Monday, April 30, 2007

Jail for non-violent rich peeps

From the J-Walk blog:

If you get thrown into the slammer in California, you might be able to buy your way into luxury accommodations: For $82 a Day, Booking a Cell in a 5-Star Jail.

Anyone convicted of a crime knows a debt to society often must be paid in jail. But a slice of Californians willing to supplement that debt with cash (no personal checks, please) are finding that the time can be almost bearable.

For offenders whose crimes are usually relatively minor (carjackers should not bother) and whose bank accounts remain lofty, a dozen or so city jails across the state offer pay-to-stay upgrades. Theirs are a clean, quiet, if not exactly recherche alternative to the standard county jails, where the walls are bars, the fellow inmates are hardened and privileges are few.

For roughly $75 to $127 a day, these convicts - who are known in the self-pay parlance as "clients" - get a small cell behind a regular door, distance of some amplitude from violent offenders and, in some cases, the right to bring an iPod or computer on which to compose a novel, or perhaps a song.


Read more here -- includes a pic of someone in their "recherche" cell.

Drive like hell, you'll get there

From Fox News:

I guess he was in a big hurry so he was going 90mph. Also in too big a hurry to fasten his seat belt. I could be wrong but I'm thinking if you or I got in a wreck without wearing our seatbelt, we'd get a ticket. But stop worrying about that, pinheads -- you ain't shit.

CAMDEN, N.J. — Gov. Jon S. Corzine was expected to leave the hospital on Monday, 2 1/2 weeks after being seriously injured in a car crash.

It was uncertain when he would be able to return to work. State Senate President Richard J. Codey is the acting governor.

Corzine fractured his left thigh and broke 11 ribs, his breastbone and other bones in a crash on April 12. He was operated on three times and a metal rod was inserted to stabilize his leg.

Doctors said Corzine will likely not be able to walk without crutches or a cane for at least six months.

The 60-year-old governor's SUV was being driven by a state trooper at 91 mph when it was clipped by a truck and lost control on the Garden State Parkway, slamming into a guard rail. Corzine wasn't wearing his seat belt, though it was required by state law.

Gunman keeps getting killed -- somehow

From Fox News:

This guy keeps going on killing sprees and then kills himself. You might have heard of him .. his name is "Gunman."

Gunman Goes on Shooting Rampage at Kansas City Mall

KANSAS CITY, Mo. — A man driving a dead woman's car shot a police officer, then opened fire in a parking lot and a mall Sunday, authorities said. By the end of the day, four people, including the gunman, were dead.

The chaos ended when police shot the gunman to death outside a Target store inside Ward Parkway Center in south Kansas City, police spokesman Tony Sanders said.

Read more here:

We don't care about your stinking laws

From Drudge:

You know ... I never used to give a shit if you were Mexican or Muslim ... but now they're starting to get my attention ... and not in a good way.

Immigration rallies to snarl Los Angeles

Apr 29 11:53 AM US/Eastern

LOS ANGELES, April 29 (UPI) -- Los Angeles is bracing for massive traffic jams Tuesday when May 1 rallies are to be held for immigration reform and labor rights.

The two rallies in the central part of the city are eagerly anticipated by immigration-rights advocates and dreaded by emergency officials and some business owners, the Los Angeles Times reported Sunday.

The protests are expected to snarl traffic, disrupt more than 60 bus lines and stop some business, including the murder trial of music impresario Phil Spector.

"It's a mess," said Don Baumgartner, of the Los Angeles County Metropolitan Transportation Authority.

Thousands of protesters are expected, though organizers predict a smaller turnout than protests held last year which drew more than 650,000 people. Much of the anger that motivated last year's marchers was eased after Congress failed to pass legislation to criminalize illegal immigrants and toughen border enforcement, the Times reported.

Immigration reform marches are planned in several other major U.S. cities, including Chicago.

The klown hears a clock ticking

Found it on Drudge:

Another doomed Birkie.

Another Inconvenient Truth ?

Found it at the Drudge Report:

From The Sunday TimesApril 29, 2007

Climate change hits Mars
Mars is being hit by rapid climate change and it is happening so fast that the red planet could lose its southern ice cap, writes Jonathan Leake.

Scientists from Nasa say that Mars has warmed by about 0.5C since the 1970s. This is similar to the warming experienced on Earth over approximately the same period.

Since there is no known life on Mars it suggests rapid changes in planetary climates could be natural phenomena.

You can read more here if you have time on your hands:

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Which way is up??



The Klown figured this out - you try

From Bits and Pieces:

Calling in sick

From Bits & Pieces:

A guy works a new job on Thursday and Friday. On Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick." He works the rest of the week, but the following Monday he calls in and says, "I can't come in today. I'm sick."

The boss asks the foreman about him, and the foreman says, "He's great. He does the work of two men. We need him." So the boss calls the guy into his office, and says, "You seem to have a problem getting to work on Mondays. You're a good worker and I'd hate to fire you. What's the problem? Anything we can help you with? Drugs? Alcohol?"

The guy says, "No, I don't drink or do drugs. But my father-in-law drinks every weekend, and then beats on my mother-in-law. So every Monday morning, I go over to make sure that she's alright. She puts her head on my shoulder and cries, one thing leads to another, and the next thing you know, I'm boinking her."

The boss says, "You boink your mother-in-law?"

The guy says, "Hey, I told you I was sick."

I have some rubber duckies - KaBOOM!

APRIL 22--In addition to purchasing ammunition clips on eBay, Virginia Tech gunman Cho Seung-Hui last year bought an assortment of rubber duckies via the online auction giant. That's right, the mass murderer paid a total of $21.50 in two February 2006 auctions that netted him three dozen small squeaking toy ducks and one giant rubber duck. Cho, using his eBay handle "blazers5505," purchased the items on successive days from an Illinois dealer who appears to specialize in the yellow bathtub items. On the following pages are screen captures of the eBay duck auctions won by Cho. Both pages remain archived on the auction site, though most of the killer's eBay activity--which apparently began in 2004--has, over time, been deleted from the site. It is unclear, of course, why the sullen lunatic needed the novelty items. (2 pages)

More on Hinrich, OU bomber

Hinrich was not middle eastern... he wasn't... stop jumping to conclusions... he wasn't middle eastern... and even if he were, there are other terrorists who weren't middle eastern anyway [although name ANY terrorist who wasn't middle eastern and wasn't timothy mcveigh or the unibomber]... so even if he were middle eastern, it doesn't mean he was a terrorist...

It seems like the OU president isn't interested in the safety of the student body and is only interested in assuring them that there's no terrorist threat on campus. You know- what you can't see won't hurt you. I agree with the idea of not inciting panic without justification, but while trying to do this, Mr. Boren does just the opposite. "The lady doth protest too much, methinks " comes to mind. Maybe college students haven't learned this yet, but when someone overexplains anything it's because they're LYING.

