bend, this is not about compromise."

If you haven't guessed -- this guy likes to play like he's an Indian.

Churchill touched off a firestorm in 2005 after an essay surfaced which he wrote shortly after 9/11 likening some victims in the World Trade Center to Adolf Eichmann, who helped carry out the Holocaust.

University officials concluded he could not be fired for his comments because they were protected by the First Amendment, but they launched an investigation into allegations that he fabricated or falsified his research and plagiarized the work of others.

In 2006, a university committee found Churchill guilty of academic misconduct, including plagiarism and a faculty panel recommended he be demoted and suspended for a year without pay. In May, CU President Hank Brown recommended Churchill be fired.
More here:

And then there's this from the American Indian Movement:

The American Indian Movement Grand Governing Council representing the National and International leadership of the American Indian Movement once again is vehemently and emphatically repudiating and condemning the outrageous statements made by academic literary and Indian fraud, Ward Churchill in relationship to the 9-11 tragedy in New York City that claimed thousands of innocent people’s lives.

Churchill’s statement that these people deserved what happened to them, and calling them little Eichmanns, comparing them to Nazi war criminal Adolf Eichmann, who implemented Adolf Hitler’s plan to exterminate European Jews and others, should be condemned by all.

The sorry part of this is Ward Churchill has fraudulently represented himself as an Indian, and a member of the American Indian Movement, a situation that has lifted him into the position of a lecturer on Indian activism. He has used the American Indian Movement’s chapter in Denver to attack the leadership of the official American Indian Movement with his misinformation and propaganda campaigns.

Fasten your seatbelt Chief Jackass -- they're lighting the solid rocket boosters on your ass.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Colonoscopy humor

From Bits and Pieces:

The president had a colonoscopy on Saturday. Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5.. "You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

12. "God, now I know why I am not gay."

And the best one of all..

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?"

I'm so much cooler online

Another objective jourrrrrrnalist (Shitpiece)

From Ace of Spades:

MSM: "Staunch Republican" Decides He Cannot Vote For GOP Any Longer; Alas, This GOP Diehard Donated 90% To Democrats Since 1994
—Ace


Jennifer Hunter, columnist for the Chicago Sun-Times, knows the sorts of stories her employees want. 1) War protesters are all very normal Middle-Americans with no history of previous political agitation and in fact are all patriotic grandmas who are lifelong Republicans, and 2) lifelong Republicans are forced by conscience to disown the GOP.

She offers up Story Type 2 here. So what if the guy's actually a very partisan, and generous, liberal? What's important is the metanarrative, the Greater Truth that the GOP sucks balls.

On July 16, Ms. Hunter wrote a column which began: "After watching the top five Democratic candidates for president speak before a trial lawyers' group Sunday, attorney Jim Ronca of Philadelphia, a staunch Republican, became certain of one thing: He is not going to vote for a Republican in the 2008 presidential election."
A suspicious reader checked out Mr. Ronca's political contributions. Mr. Ronca had made 14 since 1994 -- 12 to Democrats. The Democratic candidates received $7,000; the GOP candidates $750.

Mr. Ronca's contribution record was posted on several Web sites, whose readers flooded Ms. Hunter with demands for a correction.

If Ms. Hunter had fessed up, I wouldn't be writing about her. But she responded by attacking Web loggers for doing the research she should have done, and blaming her error on her editor.


She claimed the editor distorted her piece by elevating an insignificant (non-) fact to the headline. But, alas, that supposedly meaningless (non-) fact was contained in her lede.

Dumb editor! Thinking her lede sentence could possibly be important!

The Klown adds: "Have you ever noticed the mainstream media has never found a "staunch Democrat?"

Freedom, Iranian Style

From Drudge:

It all starts with one simple sentence, spoken almost in a whisper, but which has a thunderous effect.

A female police officer deployed in Tehran's latest moral crackdown tells a woman that her manto (overcoat) is too short and infringes Iranian Islamic dress rules.