A woman of a certain age once told me this story. "If my husband came home late, I'd ask him why. If he said, 'flat tire' and dropped it, so would I. If he went into a long, elaborate explanation, I'd check for lipstick on his collar.

If I were a student at OU, I'd be looking for lipstick right... now.

CLICK HERE to read the letter to the students.

more from Suburban Emergency Management Project (SEMP)

On October 1, 2005, Joel Henry Hinrichs III, a 21-year-old University of Oklahoma engineering student formerly of Colorado Springs, Colorado, and, before that, Lisle, Illinois (http://find/, blew himself up using explosives (triacetone triperoxide, a derivative of household products) strapped to his body at about 7:30 p.m. or 8:00 p.m. Central Daylight Time. The site of his demise (only the lower half of his body was allegedly remaining) was approximately 500 feet away from Oklahoma Memorial Stadium where about 84,000 people were watching a football game between the University of Oklahoma Sooners and the Kansas State Wildcats. The incident occurred shortly before halftime.
On September 29, 2005, Hinrichs attempted to purchase ammonium nitrate, which was used in the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building bombing, at Ellison Feed & Seed store in Norman. An off-duty police officer in the store overheard the conversation between the store’s owner and Hinrichs, followed him outside, and ran Hinrichs’ license plate. The officer started an investigation, which was still in progress when the bomb went off.

Hinrichs roomed with a Pakistani Muslim student named Fazal M. Cheema who took a polygraph test and was released by law enforcement. Also detained was Hossam Barakat, an instructor from Egypt, who lived in the same university complex as Hinrichs, according to a report from KOCO Oklahoma City on October 13, 2005 ( In the article, Barakat said “that hours after the bomb blast he went to another apartment in the complex to say goodbye to an Algerian friend who was scheduled to fly out of the United States the next day. Later, Cheema dropped in unexpectedly, staying only a few minutes. When Cheema left, the commotion [law enforcement entered apartment] began.”

The incident remains under investigation by the FBI and the Joint Terrorism Task Force, the University of Oklahoma Police Department, the Bureau of Alcohol Tobacco and Firearms, and the Cleveland County Sheriff’s Office. Salvador Hernandez is the Special Agent in Charge of the FBI in Oklahoma City. John C. Richter is the United States Attorney, Western District of Oklahoma. Elizabeth Woolen is Chief, University of Oklahoma Police Department.

The two statements (two date) about the bombing that FBI Special Agent Salvador Hernandez has released are available at:
October 2, 2005:
October 4, 2005:

The four statements (to date) about the bombing made by University of Oklahoma President David Boren are available at:

October 2, 2005:
October 2, 2005:
October 6, 2005:

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Cal's posters

Found it on Grouchy Old Cripple:

Economics theory beyond lib's comprehension

From the Grouchy Old Cripple:

Economic Twit
I'm just not in the mood to do an AOTW this week. Instead, I'll publish a letter from a booger eatin' moh-ron that appeared in today's Atlanta Urinal and Constipation.

Gas and oil prices need regulation
When gasoline prices can jump 12 cents overnight at a discount gas station, there is a problem. No change in the wars in the Middle East happened overnight, there was no hurricane in the Gulf, and there was no major blizzard up North. Gas and oil need to be treated like the utilities they are, not as speculative commodities. Too many people can be hurt too much to have everything hanging on the whims of Wall Street speculators.


Sylvia you ignorant slut! Gas and oil are commodities. They are not utilities. I guess you've never heard of the Law of Supply and Demand have you?

Right now refineries are in the process of changing from heating oil production to more gasoline production. Sorry. We don't really have enough refineries to do this seamlessly. Thank the Gaia worshippers for the fact that we haven't built a new refinery in over 30 years.

And while you're thanking the Gaia worshippers for that, thank them for the multiple blends of gasoline that we have to produce to save the fucking environment. If we could decide on a single blend for the whole country we could surely knock a few cents off the price of gas, but noooooooo. That would make too much sense.

The weather is getting warmer. Didja notice that? More people want to drive. You may have not noticed in your liberal induced daze that gas prices rise every year at this time. Someone as stupid as you probably marvels every autumn when the leaves change as if this is a new phenomenon. "Oh look at the pretty leaves. I've never seen this before!"

It happens every year!

From your writing style you appear to be about fifteen years old so you probably don't remember the last time we tried to regulate the price of gas. This was during the administration of the worst president of the 20th Century. We now know him as the addled old anti-Semitic, anti-American asshole Jimmah Carter. As with most of the polices of the Carter administration, it was a disaster. Gas shortages and gas lines. When gas is artificially cheap, demand exceeds supply and shortages occur. I'm sorry Sylvia, but that's the way the world works. You can't repeal the Law of Supply and Demand even though liberals, socialists, and communists have been trying to do it forever with absolutely no success.

D'ya know what finally happened? Reagan deregulated gas, (Ted Kennedy was totally against it. Some things never change.) people didn't like paying the high prices, they bought more fuel efficient cars, demand dropped, and amazingly enough, so did prices. Poof! PFM. Well, only to a liberal. To a conservative who actually understands some rudimentary economics it all makes perfect sense.

But, to an economic twit like you it will always be a plot by those eeeevvvvil "Wall Street speculators".

I can't make you the AOTW but I guess I can make you the Twit of the Week.

Hey, Baldwin, Bush isn't taking my calls

A statement about Islam

LMAO - "I don't want to be murdered by shitforbrains"

Swiped it from Disgruntled Truck Driver, who swiped it from Grouchy Old Cripple.

Told you - Libs HATE Carl Rove

Sheryl Crow's toilet paper dispenser

Gravity -- waiting for you to fuck up

Luke -- come over to the baggy side

Friday, April 27, 2007

President Bush loses debate

As you may or may not know, the "Democrat" candidates for Presidink had their first "debate" last night on one of the "network" stations. I didna watch it due to the fact it would probably overwhelm my gag reflex.

However, I was watching one of the morning shows today (Fri) and Tim Russert was a guest. One of the anchor ladies asks him "who won or lost the debate?"

His answer? (I shorten it here for brevity's sake) - "President Bush lost."

So, much to the chagrin of my honey, I begin talking to the television (one of her pet peeves.)

Quothe I, "Hey Russert, you jackass, - President Bush wasn't in the debate. According to your 'totally objective' view, the President also lost the Nascar Race last Sunday ... right? You dumbass, President Bush can't even be reelected -- you can stop slamming him now. Hey ... Timmy ... a dead horse called ... he said 'stop beating me'"

Here he is ... try to refrain from vomiting when you see him ... he's the host of "Meet the Press." I guess that means he's a member of the press ... and, as such, he's an objective jourrrrrnalist.

Dumbshitocrat = Ticking bomb

See this guy? -- He's a total whack job. The cops arrested him and the court let him back out. How long will it be until he kills someone? - Tick Tick Tick Tick Tick -- BOOM.

The guy’s name is Matthew Hunter Kramer. He was driving a Mercedes with California plates.