"Azizam (my dear), good afternoon, if possible could we have a friendly chat, please allow us to have a small chat," the officer, a graduate of Tehran's police academy, tells the young woman.

Yes -- a friendly chat -- in the way that your friends threaten to jail you -- all in fun of course -- all in good fun - SLAM.

"My dear there is a problem with your manto. Please do not wear this kind of manto. Please wear a longer manto from now on."

Some are just let go there, but others are escorted to waiting minibuses with dark black tinted window panes and labelled "Guidance Patrol."

A girl in a short white manto whose long hair was tumbling out the front of her headscarf is taken by the police to one of the minibuses on Vanak Square in central Tehran -- an unexpected and unhappy end to her shopping trip.

Another arrested woman is already inside the bus. She begins to cry. "I promise, I promise!"
And the minibus doors slam shut.

Wow -- sounds great.

Lots More here:

Monday, July 23, 2007

Everybody's in a gang now?

From Drudge:


What's the call? Why does every shithead with ears feel they need to flash some sort of idiot sign when they have their pics taken? I found this on the Drudge report with Kelly Clarkson mentioned in the headline - WTF is she? American Idiot? - er ... I mean Idol.

I guess most peeps would be shocked

From Drudge:
Serious Security Questions at Sky Harbor Airport
We've discovered a 4.5 hour time frame each night when virtually anything can be brought into the secure side of Phoenix Sky Harbor Airport. There's no metal detector, no X-ray machine, and it's apparently not a problem.

Afraid to show her face, one long time Sky Harbor employee talks about the security most people don't see.

Lisa Fletcher: "You're telling me Sky Harbor's not safe?"

Employee: "I'm telling you Sky Harbor's not safe and hasn't been for a long time."

It's what we discovered in the middle of the night - TSA agents going away, and security guards taking over. It's 4.5 hours - every night - when an employee badge becomes an all-access pass.

Night after night, our hidden cameras captured what security experts tell us is a disaster waiting to happen.

The X-ray machines were off, the metal detectors were closed, and bags with unknown contents were carried to the secure side of the airport where the planes are.

We watched as a security guard let people with purses, coolers and suitcases
walk right through - bags unchecked.

More here:

Yep -- the Klown happens to know this type of thing happens at more airports than Sky Harbor. If you are an employee and you enter through the "employee's entrance", your bags aren't checked -- nothing. I think any baggage handler could stick a bomb on an airplane without much trouble at all. You think politicians will do anything about it? Why haven't they already? Funny, huh? HaHaHaha-KA. (I only wrote the "KA" cuz you'd never hear the "BOOM" after it ... well ... if you did, nobody would ever know it.)

Sunday, July 22, 2007

How the world got populated - in what order


Very interesting

Democrats say "Fuck You" to Americans

From Hot Air:

That's right -- if you see something suspicious and then report it to the authorities, the Democrats want to be sure you can be sued for it. It's just another way for the Democrats to screw America. No wonder the symbol for Democrats is a jackass. Thanks, jackasses

Democrats are trying to pull a provision from a homeland security bill that will protect the public from being sued for reporting suspicious behavior that may lead to a terrorist attack, according to House Republican leadership aides.

The legislation, which moves to a House and Senate conference committee this afternoon, will implement final recommendations from the 911 Commission.

Rep. Pete King, New York Republican and ranking member of the House Homeland Security Committee, and Rep. Steve Pearce, New Mexico Republican, sponsored the bill after a group of Muslim imams filed a lawsuit against U.S. Airways and unknown or “John Doe” passengers after they were removed for suspicious behavior aboard Flight 300 from Minneapolis to Phoenix on Nov. 20 before their removal.

“Democrats are trying to find any technical excuse to keep immunity out of the language of the bill to protect citizens, who in good faith, report suspicious activity to police or law enforcement,” Mr. King said in an interview last night.

“This is a slap in the face of good citizens who do their patriotic duty and come forward, and it caves in to radical Islamists,” Mr. King said.

“I don’t see how you can have a homeland security bill without protecting people who come forward to report suspicious activity,” Mr. King said.

Republicans aides say they will put up a fight with Democrats when the conference committee begins at 1 p.m., to reinsert the language, but that public pressure is also needed.

Congress switchboard: 202-224-3121
Nancy Pelosi’s office: 202-225-4965

More here:

Woooooo - No, the Klown will not go up there.

From Drudge:
A group of racing camels pass under electricity lines in front of the world's tallest building under construction, the Burj Dubai, a 1,680-foot (512 meters) skyscraper in Dubai, United Arab Emirates, Saturday July 21, 2007. The building is now taller than Taipei 101 in Taiwan, which had dominated the world's skyline at 1,667 feet (508 meters) since 2004. (AP Photo/Kamran Jebreili)

The Burj Dubai is expected to be finished by the end of 2008 and its planned final height has been kept secret. The state-owned development company Emaar Properties, one of the main builders in rapidly developing Dubai, said only that the tower would stop somewhere above 2,275 feet.

When completed, the skyscraper will feature more than 160 floors, 56 elevators, luxury apartments, boutiques, swimming pools, spas, exclusive corporate suites, Italian fashion designer Giorgio Armani's first hotel, and a 124th floor observation platform.

After North American and Asian cities marked their 20th century economic booms with skyscrapers, the Gulf grew eager to show off its success with ever taller buildings. In Dubai, long an oil-rich Gulf symbol of rapid economic growth, the building reflects the city's hunger for global prestige.

The Klown wonders what will happen to these "oil-rich gulf" peeps if an alternative to oil is found. How long will it take them to go back to herding goats in the desert? Needless to say, all the "charities" which fund terrorists will be seriously lacking in funds. These "terrorists" (Al Queda, Palestinian gunmen, etc etc -- this is how they all get paid (or their families get paid.) So find an oil alternative - say goodbye to terrorists.

Most of the 4,000 laborers are Indian. They toil around the clock in Dubai's sizzling summer with no set minimum wage. Human rights groups regularly protest against labor abuse in Dubai, but local media rarely report such complaints.

LMAO - this lefty-assed reporter can't write a story on the success of capitalism without throwing in his stupid commie opinion. Yes -- these people are "toiling" -- they found jobs so they can earn money for their families -- but it isn't enough -- IT ISN'T ENOUGH!! "Hey -- human rights groups -- go in there and tell them they can't work that cheap -- that's right -- the developers will have to pay them more -- and don't worry, the developers won't raise their prices to cover the loss -- NOOooo -- the higher cost of wages only affects the rich -- the poor's prices NEVER go up --- WOW, THESE PEOPLE ARE STUPID.

More here:

Friday, July 20, 2007

Heh -- GO CHENEY!!

From The Corner at National Review Online:

A Busy Saturday [Kathryn Jean Lopez]


Readers are really into Cheney being president for awhile. Suggestions for Acting President Cheney include

Bomb Iran.
Commute the sentences of those border agents.
Fire Mike Chertoff.
Tell Harry Reid to ... well, you know...
Pardon Scooter.

UPDATE: An e-mail:

Three hours wouldn't be long enough to actually bomb Iran, given the necessary flight time. But ICBM's can be there in about a half-hour.

In addition, I think President Cheney should have a target practice session out by Rose Garden...

Harry Reid has slumber party in Senate

Way to go Harry -- you stupid fuck.

Seriously -- he has got to be the dumbest mf'r in the Senate.

"Hey everyone -- let's work all night -- for nothing. Let's pay no attention to a broken country -- but maybe we can make the Republicans look bad -- somehow."

WTF?? Is this for real?

From J-Walk:

Here's a Vilcus Plus Dactyloadapter.
The Vilcus dactyloadapter (adapter for fingers) was especially developed for people who like closing the electrical circuit with their own fingers.

Many people get a kick out of a direct contact with AC power supply. To that end, people normally use U-shaped fragments of bare wire, paper clips or even usual metal forks. All these gimmicks are unreliable, short-lived and, most important, tend to cause a short circuit or even an inflammation in the wiring.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

You recognize this guy?