The basic story is this:

He came in very well dressed, khakis, navy blazer, and told our Office Manager he wanted to talk to someone about joining the Republican Party.

When I came downstairs I shook his hand, and he appeared pretty nervous. 30 seconds into the conversation I could tell this was not a Republican and someone who just wanted to berate us. Now, we get these types of people all the time, and it is nothing new. Protocol is to ask them to leave the office. He told me he was in the oil industry and that the War in Iraq was all about oil and nothing else. He mentioned he had two brothers overseas and that we were all idiots. At this point he was loud and demeaning, so my staff had left the room as they didn’t know how to handle this.

Finally, he asked what type of car I drive. I told him I drive a Ford Explorer. At this point he says, well, I want to show you my car, it doesn’t use any foreign oil sources. All I wanted to do was get him out of the office, so I said sure. We then walked out to his Mercedes, where he showed me it was a diesel. At this point, he says, I have something I want to give you. He opens the trunk and pulls out a book Theodore Roosevelt, Letters and Speeches. He hands it to me and says, “Here, I want you to read about a real Republican.”

At this point I looked into the trunk and notice he had several hunting rifles. He noticed me looking at them and grabbed one, saying, You are a Republican, you guys are gun owners, right? I said yes. He then drops the rifle to his side, holding his hand just above the stock. Now, keep in mind that as a gun owner and a Marine, I am can tell if he can get a shot off or not. He then pushes the rifle towards my nose (about 2 inches away) and says well, I’m a gun owner too and I think it’s about time we took back this country. At this point I can see the barrel of the rifle but I also know his hand is not on the trigger. He looks at me and says, “Don’t You know that America hates you? If your President vetoes this bill, I will be back. Do you understand me?”

At this point I simply said, yes sir, I do. Then the funny part happens.

He says I’m going to leave you my cell phone number so you can call me when this bill goes through. He puts the rifle back in the trunk and heads back into the office. He walks into the lobby and grabs a sheet of paper, writes down his cell phone number, and hands it to me. At this point I am behind the counter and he is out front in our lobby. He than runs over to the wall where our pictures are hanging and without asking, grabs the pictures of Bush and Cheney off the wall, says “I love these guys” (sarcastically) and proceeds towards the door. As he is about to open the door, he looks back and asks, “Do you want me to pay for these?” I said “No thanks sir, they’re on us.” He then got in his car and drove away.

Now, a couple of quick points.

1. I don’t think he intended to use the rifle. He just wanted to make a threat. The charge they have him on essentially is threatening someone for political purposes, and that is exactly what he did. So the charge fits.

2. This guy is clearly not all there. The whole time he was talking he was shaking and appeared off. He uttered a bunch of conspiracy theories and was ranting about oil and natural fuel sources. My staff also felt that he was mentally unstable. He later told police that he “traded” me the Roosevelt book for the pictures of Bush and Cheney, which is obviously not the case.

3. While I was outside and had the rifle pointed at me, another employee walked by. She didn’t know he was threatening me, (it is not uncommon for a fellow Republican to show another Republican his rifle) but she did see him with the rifle. He told police and he told the reporters on last night’s news that he never removed the rifle from his trunk. So she is a witness to that and can verify it. He also told police that he only had one rifle in the trunk and that it was an antique Black Powder rifle. In fact, he had 4 or 5 it was not a black powder rifle.

4. Back to him being crazy, I was not sure about reporting this at first. Yet after talking with Metro, ATF, Homeland, Capital Police, and Secret Service, they have all confirmed that this guy is nuts (no professional opinions yet, just their impressions). So I am very glad we did what we did and called this in. The man is mentally unstable and clearly is not all there. You wouldn’t know it from looking at him, but as soon as he opens his mouth it is obvious. In light of recent events, you wouldn’t want to find out this guy did something stupid and know you never reported him for something like this.

5. They released this guy today. I asked the officer about this and he explained he wish they wouldn’t have. He asked us to beef up our security measures just in case. Kramer is being charged on three counts, and when I asked the officer, he explained there is no way that at least two of the three don’t stick.

Hope that helps. Again, this guy is clearly not all there, and everyone I have talked to, including the reporters who interviewed him, have said the same. For this reason alone, we sincerely hope that this goes to trial soon and he gets put away.

Read more at the Gateway Pundit if you want:

Oklahoma University Morons

The klown thinks this is embarrassingly stupid.

Oklahoma U. bomber honored
By Michelle Malkin · April 26, 2007 12:17 PM
Via KOCO: Say what?!

The University of Oklahoma has put up a memorial to a student who died when a homemade bomb exploded near the OU football stadium.
A stone with the name of Joel Hinrichs III was placed outside the OU student union by the student affairs division.

Hinrichs died Oct. 1, 2005, when the bomb he built detonated as he sat on a campus bench near Memorial Stadium while a football game was under way. University officials ruled the death an accidental suicide. Hinrichs' father -- Joel Hinrichs Jr. -- said the university offered to have the stone placed.
Here's more info:
Klown says "Surprise, he's a terrorist." -- And Oklahoma University is honoring him.

Oct 06, 2005
Islamic Terrorism in Oklahoma Likely
Please scroll through main page for more recent entries.

CRITICAL UPDATE 10/07: See Indictment forthcoming in Oklahoma bombing case or scroll to end of post for update.

As more details become public about suicide bomber Joel Henry Hinrichs III, who blew himself up outside of a University of Oklahoma football game last Saturday, more and more evidence suggests that he may actually have been part of a larger plot.

Earlier reports indicated that Hinrichs had Islamic jihad material in his apartment that referenced bomb-making manuals. We downplayed that fact as not really evidence of a wider plot. After all, if you want to blow yourself up why not consult with the experts--Islamic terrorists?

But other facts have come to light which raise suspicions.

For an excellent map outlining the scene of the crime and Hinrichs' proximity to these places, please see this post at Zombietime. Other good roundups of the facts can be found at Gateway Pundit, The Politburo Diktat Michelle Malkin, and many many others.

1) Hinrichs seems to have converted to Islam and attended a nearby Islamic center. (see map at Zombietime) However, the president of the University of Oklahoma Muslim Studeant Association denies that Hinrichs was a Muslim. Other witnesses, though, claim Hinrichs was a frequent visitor to the mosque.

2) It appears that the Islamic center is affiliated with the Islamic Society of North America (ISNA), a group with ties to the Muslim Brotherhood and which has been investigated for funding terrorism by Congress.

3) The ISNA linked mosque may have been the same one attended by Zacharias MOUSSAOUI. Much more on the Zacharias MOUSSAOUI link at Cao's blog.

4) Hinrichs' roomate, Fazal M. Cheema, was a Pakistani national and neighbors claim the apartment was a center of activity for Middle Easterners. He is described as a 'really nice guy' by his friends. Unfortunately, all terrorists are described this way by their friends. NEIN now reports that Cheema and his associates may have been on the FBI's terror watch list.

5) Hinrichs attempted to buy a large amount of ammonium nitrate, a key ingredient in large explosives such as the first World Trade Center bombings or the Oklahoma City Murrah Federal Building bombing.

6) Hinrichs was later known to the FBI because of his attempted purchase.

7) Evidence at the scene of the bombing suggests that shrapenel was part of the bomb. This is a strong indication that Hinrichs planned to kill more than himself.

8) Witnesses now report Hinrich may have attempted to enter the OU football game, but that he fled when security attempted to check his backpack

9) Northeast Intelligence Network, who's earlier reports we had dismissed because of that website's long track record of alarmism but who are increasingly looking like they got this one right, claims a source is telling them:

"Girls Gone Wild" founder goes to jail, with any luck will be treated like a girl by cons gone wild

How about you go ahead and wipe that smirk off your face right about now? This guy brought "show your tits" to an entirely new level when he started video taping naive, drunk young women exposing their breasts. They got a t-shirt, he earns $29 mil/year... seems fair, right? "Nay" say the populus.

What he's doing is legal (mostly), but make no mistake- enough people think it's immoral that they're doing everything under the sun to make his life as unlivable as possible.

These from googling "joe francis" in the news section.... it's as if "that's what you get [motherfucker]"...

Access Hollywood
Joe Francis Faces Sexual Battery Charges in a new case
Showbiz Spy, UK - 13 hours ago
‘Girls Gone Wild’ creator Joe Francis has been charged with sexual battery, just two days after he was sentenced to 35 days in jail for contempt of court. ...
Joe Francis’ Famous Friends Won’t Bail Him Out, Will He Write A ... Glosslip
all 298 news articles »

Bodog Beat
Joe Francis Gets More Sex Charges: Girls Gone To Court
Bodog Beat, Antigua and Barbuda - 11 hours ago
Joe Francis just can’t seem to catch a break. He’s already serving a 35-day jail sentence for contempt-of-court following a federal indictment on multiple ...

Monsters and
Joe Francis gets thirty days in the hole
Monsters and, UK - Apr 24, 2007
You can almost hear the Humble Pie classic "Thirty Days In The Hole" blaring in your mind, picturing the entrepreneurial Joe Francis, who has made a nice ...
Francis order, FL - Apr 25, 2007
Circuit Court Judge Dedee Costello signed an order Tuesday to keep “Girls Gone Wild” founder Joe Francis in Bay County, but there is a chance he might be ...
'Girls Gone Wild' Joe Francis Sent To Jail For Contempt Of Court
Post Chronicle - Apr 24, 2007
Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis has been sentenced to 35 days in jail after pleading guilty to contempt of court yesterday (23Apr07). ...
Joe Francis Pleads Guilty, Faces More Penal Pain, CA - Apr 24, 2007
"Girls Gone Wild" founder Joe Francis just pleaded guilty to one count of criminal contempt, and is still facing more than three weeks of hard time in the ...

Girls Gone Wild Creator Sentenced To Further Prison Time Joe ...
Entertainmentwise, UK - Apr 24, 2007
Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis pleaded guilty to one count of criminal contempt of court and was sentenced to 35 days in jail (minus the 13 he’s ...

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Hoping that Alton Brown is one of us

Rachael Ray had Bill Clinton on her gabfest this morning - a big to-do about childhood obesity and what we can do about it (don't EVEN get me started). Two observations: Clinton looks more and more like Jimmy Carter everyday, and Rachael Ray - as cute as she is - need a dose of the Klown.

You hops might be able to use this

Found it at Bits and Pieces:

Remove Car Dent With Airduster - video powered by Metacafe

What steroids? - Don't be ridiculous!!

This guy asks the question ... "who 'roided it up better -- Bonds or McGuire?"

More pics and the contest at The armchair GM.

Art Garfunkel? - Cindy Sheehan? - OH - NM.

Music producer Phil Spector, center, is led to Los Angeles Criminal Court for opening statements in his trial in Los Angeles, Wednesday. Accompanying Spector are his wife, Rachelle Spector, left, and his bodyguards.

“Phil Spector recited the mantra of the rich and famous: ‘Do you know who I am? I’m Phil Spector,”’ Jackson said. But it was not until a supervisor told Clarkson to “treat him like gold” that she knew he was a celebrity, he said. When the bar closed, Spector had to persuade her to come home with him for one drink, he said.

A chauffeur who drove the pair to Spector’s mansion has told of hearing a gunshot and seeing Spector emerge from the house holding a gun and declaring, “I think I killed somebody.” Spector later said he believed the shooting was an “accidental suicide” by Clarkson.

Read the rest here:

Scumball Judge / Lawyer (Redundant?)

From the Washington Post:

I hope another judge or lawyer rips him a new asshole.

Lawyer's Price For Missing Pants: $65 Million

By Marc Fisher
Thursday, April 26, 2007; Page B01

When the neighborhood dry cleaner misplaced Roy Pearson's pants, he took action. He complained. He demanded compensation. And then he sued. Man, did he sue.

Two years, thousands of pages of legal documents and many hundreds of hours of investigative work later, Pearson is seeking to make Custom Cleaners pay -- would you believe more than the payroll of the entire Washington Nationals roster?

He says he deserves millions for the damages he suffered by not getting his pants back, for his litigation costs, for "mental suffering, inconvenience and discomfort," for the value of the time he has spent on the lawsuit, for leasing a car every weekend for 10 years and for a replacement suit, according to court papers.

Pearson is demanding $65,462,500. The original alteration work on the pants cost $10.50.

By the way, Pearson is a lawyer. Okay, you probably figured that. But get this: He's a judge, too -- an administrative law judge for the District of Columbia.

I'm telling you, they need to start selling tickets down at the courthouse.

Oh, where to start: How about the car? Why should Ki, Jin and Soo Chung -- the family that owns Custom Cleaners on Bladensburg Road NE in the District's Fort Lincoln section -- pay Pearson $15,000 so he can rent a car every weekend for 10 years?

The plaintiff, who says he has devoted more than 1,000 hours to represent himself in this battle, says that as a result of poor service at Custom, he must find another cleaner. And because Pearson does not own a car, he says he will have to rent one to get his clothes taken care of.

Read the rest here - he's in a little trouble with a judge.

Need to be purified ??

From the J-Walk Blog:

Purifying The Students

In India: Teachers "purify" students with cow urine.
Indian teachers sprinkled cow urine on low-caste students to purify them and drive away evil, reports said on Saturday, in a country where millions of people remain oppressed at the bottom of the ancient Hindu caste system.
Upper-caste headteacher Sharad Kaithade ordered the ritual after taking over from a lower-caste predecessor at a school in a remote village in the western state of Maharashtra earlier this month, the Times of India reported.

He told an upper-caste colleague to spray cow urine in a cleansing ceremony as the students were taking an examination, wetting their faces and their answer sheets, the newspaper said.
"She said you'll study well after getting purified," student Rajat Washnik was quoted as saying by the CNN-IBN news channel. Students said they felt humiliated.

The teachers were arrested.