From J-Walk:
Well -- he's not even CLOSE to being tired of looking like a retard.
More here:

I canna wrap my pea around how they do this

From J-Walk:
Cooler than crop circles.
Each year, farmers in the town of Inakadate in Aomori prefecture create works of crop art by growing a little purple and yellow-leafed kodaimai rice along with their local green-leafed tsugaru-roman variety.

More pics etc here:

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

WTF is this? -- A Beekeeper convention?


Running of the bulls in Pamplona

As usual -- several reports of peeps who got gored. I can't imagine the horror. I guess that means someone talked them into a coma about global warming.

Boy is this racist -- and hysterical

From Bits and Pieces:


Holy crapsola -- that IS scary




Contribute to Murtha - profit 1 Million Curp

Murtha -- they almost busted his ass in ABSCAM -- very close but the money ran out before the investigation was over. Yet -- his constituents always re-elect him -- way to go, Pennsylvania dumbasses.
---------------------------
What's a paltry one million dollars to a member of Congress?
Well, apparently not enough to know if an organization about to receive that big block of cash actually exists.

Republican Rep. Jeff Flake of Arizona, the fiscal crusader who's never met an earmark he likes, questioned Democratic Rep. Peter J. Visclosky of Indiana on the House floor Tuesday about whether the Center for Instrumented Critical Infrastructure actually exists - since, hey, it's getting like a million bucks or something.

Visclosky, who chairs the spending subcommittee responsible for the project, had to admit that, well, he didn't have a clue.

After a lengthy back-and-forth, Flake, complaining that his staff couldn't find a website for the center, asked Visclosky, "Does the center currently exist?"

"At this time, I do not know," the Indiana Democrat replied. "But if it does not exist, the monies could not go to it."

And who could possibly be the sponsor of such an earmark? Yes, you guessed it, the man Republicans love to hate, Pennsylvania Democrat John P. Murtha.

Despite the money's uncertain destination, the House rejected Flake's measure to strike the funds, 326-98. And the Visclosky bill also sailed through, 312-112.

As I said, what's one million dollars to a member of Congress?

It becomes clearer when you understand the following:
UPDATE: I failed to report last night that a certificate filed with the requested funds says the money is actually earmarked to Concurrent Technologies Corporation, a nonprofit technological consulting firm. A brief search of campaign finance records shows CTC President and CEO Daniel R. DeVos, of alternately Central City and Johnstown, Pa. has contributed $7,000 to Murtha's reelection campaign since April 2002.
--------------
HEY -- POLITICIANS -- don't worry -- 1 Million bux isn't something you should worry about. You were right to totally disregard the meaningless sum of money. FUCKING IDIOTS. ABSOLUTE FUCKING IDIOTS.

God made peeps naked - Man outlaws it

From Drudge:

HEY -- NAKED GUY -- PUT SOME CLOTHES ON -- YOU LOOK DISGUSTING PARADING AROUND THE WAY GOD MADE YOU.

Vermont town bans public nudity after brash displays

BRATTLEBORO, Vermont (Reuters) - A Vermont town that is gaining national attention for brash displays of nudity -- from teens in the buff to naked elderly people -- awoke on Wednesday to an emergency ban on nakedness in most public places.

Officials in Brattleboro voted 3 to 2 on Tuesday night for a temporary 30-day ordinance prohibiting people from going about in the nude.

Public nudity made headlines last summer when the weather grew hot and a couple of dozen teens took to holding hula hoop contests, riding bikes and parading past stores wearing only their birthday suits. The disrobing has resumed this summer.
More here:

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

Shitstain smokers pay for their filthy sin

From Drudge:
It's no mathematical error: The federal government has proposed raising taxes on premium cigars, the kind Newman's family has been rolling for decades in Ybor City, by as much as 20,000 percent.

As part of an increase in tobacco taxes designed to pay for children's health insurance, the nickel-per-cigar tax that has ruled the industry could rise to as much as $10 per cigar.