Ham involved in a bunch of baloney

Credit to associated content:

Although docile in nature, the ham sandwich is the natural predator of the Muslim middle-school student, often disguising itself as a lunch item until it can get close enough to the Muslim to consume its soul.

All students should feel welcome in schools, knowing that they are safe from attacks with ham, bacon, porkchops, or any other delicious meat that comes from pigs."

The klown says "where is Mike Nifong when you need him --- that asshole would be able to indict this ham sandwich and put an end to the atrocity."
One student has been suspended and more disciplinary action could follow a possible hate crime at Lewiston Middle School, Superintendent Leon Levesque said Wednesday.

On April 11, a white student placed a ham steak in a bag on a lunch table where Somali students were eating. Muslims consider pork unclean and offensive.

The act reminded students of a man who threw a pig's head into a Lewiston mosque last summer.

The school incident is being treated seriously as "a hate incident," Levesque said. Lewiston police are investigating, and the Center for the Prevention of Hate Violence is working with the school to create a response plan. "We've got some work to do to turn this around and bring the school community back together again," Levesque said.

Placing ham where Muslim students were eating was "an awful thing," said Stephen Wessler, executive director of the Center for Prevention of Hate Violence. "It's extraordinarily hurtful and degrading" to Muslims, whose religion prohibits them from being around ham. It's important to respond swiftly, Wessler said.

"Incidents like this that involve degrading language or conduct are often said by the perpetrator as a joke. I know that conduct is never static," he said. "It's part of a process of escalation."
If people think insulting Muslims with ham is OK, "More degrading acts will follow, until at some point we'll end up having violence," Wessler said.

The incident does not reflect the moral values of the school staff and students, Levesque said. "We need to take a look at this and review how a careless act is degrading and causes hurt to other people. All our students should feel welcome and safe in our schools." He said a letter would be sent home to parents explaining what happened and outlining the school's response. Wessler will meet with students to address the school's climate, and staff will talk about how to respond to and prevent future hate incidents
'I didn't feel safe'
A 14-year-old Somali boy, whose mother asked that his name not be published, said he was eating lunch with four other Somali students on April 11. He noticed many others in the cafeteria "standing up, looking at us." One boy came near, began laughing and threw a bag on the table while other students laughed and said, 'Good job.'"

"We didn't know what was in this bag," the boy said. "One of my friends reached inside it. It was a big ham steak. There were five of us at the table, all Somali. It was intended for us."

The boy said he looked up at students he thought were his friends. "I felt angered, offended."
He suddenly felt like he was alone. "At the school the next day, I didn't feel safe. I felt like everybody was against me. Before I felt like I fit in, and everything was normal." He began to think white students didn't like him, and the act was their way of letting him know.

On Thursday, several students came up to him and said, "Those guys who did it were jerks. I apologize for them, and I hope you feel better." The boy said they did make him feel better. "But for the rest of my life when I remember middle school, this will pop up right away."

He spoke out because he wants the community to know what happened, "that there is something like this going on in our schools."

Wessler and Levesque said the act happened the day before April vacation began, which prevented educators from gathering information.
"This is not done," Wessler said.

Donald Trump on Rosie leaving "The View"

"Things will go on. Life will go on. Rosie will probably get a new show of some kind. It'll go on. It'll start out strong and then it'll fail. And that's the way it is cause Rosie will always fail ultimately." (h/t NBC's Today Show)

I agree 100% except for the "It'll start out strong" part.

I guess the reason I really can't stand Rosie goes back to several years ago. She wanted to do a Broadway musical (which, of course, failed) with Boy George. He called her "too suburban" to be able to make it a success. To prove him wrong, she went out and got a so-called radical haircut.
This was back in 2002... about 5 years AFTER 97% of all suburban woman stopped getting asymetrical haircuts. Not only is she too suburban, she's also a late starter.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Fantasy pic of brain-damaged dumbass

Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Cursed women delay arrival of messiah

Found this at The Gateway Pundit:
These pesky Iranian women don't want to wear their burkas --- and they are delaying the arrival of the messiah. So ... the cops are coming for their raggedy asses.
President of Iran, Ahmadinejad, is paving the way for the arrival of the Messiah, but some are throwing a wrench in the cogwheel by raising soccer for women.

Two days after the harsh words of general Ahmadi Moghadam, the commander of the law enforcement forces about combating women who are not fully observing the Islamic hijab, ....... the police launched a campaign to confront young women ...... These attacks on women come after the law enforcement forces have demonstrated repeated failures in bringing security in Western towns of the country, controlling contraband, and the import and export of illegal goods.

Ayatollah Makarem and a few other clerics spoke favorably and in support of Moghadam’s new round of assaults. The same message was sent by Keyhan and Jomhurie Eslami editorials. Makarem said that the law enforcement forces had undertaken some measures, while some individuals were turning it into a scandal and questioning the actions. Hijab is a required element of Islam, he said, adding that not fully observing it led to the destruction of the family, and rise in divorce and crime rates.

The prayer leader of Mashhad, for example, said that there were activities inside the government which rather than paving the way for the arrival of the Messiah, threw wrenches in the cogwheel. He specifically said that sending a women’s volleyball team outside the country to jump around in front of corrupt men was a wrong move.
LMAO -- The messiah isn't coming until they stop this sillyness with letting women play volleyball outside the country. Seriously, WTF IS WRONG WITH THESE PSYCHOPATHS??
And then there's this guy:

The Supreme Guide’s proxy in western Azarbaijan, the exceedingly vicious and hot-headed Mullah Hassani in his Friday prayer in the city of Rezaiyeh said this against women. He divided women into 3 groups:

The first group... he said are the women who are badly veiled who are like buses who everyone and anyone can ride.

The second group... are women who are wearing scarves without the Islamic overcoats; they are like taxis who only pick up certain passengers.

And finally, in the third group... there are women like my wife who are like donkeys who let only one person ride them!So the point is... It just depends on how big of a hurry you're in. Right? Hat Tip Banafsheh Zand-Bonazzi.

The klown wants to live and therefore never compares his wife to a jackass while speaking in front of others.

"One-square" Sheryl Crow - Global dipstick

Here's a portion of the contract she uses for her events. Notice the parking required for her globe-friendly caravan.

Here's the rest if you care:

PBS (Public Broadcasting) - lefties only


ALEXANDRIA, VA – Media Research Center President L. Brent Bozell commented today on PBS’ decision to broadcast Bill Moyers’ “Buying the War” documentary while refusing to air Frank Gaffney’s “Islam vs. Islamists: Voices from the Muslim Center:”

“All PBS has become is welfare for activist has-beens,” said L. Brent Bozell, president of the Media Research Center.

“Their editorial rationale is self-incriminating. They subject viewers to the fanatical work of liberals like Bill Moyers, using viewers’ tax money and airwaves to peddle Moyers’ notion that the liberal media coverage of the Iraq war wasn’t liberal enough. But, at the same time, they claim that Frank Gaffney’s very balanced and measured documentary on centrist Muslims does not meet the standards necessary for airing on their stations.

“Why? Because they can – and that makes the words ‘public television’ an oxymoron.”

“What PBS and Moyers should own up to is not having the backbone to allow a balanced, viable, perspective to stand on its own two feet because it clashes with their fringe ideology,” Bozell concluded.
The klown bolded and italicized portions of this article.

I put my pants on one leg at a time

One of the klown's favorite skits of all time:

Iran - State sponsor of terrorism ?

From Ace of Spades:

Big: Hezb'allah Admits It Takes Marching Orders Directly From Iran
Shockingly, the MSM isn't interested.

Hizbullah Deputy Secretary-General Naim Kassem, told the interviewer that suicide bombings, terrorist attacks and even artillery barrages against Israeli civilians all receive prior approval from the Ayatollah’s in Teheran:

"The religious doctrine which dictates Hizbullah’s actions in general and those relating to the Jihad in particular, is based on the rulings of the spiritual leader in Teheran. The spiritual leader has the power to permit our actions, and the spiritual leader can forbid them.

"In order to know what is permitted and forbidden regarding the Jihad, we ask for and receive overall permission and only then do we carry out the operation.

“Even with regard to the suicide bombings, no one is allowed to kill himself without religious authorization.

“Even the rocket attacks on Israel, against the civilian population [Aug 2006] … in order to apply pressure, even this required overall religious authorization."

What kind of European are you ?

Disgruntled Truck Driver says - Part 2

Things that tick me off:

1. Al Gore contributing to "Global Warming" by still converting my valuable oxygen to "Bad" carbon dioxide by breathing.
2. Hilliary Clinton, for not realizing that people HATE her guts!
3. Barrak Hussein Obama, for not realizing that there are in fact people who are not racist that think he is a moron.
4. Harry Reid, for never meeting a white flag he did not want to wave.
5. Nancy Pelosi for not realizing that she does not get to decide Foreign Policy for the United States.
6. The Democrats in general for actually having the audacity to think they know "What the American people want".
7. The American people, for not knowing from minute to minute what they want.
8. David Letterman, Hanoi Jane, Rosie O' Donnell, The Dixie Chicks, Sean Penn and the rest of Hollywood for even thinking we give a crap what their opinions are.
9. People who want to tell me how to raise my kids, when their kids are members of "The Future Prison B_tches of America".
10. People who lie, know they lie and say it over and over again.

Disgruntled Truck Driver says - Part 1

Things I do not care about....nor will I....

1. John Edward's $400.00 haircut.
2. "Global Warming" or any other environmental catastrophe the Environmentalists create.
3. People starving in other countries. Their Governments created the famines and unless they do something about it, they will continue to starve.
4. How many "Squares" of toilet paper Cheryl Crow uses in a sitting.
5. The Spotted Owl, the field mouse or any other species "On the brink of extinction".
6. The "Rights" of illegal immigrants.
7. The "Rights" of child molesters.
8. Who wins American Idol.
9. What the opinion of the United Nations is on ANY subject.
10. What the "Self Esteem" of a person is, if they cannot read and write.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Erm .. I wasn't gonna do anything

Want to see the hottest 16-year-old chicks? You have to click on the pic.

I hope this guy is a lefty

From Bits and Pieces:

Idiot college presidink

From the Ace of Spades:

psy_Cho, "The Thirty-Third Victim"
—Ace least according to Cornell's president:

“We are here for all of those who are gone, for all 33. We are here for the 32 who have passed from the immediate to another place, not by their own choice. We are also here for the one who has also passed.”

They are consistent -- I'll give them that. There have been previous mentions by the left of the 19 9/11 terrorists as among the dead who must be remembered.

I'd like to ask, though. Shall we begin naming Adolf Hitler as victim number 30,000,001 of Naziism?

Why not? It seems all the rage. He did, after all, shoot himself in the bunker. Isn't he a victim of his own pathologies as well?

Perhaps the Holocaust Museum can celebrate him as a victim to be honored as well. That may be a tricky one, but since we're now obliterating all distinctions between murderer and victim, why not?

"Pack sand, you jackass" - then wipe.

The klown loves the fact the commies hate Carl Rove. HATE HIM. Hate him with all their wittle might. Why though ... why do they hate him so?

The klown figures it this way. The media hates him because he shows his contempt for them. He has no use for the media and he tells them so. Basically tells them to "cram it" and I mean at EVERY opportunity. He's smart enough to know they are going to hate him anyway so he figures "the hell with it." Yes -- Carl Rove knows who the enemy is.

The rest of the commies hate him because the media tells them to hate him. Have you ever seen/heard a lefty question the media? -- Didn't think so.

Anyway -- Good little commie, Sheryl Crow was the White House Correspondent's Dinner Saturday night with the moron (LaurieDavid) who produced "An Inconvenient Truth." (The Global Warming propaganda piece ... uh, I mean, movie.) They decided to approach Carl Rove about global warming. They got all pissed off when he told them to take a hike. That's right -- he told these two brainless bimbos to get lost. (Not in so many words of course - but they got the idea.) The klown loves it when an idiot gets told to pack sand.

But if you think Sheryl Crow is a genius -- you might like this idea.

Sheryl Crow: People should be limited to one square of toilet paper
I propose a limitation be put on how many sqares [sic] of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, who's judgement [sic] I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out."
In the comments, one guy wrote "one square is OK but she'd have to wipe the rest with her hand."

Temporary stay of execution

Off with her head

From Ace of Spades:

Pittsburgh Cleric: Ayaan Hirsi Ali Must Die
The Religion of Peace offers up more of that Ghandiesque devotion nonviolence it's rightly famous for.
After trying to shut down a Hirsi Ali speaking date without success, they went to the natural plan B: Have her executed.

Imam Fouad ElBayly, president of the Johnstown Islamic Center, was among those who objected to Hirsi Ali’s appearance.
“She has been identified as one who has defamed the faith. If you come into the faith, you must abide by the laws, and when you decide to defame it deliberately, the sentence is death,” said ElBayly, who came to the U.S. from Egypt in 1976. ...

Although ElBayly believes a death sentence is warranted for Hirsi Ali, he stressed that America is not the jurisdiction where such a crime should be punished. Instead, Hirsi Ali should be judged in a Muslim country after being given a trial, he added.
“If it is found that a person is mentally unstable, or a child or disabled, there should be no punishment,” he said. “It’s a very merciful religion if you try to understand it.”

Truer words were never spoken.
I appreciate the cover-your-ass avoidance of a solicitation to murder charge ("Oh dear, I'm not talking about gunning her down on the street, I merely mean that if she ever visits an Islamic country, she should be lawfully beheaded"), but, given the unlikelihood of Hirsi Ali moving to Algeria, forgive me if I think some of the less peaceful adherents of the Religion of Peace get it in their head they should take the more expedient route of assassinating her.