"I'm not sure in the history of man, since our forefathers founded the country in 1776, that there's ever been a tax increase of 20,000 percent," said Newman, who runs the Tampa business founded by grandfather Julius Caesar Newman. "They had the Boston Tea Party for less than this."

More here:

OH shutup, shitstain smoker -- just pay for children's healthcare and shutup -- shutup, shutup, SHUTUP. How DARE you question the moral judgement of the rest of us Americans? We point -- we point at you -- we holler "SHITSTAIN."

Jackass politicians let terrorists in

From Drudge:

Yep -- what a shocker -- the geniuses in Washington decided that protecting our southern border really isn't all that important. Meanwhile, Americans have been screaming at the top of their lungs to secure the border.

Well -- here they come -- as advertised in your local Al Queda news flyer.

Did you know that congress currently has over 300 "investigations" going? Oh yes -- indeedy -- all the assholes up there trying to bring down the other party. Nevermind your border ... the only thing that matters to them is political power and getting re-elected.

The FBI is investigating an alleged human smuggling operation based in Chaparral, N.M., that agents say is bringing "Iraqis and other Middle Eastern" individuals across the Rio Grande from Mexico.

An FBI intelligence report distributed by the Washington, D.C. Joint Terrorism Task Force, obtained by the Blotter on ABCNews.com, says the illegal ring has been bringing Iraqis across the border illegally for more than a year.

The FBI report, issued last week, says the smuggling organization "used to smuggle Mexicans, but decided to smuggle Iraqi or other Middle Eastern individuals because it was more lucrative." Each individual would be charged a fee of $20,000 to $25,000, according to the report.

More here:

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Hey Americans - Give us amnesty


Yes -- give us amnesty --
-- stupid assed Americans.
You probably don't care where this happened -- I know I don't.
If you do ... here's a link.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

Because ... where does he think he's going?


http://view.break.com/329276 - Watch more free videos

Yes -- for the gums

From Bits and Pieces:

100 Years Ago

From Bits and Pieces:

The year is 1907. One hundred years ago. What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1907 :


The average life expectancy was 47 years.

Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.

Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.

There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.

The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.

The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower!

The average wage in 1907 was 22 cents per hour.

The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year .

A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.

More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME .

Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION! Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard.'

Sugar cost four cents a pound.

Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.

Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.

Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used Borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn't been invented yet.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write.

Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, 'Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health.' ( Shocking? DUH! )

Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE ! U.S.A. !

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Presidink Klown's press conference

On July 12th, the President held a press conference. Here are the answers Presidink Klown might have given.
--------------------
Q Mr. President, thank you, sir. Are you going to order a leaks investigation into the disclosure of the NSA surveillance program? And why did you skip the basic safeguard of asking courts for permission for these intercepts?

A - Part A - There are leaks because of Democrat spies. We know who they are. There is no need for an investigation. Even if we had them arrested, they would never be convicted ... it would be a waste of our time. Just like when the Democrats spend every hour of every day investigating something and wasting money.

Let me give you an example about my concerns about letting the enemy know what may or may not be happening. In the late 1990s, our government was following Osama bin Laden because he was using a certain type of telephone. And then the fact that we were following Osama bin Laden because he was using a certain type of telephone made it into the press as the result of a leak by a Democrat operative ... And guess what happened? Osama bin Laden changed his behavior and got away. See ... to America's enemies (leakers/democrats), nothing is more important than making me look bad ... nothing.

Part B - We didn't skip the "basic safeguard", comrade. It's legal for me to utilize this method to protect the American people. If you think it isn't, take it to the Supreme Court ... or ... you know ... misuse your position as an "objective jourrrrrrnalist" and take advantage of your little soapbox on camera here at the press conference ... and act as if you know what you're talking about ... in front of all your commie friends.
-------------------
Q Mr. President, you have hailed the Iraqi elections as a success, but some lawmakers say you are not focusing on the threat of civil war. Do you fear a civil war? And how hard will you push Iraq's competing political parties to get a government and a constitutional compromise?