Can you imagine if non-adherents of the Religion of Peace began advocating openly in a similar manner for the deaths of Islamist "clerics"? I'm pretty sure you'd be arrested, or at least subject to a roto-rooter investigation. But adherents of the de facto state religion are permitted a bit more latitude on such matters.
The klown knows why regular muslims keep quiet.

Whatever happened to her hunger strike?

Found it at The Disgruntled Truck Driver:

The klown says "Hit her with some hippie-strength mace." I know it exists because I saw it on an episode of the Simpsons.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

New cartoon coming in June

An animated cartoon satire lampooning President Bush and his key executives is set to air on Comedy Central next year. Lil' Bush: Resident of the United States will portray Bush and pals as elementary school misfits, or as Comedy Central describes it, "Lil Rascals with the A-bomb."Lil' Bush started as a five-minute animated series available to Amp'ed mobile customers, but will be stretched out to a half-hour on Comedy Central and air in between South Park and The Daily Show. It marks the first time a mobile series has jumped to television.

End racism now !

The Klown laughs at peeps who think they can "end racism." HAR HAR - IDIOTS.

I hate to be the one to tell you this ... but ... Racism will never end ... ever. Racism is not the only stupidity that will never end. Am I the only person who understands this? Maybe I should alert the media on this tidbit because I've never seen it covered.

The Klown says ... since racism will never end, we better find another way to deal with it ... you know ... cuz "pointing and hollering 'RACIST'" is about as effective as pointing and hollering "DUMBASS." Big deal --- you found one --- burn him at the stake -- another one will be along soon enough.

Here is what I recommend ... STOP worrying about idiots. START worrying about yourself, your character, your family, and how to prosper in the face of adversity.

STOP thinking that the reason you can't prosper is because of some morons in society. They're always going to be there and if you let them affect your attitude, you're most certainly going to be doomed for life. I can't imagine the thought process going on when one spends an inordinate amount of a lifetime fretting about idiots.

AND ANOTHER THING ... Don't let others hold you back. Look around ... "The man" keeping you down is the guy telling you not to "sell out" --- not to "act white" -- not to "be an Uncle Tom" (as if they ever read the book.) Listen to them if you want to hold yourself back.
Talk with their ghetto accent if you want to ensure you NEVER get a good job. Go ahead and get some stupid-assed tattoo on your forehead too -- just to cap it off.

Listen to the klown -- these people are "performance limiters." They are trying to limit your performance to their own level. The hell with them. If you allow yourself to be led by idiots, you've only yourself to blame.

Now --- if you speak perfect English, dress nicely, conduct yourself with professionalism, and you STILL don't succeed ... THEN you'll be like me.

Finally -- trust me -- being white, I know a lot of white people. The ones I know couldn't give a shit less what color you are. Hell -- "whitey's" keepin' us down too you know. It's just that we have no cred when we say it. So we're doin' the best we can ... so drop the bad-ass ghetto crap ... stop wearing your baseball hat like a drunken umpire, and let's all get with the program. Screw the racists on both sides. Let's leave them in hell where they belong. Just remember this --- racism will never end ... ever.

Rapping robber is killed -- *Sniff

Found it at Newsbusters:

It's all so sad and tragic ... *sniff. The San Francisco Chronicle makes sure you understand ... it was all probably just a misunderstanding. The lefty media focuses on how this is so tragic and traumatizing.

I have tell you -- I disagree. I think the "real" story is uplifting.

Here's MY headline:

Pizza shop owner defends family -- kills piece of shit.
Now YOU don't have to worry about the shitpiece robbing YOUR family.

But here's how the liberal S.F. Chronicle "portrays" it.

Some excerpts:

Catarino Piedra, 41, kept a gun underneath the counter at the Coliseum Pizza and Taqueria that he owned in East Oakland because his drivers had been robbed many times while making deliveries.

Allen Joseph Hicks III, 22, was an accused batterer on probation for a drug conviction and an aspiring rap artist whom everybody in his neighborhood knew as "Boonie." (The klown wonders -- are there ANY gun-weilding robbers who AREN'T aspiring rap artists?)

The lives of the two men intersected tragically at about 9:30 p.m. Thursday when Hicks, armed with a pistol and joined by two other men, tried to rob Piedra inside the popular pizzeria at 89th Avenue and International Boulevard. Fearful that the assailants might hurt him, his wife and three children -- all of whom were inside the restaurant -- Piedra pulled out his 9mm semiautomatic pistol and opened fire, killing Hicks, police said.

Click here for the klown's heartfelt condolences.

OK -- now for the Chronicle's brainwashing:

Hicks was remembered at a growing makeshift memorial Friday near the corner of 90th Avenue and Olive Street in East Oakland. Friends left balloons, candles and bottles of Hennessy cognac on the street and wrote messages on white boards tied to a fence. (The klown is always amused when the press uses the term "makeshift memorial" .... but especially so when it applies to a "solid loyal dude" who was blown away whilst trying to take someone's hard earned money away from them.)

"He always had a smile on his face," said a 22-year-old man who identified himself as a rapper named Little Al. "He was a solid dude, loyal."

Mohammed Ali, the manager of a market on the busy thoroughfare that has seen its share of robberies, had mixed feelings about business owners arming themselves.
"Of course they have a right to protect themselves, but from what? If we have law enforcement, should (businesses) have guns? I don't think so. They're inviting trouble." (The klown thinks ... Mixed feelings? ... Inviting trouble? -- more like inviting them to rob your dumbass instead of him. I'm guessing this pizza shop won't be robbed again for a long, LONG time. Meanwhile, they'll keep robbing the shit out of the brainwashed Mohammed Ali.)
As far as I'm concerned, Mr Piedra is a hero. I hope he kills 100 more of those leaches.

ABC News misleads again

Found it at Newsbusters:

This is just a lie. They know better but they're hoping you don't. For your information, EBAY does NOT sell ammo or guns.

Below is an excerpt from the article at the ABC news site:

Ammo from eBay:
Officials Probe VT Killer's Account
Seung-Hui Cho Bought Ammunition for a Gun Like One Used in the Virginia Tech Massacre on the Online Auction Site


Cho apparently purchased a two-pack of 10-round ammunition clips for a Walther P22 on March 22, 2007, less than a month before killing 32 people and himself at Virginia Tech. The ammunition was purchased on eBay from Elk Ridge Shooting Supplies. Police have said Cho used a Walther P22 during his bloody rampage Monday.

In addition to purchasing ammunition online, Cho appears to have sold used copies of books filled with violent themes and overtones on an eBay affiliated Web site called

Saturday, April 21, 2007

No terrorists around here - just militants

From Little Green Footballs:


The US and Australia have warned of an imminent terrorist attack in the Philippines, where seven hostages were this week beheaded by militants.

In an advisory to its citizens the US embassy said an attack could take place anywhere on Mindanao, in the south of the Philippines.

It said intelligence suggested an attack might happen “over the next several days”.