A Some lawmakers? SOME LAWMAKERS? -- HA -- That's a good one. I must tell you -- if right now I were to heal the entire world of AIDS & poverty -- SOME LAWMAKERS would still be calling for my resignation. So ... to answer your question ... I say I don't care what "some lawmakers" say about me now -- or ever -- thanks for the question.
--------------------
Q What would you say is the biggest mistake you've made during your presidency, and what have you learned from it?

A My biggest mistake has been not realizing that Democrats are such power-hungry shysters. Seriously -- I didn't know how little they cared about America. I didn't realize how willing they would be to lie and cheat and steal for power. I didn't realize how willing they would be to risk all they have and all the American people have ... just in exchange for power. And if you asked this question trying to get me to say "Iraq was my biggest mistake", you better go tell Nancy Pelosi it didn't work ... OK? Comrade?
--------------------
Q Thank you, Mr. President. If you believe that present law needs to be faster, more agile concerning the surveillance of conversations from someone in the United States to someone outside the country, why, in the four years since 9/11, has your administration not sought to get changes in the law instead of bypassing it, as some of your critics have said?

A I said it needs to be faster and more agile ... but I never said I bypassed the law. I guess you didn't hear the answer to the question earlier so you must be hard of hearing. HERE IS THE ANSWER AGAIN --- WE AREN'T BYPASSING THE LAW -- MY "CRITICS" WILL ALWAYS SAY WE'RE DOING SOMETHING ILLEGAL -- NO MATTER WHAT -- YOU GET ME? DUMBASS? Gd you peeps in the press never fail to impress the Klown with your stupidity.
---------------------
Q Thank you, Mr. President. You say you have an obligation to protect us. Then why not monitor those calls between Houston and L.A.? If the threat is so great, and you use the same logic, why not monitor those calls? Americans thought they weren't being spied on in calls overseas -- why not within the country, if the threat is so great?

A I love the sarcasm in your voice when you say "if the threat is so great." You're a gd idiot. The answer is ... BECAUSE THAT WOULD BE ILLEGAL - MORON. Unlike monitoring calls that originate from foreign countries. Do you understand the difference? Anyway, it's not so much a matter of how great the threat is -- it's a matter of what's legal and what is not -- can you get that into your pea-brain? No? I didn't think so, Ivan.
-----------------------
Q Democrats have said that you have acted beyond law, and that you have even broken the law. There are some Republicans who are calling for congressional hearings and even an independent investigation. Are you willing to go before members of Congress and explain this eavesdropping program? And do you support an independent investigation?

A "Democrats have said?" -- Too funny -- who cares what "Democrats have said." I'll tell you what I say -- I say Democrats are traitors and should be hauled into court and tried for treason. Now go ask them if they would support an investigation of that -- YOU JACKASS.
------------------------
Q You talked about your decision to go to war and the bad intelligence, and you've carefully separated the intelligence from the decision, saying that it was the right decision to go to war despite the problems with the intelligence, sir. But, with respect, the intelligence helped you build public support for the war. And so I wonder if now, as you look back, if you look at that intelligence and feel that the intelligence and your use of it might bear some responsibility for the current divisions in the country over the war, and what can you do about it?

A Well -- let's see. I think I can recall some other people who, in your words, "use of the intelligence" might bear some responsibility for current divisions over the war. It's a good thing curing amnesia isn't painful -- huh comrade?

"I will be voting to give the President of the United States the authority to use force -- if necessary -- to disarm Saddam Hussein because I believe that a deadly arsenal of weapons of mass destruction in his hands is a real and grave threat to our security."
- Sen. John F. Kerry (D, MA), Oct. 9, 2002 Source

"If Saddam rejects peace and we have to use force, our purpose is clear. We want to seriously diminish the threat posed by Iraq's weapons of mass destruction program."
- President Bill Clinton, Feb. 17, 1998 Source

"He will use those weapons of mass destruction again, as he has ten times since 1983." - Sandy Berger, Clinton National Security Adviser, Feb, 18, 1998 Source

"[W]e urge you, after consulting with Congress, and consistent with the U.S. Constitution and laws, to take necessary actions (including, if appropriate, air and missile strikes on suspect Iraqi sites) to respond effectively to the threat posed by Iraq's refusal to end its weapons of mass destruction programs."Letter to President Clinton. - (D) Senators Carl Levin, Tom Daschle, John Kerry, others, Oct. 9, 1998 Source

"Saddam Hussein has been engaged in the development of weapons of mass destruction technology which is a threat to countries in the region and he has made a mockery of the weapons inspection process." - Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D, CA), Dec. 16, 1998 Source
We know that he has stored secret supplies of biological and chemical weapons throughout his country." - Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002 Source

"Iraq's search for weapons of mass destruction has proven impossible to deter and we should assume that it will continue for as long as Saddam is in power." - Al Gore, Sept. 23, 2002 Source

"In the four years since the inspectors left, intelligence reports show that Saddam Hussein has worked to rebuild his chemical and biological weapons stock, his missile delivery capability, and his nuclear program. He has also given aid, comfort, and sanctuary to terrorists, including al Qaeda members ... It is clear, however, that if left unchecked, Saddam Hussein will continue to increase his capacity to wage biological and chemical warfare, and will keep trying to develop nuclear weapons." - Sen. Hillary Clinton (D, NY), Oct 10, 2002 Source

"We have known for many years that Saddam Hussein is seeking and developing weapons of mass destruction." - Sen. Ted Kennedy (D, MA), Sept. 27, 2002 Source

Yes -- They had access to the same intelligence I had. Many had come to the same conclusions long before I took office. Be that as it may though, I'd like to thank you and all your peers in the media for ensuring the American people forget about those statements and are never reminded of this horrible, debilitating memory again ... you traitorous ASSHOLE.
---------------------
Q Mr. President. Getting back to the domestic spying issue for a moment. According to FISA's own records, it's received nearly 19,000 requests for wiretaps or search warrants since 1979, rejected just five of them. It also operates in secret, so security shouldn't be a concern, and it can be applied retroactively. Given such a powerful tool of law enforcement is at your disposal, sir, why did you see fit to sidetrack that process?

A I love how you "objective jourrrnalists" use the term "domestic spying" to describe intercepting telephone calls from suspected terrorists overseas. Too funny. Maybe next you can re-label the war in Iraq as "Arabic Genocide." You likey? -- DIPSHIT.
----------------------
Q Thank you, Mr. President. Following up on Wendell's question about the intelligence failures ahead of Iraq, one of the side effects appears to have been that the United States has lost some credibility with its allies when it goes to them with new intelligence. You, for example, your administration, has been sharing with some of your allies the contents of a laptop computer that was found in Iran concerning their nuclear program. Yet you are still having --

THE PRESIDENT: Is that classified? (Laughter.) (Oh yeah -- that's hysterical -- as if leaking classified information ever stopped a fucking democrat, I mean "objective jourrrrrnalist" from trying to make the president look bad) No, never mind, Sanger.

Q Yet you are still having some difficulty convincing people that Iran has a nuclear program. Can you tell us whether or not you think one of the side effects of the intelligence failure has been that it has limited your ability to deal with future threats like Iran, like North Korea, or any other future threats concerning terrorists?

A Well -- The president of Iran said they had a nuclear program. He said there was nothing anyone could do to stop them from progressing in the program. IS THAT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU? ... YOU RETARDED CRETIN? YOU SHOULD BE WEARING A FUCKING HELMET.
-----------------------
Q Thank you, Mr. President. I wonder if you can tell us today, sir, what, if any, limits you believe there are or should be on the powers of a President during a war, at wartime? And if the global war on terror is going to last for decades, as has been forecast, does that mean that we're going to see, therefore, a more or less permanent expansion of the unchecked power of the executive in American society?