Philippine troops have been fighting Islamic militants for months.
The klown wonders what it would take to get the BBC (or any American media) to use the word "terrorist" again. Seven beheadings isn't enough for the BBC anyway.

Take the poll

Take the poll and it'll show you the results so far.

Psycho shoots -- but why? WHY?

Found it here:

Uh --- maybe cuz he's a PSYCHO ???

Little kid cuts man's head off

By ABDUL SATTAR, Associated Press Writer Sat Apr 21, 12:59 AM ET

KILI FAQIRAN, Pakistan - The boy with the knife looks barely 12. In a high-pitched voice, he denounces the bound, blindfolded man before him as an American spy. Then he hacks off the captive's head to cries of "God is great!" and hoists it in triumph by the hair.

The footage shows Nabi making what is described as a confession, being blindfolded with a checkered scarf.

"He is an American spy. Those who do this kind of thing will get this kind of fate," says his baby-faced executioner, who is not identified.

A continuous 2 1/2-minute shot then shows the victim lying on his side on a patch of rubble-strewn ground. A man holds Nabi by his beard while the boy, wearing a camouflage military jacket and oversized white sneakers, cuts into the throat. Other men and boys call out "Allahu akbar!" — "God is great!" — as blood spurts from the wound.

Where's the Muslim hero?

Newsbusters has a posting about the mainstream media finding a Muslim hero in the Virginia Tech shootings. The klown figures it won't be long -- they found one but they're working on the angle.

Read it here:

Deep thoughts - Jack Handy

When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future, don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.

If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

Anytime I see something screech across a room and latch onto someones neck, and the guy screams and tries to get it off, I have to laugh, because what is that thing.

If you saw two guys named Hambone and Flippy, which one would you think liked dolphins the most? I'd say Flippy, wouldn't you? You'd be wrong, though. It's Hambone.

When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman. After school we'd all go play in his cave, and every once in a while he would eat one of us. It wasn't until later that I found out that Uncle Caveman was a bear.

Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.

Even though I was their captive, the Indians allowed me quite a bit of freedom. I could walk freely, make my own meals, and even hurl large rocks at their heads. It was only later that I discovered that they were not Indians at all but only dirty-clothes hampers.

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.

Forbidden words

From Bits and Pieces:

Miss Black America contest
There will only be 49 contestants in the Miss Black America contest this year. No one wants to wear the sash that says, “IDAHO”.

Patches loves burgers

These guys are off the charts. Patches got lucky when he got these two guys as friends.

Simple answer presented by mental midgets

I remember when I was about 12 years old ... thinking "why don't they just tax the big companies and then tell them they can't raise prices?" Yessir -- that was the answer and I couldn't believe that no one had thought of it yet.

After learning about the constitution and economics, I understood.

Apparently, these two idiot Democrats never got those valuable lessons.

HARRISBURG, Pa. - To Gov. Ed Rendell, it could be a golden goose: a state tax on oil company profits that could not, by law, affect the price of gas at the pump.

Wisconsin Gov. Jim Doyle is floating a similar idea.

Now -- I must tell you -- this idea is so stupid it will NEVER be taken seriously. Well -- I shouldn't say "never" because it appears to me people are getting dumber by the minute.

Anyway ... Here is the article if you don't believe me.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Those Dang Ol' Pacifist Libs

Alec Baldwin - gotta love him! Fights for every dumbass cause but his own family. May he please do as he said and move ANYWHERE but our country...

Wish I had the actual audio, but even Hannity is holding on to it...

LOS ANGELES — The festering bad blood between movie-star exes Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger erupted Thursday when an angry phone message from Baldwin to his daughter was made public.
On the recording, Baldwin can be heard berating his 11-year-old, Ireland, "You are a rude, thoughtless little pig."
"You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being," he says, apparently upset that she did not answer her phone for a planned call.
"I don't give a damn that you're 12 years old, or 11 years old, or that you're a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn't care about what you do as far as I'm concerned. You have humiliated me for the last time with this phone."
He goes on to say that he plans to fly from New York to Los Angeles "for the day just to straighten you out on this issue."

Hmmmmm.. Sounds like a predisposed notion towards violence..... Might save some lives if we intervene now.. but that would be profiling - or would it?

Shitforbrains Democrat

So this lady introduced some gun-control legislation in congress. The reporter asks her about one of the things it would ban (barrel shrouds.)
She tries to sidestep the question.
He asks again.
She tries to sidestep again.
He asks AGAIN.
Is she just retarded or what? HYS-terical. WTG, Democrat moron.

Unreal -- Dumbasses

The senators who voted to give illegal aliens Social Security benefits. They are grouped by home state. If a state is not listed, there was no voting representative.
Alaska : Stevens (R)
Arizona : McCain (R)
Arkansas : Lincoln (D) Pryor (D)
California : Boxer (D) Feinstein (D)
Colorado : Salazar (D)
Connecticut : Dodd (D) Lieberman (D)
Delaware : Biden (D) Carper (D)
Florida : Martinez (R)
Hawaii : Akaka (D) Inouye (D)
Illinois : Durbin (D) Obama (D)
Indiana: Bayh (D) Lugar (R)
Iowa: Harkin (D)
Kansas: Brownback (R)
Louisiana: Landrieu (D)
Maryland: Mikulski (D) Sarbanes (D)
Massachusetts: Kennedy (D) Kerry (D)
Montana: Baucus (D)
Nebraska: Hagel (R)
Nevada: Reid (D)
New Jersey: Lautenberg (D) Menendez (D)
New Mexico: Bingaman (D)
New York: Clinton (D) Schumer (D)
North Dakota : Dorgan (D)
Ohio : DeWine (R) Voinovich(R)
Oregon : Wyden (D)
Pennsylvania : Specter (R)
Rhode Island : Chafee (R) Reed (D)
South Carolina : Graham (R)
South Dakota : Johnson (D)
Vermont : Jeffords (I) Leahy (D)
Washington : Cantwell (D) Murray (D)
Wisconsin : Feingold (D) Kohl (D)

Idiot Democrats

The following senators voted against making English the official language of America :

Akaka (D-HI)
Bayh (D-IN)
Biden (D-DE)
Bingaman (D-NM)
Boxer (D-CA)
Cantwell (D-WA)
Clinton (D-NY)
Dayton (D-MN)
Dodd (D-CT)
Domenici (R-NM)
Durbin (D-IL)
Feingold (D-WI)
Feinstein (D-CA)
Harkin (D-IA)
Inouye (D-HI)
Jeffords (I-VT)
Kennedy (D-MA)
Kerry (D-MA)
Kohl (D-WI)
Lautenberg (D-NJ)
Leahy (D-VT)
Levin (D-MI)
Lieberman (D-CT)
Menendez (D-NJ)
Mikulski (D-MD)
Murray (D-WA)
Obama (D-IL)
Reed (D-RI)
Reid (D-NV)
Salazar (D-CO)
Sarbanes (D-MD)
Schumer (D-NY)
Stabenow (D-MI)
Wyden (D-OR)