A Are you finished making your speech, Mr Lenin? I mean ... shouldn't you be teaching in a University somewhere ... with all that brainpower you have? UNCHECKED POWER --- HA HA HA HA HA HA ... Let me tell you, if I had unchecked power, you'd have to wipe your ass with concertina wire ... oh lord (*wipes tears from eyes*) ... unchecked power ... nice one, Einstein.
-----------------------
Q Thank you, sir. Looking ahead to this time next year, what are the top three or top five -- take your pick -- accomplishments that you hope to have achieved? And in particular, what is your best-case scenario for troop levels in Iraq at this time next year?

A Thanks for the opportunity to explain my objectives. I shall start with the last part of the question first ... My best-case scenario is all our troops will be home -- except the ones we hope to leave there in permanent bases like we have in Europe, Japan, Korea, and around the world.
As for the top 5 accomplishments for next year? Well ... these aren't the TOP 5 but here are 5 that jump to mind:
1 - The Implementation of the fair tax -- making America the most competitive economy on earth. Completely lifting the tax burden from the poor and making America the most desirable country on the planet for foreign business investment. American people would see their incomes skyrocket as businesses compete for their labor.
2 - Complete tort reform. This is where, when someone is sued ... and they defend themselves from the suit ... and prove their innocence ... the people who sued them must pay their attorney fees. It's not fair that someone can sue you for any reason whatsoever and you still have to pay your own attorney ... even if you are innocent. Most large companies in America just settle lawsuits (read ... make a payoff) if it's only going to cost them a fraction of the cost of the litigation ... and this is not free. If you think it is ... you're a god damned idiot. When someone is sued for millions of dollars because a retard dumped hot coffee in their own lap, the customers pay for it in increased costs forevermore.
3 - Speed up the implementation of the death penalty. I'd sponsor legislation that gave a condemned person rights to all the appeals he wanted ... as long as they were complete within 30 days -- if he's not found innocent by then, he dies ... end of story. And I'd like to add a florish ... executions should be public ... not done behind closed doors. So, when the day comes, I'd like to see the executioners run for his cell -- grab him -- run him out to the gallows -- up the stairs -- over to the rope -- rope around the neck and BOOM -- done.
4 - Am I boring you? I would like to have convinced the American people that political correctness is only for complete morons. Profiling should be encouraged, not discouraged. The very fact I have to say this shows that the smart America I knew has been lost ... years ago. I hope to start getting her back.
5 - The resurrection of the idea of freedom. It is my contention that a man isn't free unless he is free to do as he chooses. I believe the Constitution should be amended with a clause which states that neither the federal nor any state government shall make any activity that does not violate, through force or fraud, a person’s right to life, liberty or property, a crime. (hat tip to Boortz) You know what that means? That means you can't tell me I can't buy beer on Sunday. That means you can't tell me not to hire a hooker. That means you can't tell me SHIT ... unless I am depriving someone of their life, liberty, or property. GOT ME? ASSHOLES?

I could go on and on -- but I'll stop with these 5 for now -- thanks again, for the question.
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Q One of the things we've seen this year is the reduction in your approval rating. And I know how you feel about polls, but it appears to be taking something out of your political clout, as evidenced by the Patriot Act vote. What do you attribute your lower polls to, and are you worried that independents are losing confidence in your leadership?

A My political clout? Well -- I can't run for president again so ... what do I care about my "political clout." I attribute my lower polls to the fact that the media lies and cheats and steals all day every day as it concerns the American people. The media is interested in a Democrat controlled government -- plain and simple -- and they will anything, ... ANYTHING ... including leaking classified material, to make it happen. Other things they do are:
a) rig polls and then give the results out as "news."
b) rewrite history and "report" on it as news
c) mislead the public and only give one side of a story
Again -- I could go on and on -- but that's why I have "lower poll numbers." Of course, my approval numbers are higher than congress' approval numbers ... but no need to tell the American people that -- right -- RIGHT? ... Mr. objective JACKASS.


OK -- there's your news conference -- so all you commies go pack sand up your asses -- ok?